This is too much.
I've completely lost my mind & gone insane.
so many things have happened in the past 7 months.
i miss how things used to be;
when my mom actually came home from work,
& my sister and i lived under the same roof.
i've had my mind wrapped around my now non-existant love life for too long
that i forgot what's it's like to be a friend, sister, and a daughter.
& now that i've screwed up my relationship with everyone,
i have no one here for me.
i pushed them all away out of anxiety.
i got mad over stupid things i should have been thankful for.
i was selfish & too full-of-myself to even realize.
that was back when i had my health under control.
looking back on it, i realize that if you have good health, you have everything.
i'm now forced to live a totally different life,
not knowing what will happen next,
or if i'll wake up tomorrow.
no one even knows what's wrong with me,
but, somehow, i know i deserve this
& i can understand why no one wants to be there for me.
i'm beyond the point of caring though,
because i know if i worry about it my condition will only worsen.
so, here i am losing people i love because i don't have the will power anymore.
there's nothing i can do about it, i can't make people stick around.
all i can say is i tried.