MY CRUSH TALKED TO ME TWICE TODAY okay so in human bio he asked me for a pencil. crazy. right? anyways, so the second time i was walking in the hallway to this other class we have together and he came up next to me and asked my if we had any homework in the class. okay its basically love guys. we're getting married
if you're laying in bed wrapped up in sheets of miserable thought, go to sleep if thumbing through old messages only cuases your heart to ache and long for something unattainable erase them if it hurts to keep everything youre feeling bottled up inside let it out if youre clinging onto someone that doesnt treat you like youre worth the world let them go because sometimes we choose to believe that things are only indistinguishable shades of gray when in reality, life is more black and white than it seems if you're unhappy with the way you're living your life change it
i hate that feeling of empitness. idk. like you hear something or see something that brings back such good, fun memories and then you feel upset as you realize where you are and what youre doing now. like sitting on the computer and then going to work later. idk. i think im just looking to have endless fun. fun usually requires friends though. which i lack. i hate that feeling though. it sucks. and the only way to fix it is to do something fun again. idk. this made no sense. and im rambling. and no one will read this. im gonna go shower and then go to work i guess. buhbye
how do you fall in love with someone you've never talked to? i somehow managed it. i wish i could talk to someone about it but its such a strange thing. i dont think anyone would believe me. ive liked this guy for about 2 years. hes two years older than me and graduated yesterday. im never gonna see him again. maybe at a couple sporting events next year. i think im in love with him because i literally compare every guy to him. he makes me soooo nervous. i cant even describe it. its hard for me to look him in the eye when i would pass him in the halls because he knows. i know he knows. i dont think i could make it any more obvious. but i cant talk to him. i just cant. ill mess it up. so when a different guy shows interest in me, ill sort of lead them on because i like the attention theyre giving me. im sort of trying to fill the emptiness. then i ultimately end up being more sad and lonely. im basically screwed unless i can be with this guy. idk. it sort of sucks a lot. i dont think i can talk to anyone about it because its the most ridiculous thing and not even i understand why its like this and why it has to be me. this is my life i guess and this is how its destined to be.
I used to be depressed, sad, lonely, and hating myself. You know what I did? I changed that. I worked at it and lost weight. I was happier with myself and my body. I still want to loose more weight, but im much more happy with my body. I got medication to help with my acne. I grew my hair out. I stopped hanging out with people who brought me down. I stopped being "friends" with people who never hung out with me outside of school and talked crap about me. I made new friends who actually like me. I got a job so I could have money to do and buy things I wanted. I found out so much about myself that helped me understand how I am and why I'm that way and that it's okay that I'm this way. I found activities that made me truly happy and that I could excel in and held on to them tightly I stopped worrying about if a guy likes me or if i have a boyfriend. I stopped worrying so much what others may think of me and became friendly. I began doing my own things and focusing on myself. I realized that I'm okay with doing stuff by myself. I'm okay with looking like a loner. I changed my life so much in the past two years. I am so happy with my life right now. Everything is going so well in my life and I thoroughly enjoy everyday. You can too.
DEPRESSION A lot of you say youre "depressed" when really youre just sad. Youre a teenage girl with raging hormones. Yes, I understand some of you may be clinicly diagnosed with depression, but im sure the majority of you are not. I am not clinically depressed, but my brother is. I don't understand why you would want to be depressed or why you would fake a mental illness. Depression not only hurts you, but it hurts the ones around you. The ones you love and the ones that love you. My brother has depression. Everyday he thinks of suicide. That's just normal for him. I just heard him talking about how he's wondering when life is just going to end. We all made light of it, but deep down it hurts us and scares us. He thinks the only solution is to drink alcohol. We can't keep alcohol in the house. at all. He'll drink a whole bottle of vodka in a night. Don't fake depression. I understand if you're sad and I think youre allowed to be sad sometimes. I admit I get sad sometimes. But if you live your whole life being sad and being negative, you're never really going to enjoy life.Who cares if that boy doesn't like you? There's another guy out there who would adore you for everything you are. Who cares if that girl called you fat? Take it as motivation to loose weight and get healthy. Prove her wrong and show her you're not fat. Happiness is choice for most people. So make your choice.