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lamusicaesmivida

  1. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2012 11:36pm UTC
    Torment
    ~AUTHORS NOTE~
    Hello, Wittians. I would just like to ask that if you are reading my story "Torment" that you fave Chapter 20 (http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5916805). I just want to know how many people are reading this story. Sadly, if less than 10 people are reading this than I am going to finish this story up so I can start a new one that hopefully more people read. So, if Chapter 20 recieves less than 10 faves I will be ending the story soon. Sorry guys.
    **SO PLEASE, IF YOU ARE READING THIS STORY FAVE CHAPTER 20**
    Sincerely, lamusicaesmivida

  2. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2012 11:01pm UTC
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  3. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2012 10:24pm UTC
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  4. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2012 7:22pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 18~
    I woke up facing James; he looks so cute when he’s asleep. I get out of bed to use the bathroom. I walk out of James’ bedroom and walk towards the bathroom. I didn’t think I had to worry about anyone seeing me in just James’ tee shirt and underwear because his parents’ bedroom was downstairs and they had their own bathroom. But, as I walk into the bathroom doorway I bump right into a guy. “Woah” he says. “Sorry” I say. “Who are you?” He asks. “Ava… who are you?” I ask too.
    “My name’s Derek; I’m James’ cousin.”
    “Oh, I’m Ava; James’ girlfriend.”
    “Does Frank and Amy know you spent the night?” That’s James’ parents’ names.
    “Yeah, they said it was fine. Now can I use the bathroom or are you going to ask me 20 questions?”
    “Wow, sassy and sexy. James got the whole package.” Derek says with a wink. I just squeeze past him and go into the bathroom and shut the door. Why was James’ cousin here? I go pee then come back out. I peak my head out the door and look both ways making sure Derek isn’t there. I slowly and quietly tip-toe my way back the James’ room, but right before I get there I hear, “Hey Ava, come here a second.” It’s Derek. “Can’t I put on some pants first?” I say sarcastically and a bit rude.
    “Fine, but it makes it less enjoying for me to talk to you.” I roll my eyes at him and he laughs. I go into James’ room and put on a pair of his sweatpants. I walk back out and down the hall to where I saw Derek’s head pop out to talk to me. I walk in, “What no knock?” He asks sarcastically. I just glare at him. “No, no knock.” I state. “Fine, Mrs. Crabby-pants.” He says. “What is it that you wanted?” I try to say a bit nicer. “I want to talk to you.” He says. “Fine, ask away.” I say as I sit down on the desk chair. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed. “Well, tell me a bit about yourself!” He says. “Fine. Okay, umm. My name is Ava Johanson. I’m a freshman and 15 years old. And James is my boyfriend. What else do you want to know?” I snap.
    “Are you a virgin?” He jokes and laughs. I scowl at him. “No, actually I’m not. Next?” He stares blankly at me like he didn’t think I’d answer the question then shakes his head and focuses again. “Um, don’t you want to know a little bit about me?” He asks. “Fine, go ahead.” I say.
    “Haha, well. My name is Derek; I’m 17 years old and a junior in high-school. And I’m single and I play on the varsity football team with your boyfriend, my cousin. Did you know James is a sophomore?”
    “Yeah, considering I’m his girlfriend, I’d probably know that.” I say sarcastically.
    “Hmm. Last I knew, James was dating a girl named Emily.”
    “Yeah, well James is too good for Emily. She’s a bi*tch.”
    “Well, you’re kind of bi*tchy too.”
    “No, usually I’m not, but it’s the morning and you were being an a*ss.”
    “No I wasn’t!” He says defensively.
    “You kind of were. You called your cousin’s girlfriend sexy and then didn’t want her to put pants on…”
    “I was joking about the pants and you are sexy… Do you want me to lie and call you fat or ugly.”
    “No, trust me I hear that enough.”
    “People call you fat or ugly? How?”
    “They just do because I suffer from eating disorders and low self-esteem, but it’s getting better now that I’m with James.”
    “Hey trust me, you’re practically a stranger so I wouldn’t lie to you. You are no where, NO WHERE, near fat or ugly.”
    “Thanks.” I say looking down.
    “No problem” he says.
    “Well, I better go back to James’ room…”
    “Okay.” I start walking out the door but right before I leave, I turn around, “Really though, thank you for saying that.”
    “No problem” he repeats, this time with a smile.
    “So, do you like live here?” I ask before I leave.
    “Yeah, my parents travel a lot, so I moved in here so I could stay in one school instead of moving all the time. I moved into Camille’s bedroom after she passed… You know about Camille, right?”
    “Yeah, I do… It’s tragic.” I say frowning.
    “Yeah, it is.” He says back. I walk down the hall and back to James’ room. I get back into bed, but I cant fall back to sleep; I was too awake. Shortly after I get back in bed; James wakes up. “Morning, beautiful.” He says to me sleepily. “Morning, babe” I kiss him. He gets up to use the bathroom and I wait for him. “You back for more?” I hear Derek say jokingly. “What the f--- are you talking about?” James says. “Oh, I thought you were your girlfriend.” James finished peeing and walks into Derek’s room. I can hear every word.
    “You know Ava?” James says quickly.
    “Yeah, we got to know each other pretty well this morning… if you know what I mean.” Derek says as if he was bragging.
    “You stay away from her!” James yells jealously.
    “Ha! Try and make me.” Derek says back.
    “She wont do anything with you, Derek, she loves me.”
    “Ha! We’ll see, now wont we.” James walks fast back into his room to me. “Did you do something with my cousin?” James yells at me accusingly.
    “Of course not! We talked!” I yell back, mad that he’d assume that.
    “You better be telling the truth Ava!”
    “Stop being a jealous jacka*ss James! Bring me home now!”
    “No, I’ll bring you home when I’m ready to!” He yells at me. I have never seen him so mad and jealous. I was mad at him for yelling at me like that. Derek walks into the doorway all dressed, “Do you want me to give you a ride home Ava?” Derek asks nicely, but trying to push it in James’ face. “No, she doesn’t” James answers for me.
    “Actually, yes I do. Thank you Derek.” I say looking at James. His face drops, like he was ready to cry. “Do you like motorcycles?” Derek asks.
    “I love them!” I answer still glaring at James. I walk past James who is still standing there stunned. Derek brings me outside to the motorcycle. He gets on it and starts it. “Alright, get on!” Derek yells over the roaring motor. I look back at James who is standing in the door way. “Ava, I swear if you get on that motorcycle then we’re done!” James says. Why is he being like this all of a sudden? I look at Derek who nods his head to get on. Then I look back at James who is standing there, arms crossed, and tapping his foot obnoxiously with an angry and upset face. I get on the motorcycle, wrap my hands around Derek, and we drive off.

  5. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2012 2:26pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapters 1-17~
    Chapter 1: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5889987
    Chapter 2: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5890058
    Chapter 3: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5890130
    Chapter 4: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5890377
    Chapter 5: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5890633
    Chapter 6: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5893031
    Chapter 7: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5893196
    Chapter 8: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5898557
    Chapter 9: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5900012
    Chapter 10: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5900173
    Chapter 11: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5909239
    Chapter 12: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5909356
    Chapter 13: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5910888
    Chapter 14: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5911035
    Chapter 15: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5911134
    Chapter 16: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5913206
    Chapter 17: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/5913335

  6. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2012 1:27pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 17~
    Eventually, James paddles us back in and pulls the canoe back by the shed. He gives me a piggy-back back to the house and we walk in. “Do you guys want some lunch?” His grandma asks. James looks at me. “I think we’ll grab something on our way home when its dinner time, thanks anyways grandma.” James answers. “Well, I’ll just make you guys some snacks then.” She replies. I remember throwing up the day before. James makes me feel so special, if I truly was fat he wouldn’t be telling me all the time how skinny I was and I trust James more than anyone. I must really be skinny, even Emily said that Jo says anything to make herself feel better if she feels intimidated. “I’m going to show Ava my old room, okay grandma?” He asks. “It’s exactly how you left it.” She says back smiling ear to ear. He walks me into it and I sit down on his bed. The room looked so innocent. “This is it!” he says. I smile at him and he comes to sit next to me on his old twin bed. “The bed is a bit smaller than yours” he references to my queen sized bed. “Yeah, but this one’s cozy” I reply while laying down on it. He lies down next to me and holds me while kissing my neck. I turn around so I face him and we kiss some more. Well we did until his grandma walked in, “Here, I made you guys some mini sandwiches” she says. “Thank you” I say and then James says “Yeah, thanks gram.” We start eating them, I was hungry. I was actually hungry for once and I actually enjoyed eating for once. I finally made a break through; I realized I was skinny and that I didn’t have to starve myself anymore. After eating, James and I laid back down facing each other. He wrapped his arms around me and I wrapped mine around him and we drifted off to sleep. We took a nap together. I woke up once and barely opened my eyes and saw his grandparents in the doorway, smiling at us. I closed my eyes again and fell back to sleep. We woke up again about an hour or so later and talked for a bit and then got ready to leave. James said bye to his grandparents; I said bye to them too. His grandmother hugged me again. As we walked to James’ car his grandmother yelled out the door to him, “Make sure to come back and visit again soon Jimmy! Oh, and bring your girlfriend again too! Bye Ava, nice meeting you!” I yelled back goodbye and smiled. James and drove off and stopped at a fast food restaurant on our way home for a quick bite for supper. After we ate, James asked me if I wanted to go meet his parents. I said sure. Miles and miles later, we pulled into his house. James introduced me to his parents and they were happy to meet me. James asked them if I could spend the night and they said that it was fine if I wanted to. It was 7 pm at this point. I called my mom.
    “Hello?”
    “Hey mom, is it okay if I sleep over James’ house? His parents are here.”
    “Umm. I don’t know, I don’t like the idea of you sleeping over a boys house, especially your boyfriends.”
    “Mom, don’t worry so much.”
    “Fine, I guess it’s okay.”
    “Thanks mom! Love you!”
    “Love you too.”
    Then we say goodbye and I hang up. I told James my mom said it was fine. We walked upstairs to his actual bedroom. He had a big bed at this house. We climbed into bed and watched a movie together. He gave me a shirt of his to sleep in, so I just slept in his tee shirt and underwear. We kissed for a bit then I fell asleep in his arms. This day has been perfect and it ended perfectly. I was so much in love with him.

  7. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 25, 2012 1:07pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 16~
    The next morning is Saturday and I wake up around 10 a.m. I open my eyes and see a person sitting in my desk chair looking at their phone. It’s James. I sit up in bed and look at him. “Hey, what are you doing here?” I ask with a sleepy voice. “I just dropped by and was waiting for you to wake up.” He replies. “How long have you been waiting?” “Not long.” He assures me. I get out of bed wearing nothing but a bra and a pair of boy-short pajama bottoms. I get up and throw on some sweat pants and a tee shirt. I walk over and sit on his lap and peck his cheek. “Do you want to go do something today? Just you and me?” He asks returning my peck on the cheek with a peck on my lips. “Sure, if you want to wait for me to take a quick shower and get dressed?” “Yeah, that’s fine.” He replies with a smile. I jump up and go to the bathroom and start the shower. He gets out of the chair and lies upon my bed. I take a quick shower and shampoo, condition, wash, and shave, then I get out. I wrap the towel around my body and walk back into my room. “Are you wearing that?” He asks sarcastically while smiling. “Oh yeah, it’s a new dress, do you like it?” I reply sarcastically with a wink. “So what should I wear what are we going to be doing?” I ask seriously. “You can wear whatever you desire.” He smirks. “You are no help at all.” I joke. I just grab some jeans, underwear, a bra, and a shirt. I head back into the bathroom to change. I came out wearing heels and James told me I might want to wear boots or sneakers. I saw that he was wearing his Timberland work boots, so I figured I’d wear mine too. So this is what I wear, (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=51712648). I walk out of the bathroom; James looks shocked. “You own Timberlands?” He asks. “Yup!” I say proudly strutting around in my boots. He just looks at me and smirks. “Well, you ready to go?” He asks. “Yes!” I say throwing my arms around him to hug him. He hugs back and kisses me. “Let’s go.” He says. “I want to show you something.” He says mysteriously. “Alright?” I say questioningly. We go down stairs and I tell my mom that I’m leaving with James and that I’ll be home later and to tell Vanessa if she asks. She says okay and we walk out the door holding hands. He opens and shuts the car door for me then runs around the front and gets in his side. As we drive he’s holding my hand with one hand and driving with the other. We keep driving and driving and driving until we pull into a private property dirt road. “Where are we going?” I ask him. All he says is, “you’ll see” and smiles at me. The road goes forever and we are approaching an old log cabin house that looks abandoned and we’re in the middle of the woods. He parks the car in front of the house then shuts the car off, “Come on” he says while getting out of the car. So, I get out of the car and walk around the car towards him. He’s holding out a hand waiting for me to take it, so I do and we walk up to the house and he knocks on the door. An old woman answers it, “Hello? Oh it’s Jimmy!” she says then she hollers back in the house, “George get out here, it’s Jimmy!” She hugs him, then an old man comes and shakes his hand and says hello. “Grandma, Grandpa, this is my girlfriend, Ava.” James introduces me. “Oh our little Jimmy has a girlfriend!” The old woman says as she hugs me. “I was wondering if you guys minded if I took her out to the old fish house?” James asked. “That’s no problem at all, go ahead!” His grandma says excitedly. So James takes my hand and walks me through the house and out the back door. We then head out to a path behind the house into the woods. “So, if you didn’t figure it out, this is my grand-parents’ house.” He smirks. “Yeah, I think I figured that out.” I smirk back. “They call you Jimmy too?” I say. “Yeah, a lot of my family does.” I realized I haven’t even met James’ parents yet. We keep walking through the woods. “Me and Camille used to come up here every summer for half of the summer and stay with my grandparents. But, I stopped coming up after Camille passed, because it brought back too many memories and I got upset. It wasn’t the same coming here without her.” He says getting emotional. I see him quickly wipe his eye. I start to see a broken down wooden shed up ahead. James walks me up to it and opens the door and brings me inside. I noticed a sign on the door that was barely hanging on, it read: “Camille and Jimmy’s Fish House” and I smiled at it. We went inside and there was a bunch of old fishing poles, buckets, old bait containers, hooks, and other fishing gear. “Camille and I would come out here every morning to go fishing.” He brings me out of the shed and around to the side where there is a canoe and paddles. He takes the canoe down and gets it lined up next to the lake. “Want to join me?” He asks while starting to push the front into the lake. “Of course I will” I reply. “Jump in it with the paddles” He says. So I do. He pushes it in more, and then he jumps in it too. He starts paddling until we are in the middle of the lake. Then, he picks up the paddles and puts them into the canoe. He moves closer to me and kisses me. Everything at that moment felt perfect. I always thought that perfection wasn’t completely possible, but at that moment it was. I loved him more than anything. We keep kissing until he pulls away. “I’m falling deeply in love with you Ava, so if you are just playing me then you need to tell me before I fall too deep” He says straight into my eyes. My eyes start to tear up, “I’m in love with you James, I love you so much” I say as I kiss him again. His eyes start to tear up too and we both just sit there kissing. His hands are gently laid upon my waist. “That’s good”, he says, “Because I’ve already fallen too deep.” Then he goes back to kissing me, and everything is even more perfect than before. James is my first love and he loves me back.

  8. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 24, 2012 11:56pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 15~
    Once I get halfway towards our lunch table, it happens right in the middle of the cafeteria, when I’m completely surrounded by people. I break down. My emotions hit me. I couldn’t even hold them in, I didn’t see it coming. Tears flowed down my face to the extreme. James’ and Vanessa’s and Jo’s and Ky’s faces all dropped. James and Vanessa rushed out of their seats. I broke down. I fell to my knees. I threw my bag. This was the type of break down you have by yourself in your room and throw everything around; I used to have them a lot. But, this one was 10 times worse. I was sobbing uncontrollably. James came over and picked me up off the floor and started to run to get me out of the cafeteria full of people. Vanessa picked up my bag and stuff and saw one kid video-taping it on his phone. Only one person even tried. Vanessa grabbed hold of his phone, deleted the video, and then slammed the phone to the ground and it shattered. No one else even wanted to attempt making a video after that. I fell to pieces in James’ arms. Emily had come out of the bathroom and saw the whole thing. She wasn’t laughing like all the others though. I just wanted to go home. Everyone would be gone at this time of day. So, James took me home. He carries me to my room; it was just him and me. I finally stop freaking out.
    “What happened to you?” He asks concerned.
    “I just really don’t know and don’t want to talk about it, James.”
    “That’s fine. What do you want to do for the rest of the day then? I’m all yours.” He says softly with a smile.
    “I don’t know.” We just lay on my bed spooning and cuddling. He has his hands around my waist. Everything at that moment was perfect. Until I mistakenly blurt out randomly, “I made myself throw up again today for the first time in 3 weeks…” James looks at me with sad eyes and is concerned. “I thought you were getting better? Why?” He says.
    “Jo told me I looked like I was getting chunky from actually eating food again today at lunch before you got there.” I told him to whole story of my encounter in the bathroom with Emily. After he hugs me tighter. “Well, you might be more fragile than most girls, but you’re all mine.” He finally says. Everything is perfect again. James and I have 3 hours together before Vanessa and my mom will get home. James and I cuddle and talk for an hour. Then we start kissing and making out and before I knew it we were taking off each other’s clothes. This day was memorable for so many reasons, especially since it was the first time James and I were intimate. We got dressed again after and just lie in bed together and fell asleep until Vanessa woke us up when she came home off the bus. “Hey, your mom is going to be home any minute, you got to look like you guys just got home now!” Vanessa yells at us. We sit up and all of us run to the living room and turn on the TV before my mom got home. Later that night, after James went home, I told Vanessa about what James and I did. She was shocked, but was happy for us. I realized James and I already took the big step and had only been dating for about a week or so, but we were so connected and it felt as if we had been dating for months and months. I was truly in love with James and I knew I had to tell him soon.

  9. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 24, 2012 11:36pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 14~
    We stand there shocked and staring at each other for a little while. Then we both break out in more tears and sit down on the bathroom floor across from each other. “So, how can you hate your life? You took mine.” She says.
    “Well, when your own ‘friend’ tells you that you’ve been gaining weight and you are anorexic and bulimic, wouldn’t you hate your life too?”
    “Jo said that?”
    “I didn’t say that..?”
    “Jo used to always put me down when she felt intimidated.”
    “Yeah, it was her.”
    “How’s James? I miss him.”
    “He’s good, we’re dating now.”
    “I know, don’t remind me.” She cries more.
    “So why do you hate your life so much?”
    “I have no friends, my boyfriend move on pretty fast after dumping me, I’m hated so much, and my family blames all their problems on me.”
    “I’m sorry I ruined your life, Emily.”
    “No, I deserve it, it’s karma.”
    “For what?”
    “Ruining yours.”
    We sit silenced for a little while.
    “Why did you ditch me at the start of middle school and make everyone hate me, Emily? You were my best friend, Emily! My best friend!” I raise my voice to her while crying harder.
    “I’m sorry Ava… I just thought that you were better than me and that if I didn’t get rid of you then you would me. I was intimidated. You were gorgeous and perfect and I was me. All the guys were attracted to you.”
    “We were best friends though! And the guys liked you just as much and you just kicked me to the dirt and made fun of me. You made me anorexic and bulimic and you even made me self-harm once. It scared me so much that I couldn’t do it ever again. You made me hate myself.”
    “I’m sorry Ava, I really am.”
    “And whenever my eating disorders started to get better, you just had to say some remark to me to make me fall into the old habits of starving and what little I did eat, I threw up.”
    “I know, I know, I know! OKAY? Happy? You got me back! Okay.”
    “No! Emily NO! Not okay! You made me almost kill myself. You couldn’t go a day, not one, without telling me to go kill myself! Not one little day. Every night I cried myself to sleep. And at the dance you couldn’t stand letting Vanessa and I have an ounce of attention.”
    “Because at the dance I freaked out thinking I was going to relive my feelings at the beginning of middle school.”
    “So, you couldn’t let me even live a normal life? You just had to make me want to die because I hated myself so much? Is that right, Emily?”
    She starts to cry a lot and so do I.
    “I cant tell you how sorry I am, Ava.”
    “I cant believe anything you say. That first year of middle school, every single day when I got home my mom asked me, ‘How’s Emily? Why doesn’t she come over anymore? Why did you ditch your best friend, Ava?’ She didn’t know you ditched me and made me hate myself. I even started to not blame other people for hating me because I hated myself too, so that’s something I had in common with everyone.”
    “I’m sorry.”
    “I just don’t understand how you could do such things and treat your own best friend so badly and not feel an ounce of guilt.”
    “Trust me Ava, I felt plenty of guilt.”
    “Yeah, but did you cry yourself to sleep every night, asking yourself ‘Why does everyone hate me so much?’ Did you want to die? Did you starve yourself and make yourself throw up to try to live up to Emily’s guidelines of perfection? Did you pray every night that people didn’t hate you so much? Did you ever have to talk yourself out of suicide because you had no friends to help you? Did your best friend turn against you and make your life a living h*ll? Have you ever have to save anyone from committing suicide right before they did it? Have you ever taking a marker and marked X’s all over your body because you hated it so much? Did you ever think or have to live through any of these things but yet keep a smile on your face through it all, Emily? No, you didn’t. Because you got to live your perfect little life while looking like a Barbie. And that’s why I resent you Emily, because I was jealous that you got to live such an amazing life while I spent my days friendless waiting to die.”
    “You were jealous of me?”
    “Yeah, I was. Are you happy to finally hear me say it?” I start to get up and grab my bag to leave.
    “I’m sorry Ava!” She yells as I’m opening the door. I whip away the last bit of my tears, for now and turn around in the doorway and I look at her pathetic little body. “Save your sorrys Emily, I don’t want to hear them. Have fun living your life because it cant ever get nearly as bad as you made mine.” I slam the bathroom door behind me and leave her there crying. I walk into the cafeteria and see James waving me over to the table. I also see Jo turn around with a snobby look. I start walking towards them and then it happens. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t hold it in and I never even saw it coming…

  10. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 24, 2012 11:08pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 13~
    I wake up at 5:30a.m. to get ready for school. I roll out of my warm bed and walk across the bathroom hallway to get to the guest room, Vanessa’s room. I knock on the door three times. I hear nothing, but a grunt and moan. I open the door to see Vanessa still sleeping, but tossing and turning in the covers. “Wake up, sleepy head!” I yell only a few inches from her ear. She makes a noise that sounds like a mix between a shriek and a moan. She barely opens her eyes and looks at me. I start to walk back to the bathroom and I chuck a throw-pillow that was on the floor at her. She jumps up to sit up in bed and looks at me irritated.
    “Vanessa! You have to get up! James is picking us up around 6:45ish.”
    “Yeah, yeah, yeah…” She simply replies while getting out of bed. “I didn’t have time last night to set everything up so I didn’t get to set up my alarm…” She adds. “Well, we don’t have school tomorrow anyways at least.” I say back to her while combing out my hair. “It’s supposed to get up to high 70’s today so dress for hot weather!” I yell to her. “Mhm.” She replies. I decided to wear a cute sun dress. She just threw on a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. This is our outfits: (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=51679210). We finish fixing our hair and doing our makeup just in time for the sound of James honking his car. We run down the stairs, my dad has already left for work, but we say bye to my mom. Then we go out the door. Once again we hop into the car and I lean over to give James a kiss. Then we drive off. Once we get to school, we three walk in together. James is holding my hand on my left, and Vanessa is walking next to me on my right. Everybody stares; I guess they were all surprised that Vanessa and I were friends again. I heard a girl from our grade, Jaymee, say: “How can those two be friends? Look at them, they look like complete opposites, you have a girly popular and then a rebel.” She says it to her friend Lily. James lets go of my hand and kisses me on the cheek to go talk to his best friend, Matt. Ky and Jo approach and Ky takes my left and Jo shrugs Vanessa away from me to steal my right. While they are in mid-sentence I just completely stop walking and look over to Vanessa, “Sorry, Jo, but you took Vanessa’s spot, she was there first.” Then I look directly at Vanessa, “Aren’t you coming?” She comes back on my right with a smile and a smirk. Jo looks confused. “If you guys want me in the popular group then Vanessa has to be right there with me, she’s my best friend.” I make sure to state clearly. “I don’t care if she’s in the popular group with us, Vanessa’s fine.” Ky assures me. Jo nods in agreement. I look at Vanessa with a wink. We all pass Emily while laughing. I sort of forgot about her to be honest. She still looks as if she’d been crying. “She’s so pathetic.” Jo says making sure Emily hears. “Yeah and she’s ugly, what happened to her?” Ky laughs at her own sentence. Vanessa just glares at me, I know what she’s trying to tell me… “Come on guys don’t be so harsh.” I finally say. “Well, she definitely aint perfect no more.” Jo says. Ky laughs. I cant take it, why is Jo being so mean? Vanessa gives me that glare again. “Okay Jo”, I laugh, “Trust me, you aren’t perfect either and how about you speak less like an idiot… the correct way to say that is she definitely isn’t perfect any more.” I put emphasis on her mistakes. Jo just looks down at her feet, but also gives me a despicable glance. Vanessa gives me glare to tell me I made it worse. The bells rings and rings and rings again. I got through two blocks now and I head to lunch. I bring my tray of food over to the popular table. Jo and Ky both aren’t eating, again. “Woah, woah, woah! Ava, you’re eating food? That must be why I’ve noticed you’ve gained weight…” Jo makes snide remarks. “What? I’m gaining?” I ask concerned. I have been eating a lot more lately, ever since I started dating James I have been eating a lot. Oh my god what if I am gaining, I don’t want to be fat! “Yeah, you’re getting a little chunky!” Jo snaps. Ky hits her arm and tells her to shut up. I run out of the lunch room and hear Ky asking Jo why she’s such a b*tch. I run to the bathroom handicap stall. More room. I kneel by the toilet and jam my finger in the back of my throat, and I throw up. I haven’t made myself throw up for a while. And I have been eating more lately so I threw up a lot. James and Vanessa met up in the lunch room and were both looking for me. Jo told them I had to use the bathroom and that I should be back. So, they just sat down to wait. After throwing up… a lot. I just sat on the stall floor leaning against the wall. Before I know it tears start flowing non-stop down my face. I’m sobbing terribly. In a pause of my sobbing I hear someone else crying in the next stall over. I can see a piece of them sitting leaning against the stall wall too. I see their shoes. They were wearing pink heels. I hear her talk. “Hey, can you please pass me some toilet paper?” I hear her sobbing while asking. “Mhm, here.” I reply sobbing. She hangs her hand under the stall into mine. I pass the toilet paper to her. I see her bracelet. It was a charm bracelet that said, ‘Emily’ on it. Oh my god, Emily is crying in the next stall over! That makes sense, Emily was wearing pink heels when I saw her this morning. “Why are you crying?” I ask while still sobbing. “Because I hate my life” She replies. “And you?” She asks. “Well, my life just sucks…” I answer her. “Can we come out and talk to each other?” She asks. I cant let her know it’s me, but maybe I should… “Yes.” I answer not realizing I was answering. I hear her stall door unlock and open. I unlock mine and walk out to see her standing there, mascara running down her face. I see my reflection in the mirror, mine was too.

  11. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 24, 2012 6:45pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 12~
    Once we get in front of Vanessa’s house I can remember the feeling I just had an hour or so before running through my veins. We all get out of the car and walk up the old creaky broken down stairs. Vanessa immediately goes to her room and starts packing up necessities. I follow her up and go into her room. She’s packing clothes into a box she found.
    “Vanessa, I’ll pack up your clothes if you want to go pack up other memorable items you’d like to bring?”
    “Okay thanks!” She seems excited to move.
    I pack up her clothes; I simply just empty her drawers and closet of clothes into the boxes. I go over in my head to make sure I got all items of clothes: underwear, bras, pants, jeans, shorts, skirts, dresses, all kinds of shirts, jackets, etc. I think I got it all. I bring that box downstairs and go to the car and put it in the trunk. I walk back in and see Vanessa in the living room packing picture albums and frames. The bank agent previously told Vanessa that anything they found that she didn’t take with her, they would put it into a rented storage room that they would pay for. I go to find James and find him in the kitchen. He is sitting in the kitchen chair slouched over. I turn towards him and he’s holding a crumpled piece of paper in his hands, reading. I see tears running down his cheeks and drip onto the hard kitchen tiled floor.
    “Oh my god, James, don’t read that!” I yell, but quietly enough so Vanessa wont hear me.
    “Too late, Vanessa… She’s just like my sister Camille.”
    “You cant tell anyone, James! No one!”
    “This is why you skipped our date, isn’t it?”
    “Yes. I just had a hunch by something she had told me earlier and I saved her right before she hung herself in the woods.”
    “Oh my god.” He looked as if he was ready to vomit. I hug him and wipe away his tears.
    “I hear Vanessa coming, James, you have to stop crying!” He does. Right as Vanessa walks in I grab the note from James hands and crumple it and put it into my sweatpants pocket with my phone. I go back upstairs and pack away other necessities of Vanessa’s. Finally we packed everything she needed and got it jammed into James’ car. We all get into the car and get back to my house. My mother and father greet us. My dad eyeballs James and I holding hands. My mom must have filled him in on everything because there were no questions. All of us just grabbed boxes and brought them up to the guest room, I mean Vanessa’s room. At last we get all the boxes out of James’ car. Vanessa starts to unpack, but gets interrupted because all five of us are going to have dinner together. After we eat, Vanessa goes back to her room and keeps working on unpacking. I forgot that it was only Thursday and that we had school tomorrow. James and I walk up to my room and lay on the bed together. We just lay there in silence as he holds me. He wraps his arms around me and I lay my head on his chest. We eventually must have dosed off into a sleep because next thing I remembered was my mom shaking me to wake me up. “Ava, it’s 10p.m, you have school tomorrow. It’s time for James to go home.”
    “Okay, sorry mom, we fell asleep.” She leaves the room. I shake James awake.
    “Hey, we fell asleep, my mom says it’s time for you to get going back home.”
    “Alright, yeah its 10, wow.” He says sleepily, squinting at his phone. Him and I kiss for a few minutes and then walk downstairs holding hands. I walked him out to the front porch, then we kissed again, then he walked to his car and waved goodbye while getting into his car. I blow him a kiss then turn around and walk inside. I say goodnight to my parents when passing the living room, then make my way upstairs. I go to Vanessa’s room first. I knock on the door, she tells me to come in.
    “Hey, I just came in to say goodnight and we got to get up early for school tomorrow morning.” I was amazed by how different the guest room looked with all her stuff in it; all her personality overwhelms into that room. “Yeah, goodnight.” She replies with a smile. I start to leave her room then she says, “And thanks for everything today.”
    “Your welcome.” I say with a smile. I shouldn’t be getting thanked though because earlier today I treated her terrible. I walk back to my room and turn my light off then run and jump into my bed. I put my hand into my pocket to take my phone out and put it on the bedside table. I take out her note with my phone; I forgot it was even in there. I read over again and again and again. I cry every time I read it, but I cant stop. Finally, I stuff it under my mattress. Goodnight James. Goodnight Vanessa. Goodnight Mom and Dad. Goodnight myself. Goodnight world. Goodnight everyone.

  12. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 24, 2012 6:19pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 11~
    I get to my house, still piggy-backing Vanessa. As I walk in, covered in mud, my mother looks shocked. “Oh my god, Ava… Vanessa… What happened to you guys?” I put Vanessa down and she looks at me innocently then stares down towards her feet. I couldn’t tell my mom the truth; that Vanessa tried to kill herself again. “Oh… um… Vanessa and I were taking a walk through the woods when it started to pour and we slipped in the mud. Then Vanessa rolled her ankle and it hurt for her to walk so I carried her.” I turn towards Vanessa, “Does your foot feel better?” I ask with a wink and smile. “Yeah, thanks for carrying me.”
    “Oh mom, can I ask you something privately?” I ask.
    “Yeah, but let’s step outside I don’t want you getting everything muddy. Vanessa, if you would like you can go to the bathroom and take a shower, just borrow some of Ava’s clothes.”
    “Okay, thank you.” Vanessa replies quietly. My mom and I walk outside to talk and Vanessa departs to the bathroom.
    “Mom, since Vanessa’s mom died she has no place to sleep. The bank owns the house now and has to sell it or auction it or something and so Vanessa will have to go to a foster home in who knows where with who knows who. Can we volunteer to be that foster home? Then, she can live in our guest room?”
    “I don’t know sweetheart…”
    “Please mom, it’s Vanessa, she cant just live with some strangers…!”
    “Fine. Vanessa can live with us, but you’ll have to get cleaned up then you and Vanessa will have to go gather the things she wants.”
    “Okay, that’s fine! Thank you so much, mom!”
    “Mhm.”
    I run back inside and wait for Vanessa to get out of the bathroom. She comes out in her towel. “What can I wear?” she asks shyly.
    “Vanessa, why are you acting like we’re strangers, if you’re going to live here then you should start acting normal around me again. Wear whatever you want, what’s mine is yours.”
    “Okay thanks, wait!? I’m going to live here?”
    “Yup the guest room is now all yours and only yours.” She simply just smiles. I run into the bathroom to shower. Once I come out she’s in the guest room looking around. The guest room and my bedroom are connected by a bathroom. My bathroom, which will now be me and Vanessa’s bathroom. I get into some sweats and a tee shirt. She’s wearing a pair of my sweats and a tank top. I decide to give her a little time to herself, but I’m paying good attention to her. I decide to call my boyfriend, James.
    “Hello?”
    “Hey, James…”
    “Hey… you know, you rescheduled our date to tonight because you said you were busy tomorrow night… then you never showed up.”
    “I know babe, and I’m so sorry, but something else more important came up.”
    “More important? What..?”
    “I cant tell you, im sorry.”
    “Is it another guy?” His voice gets insecure.
    “Of course not, James… don’t get all suspicious and jealous it had to do with Vanessa, I had to be there for her!!”
    “Weird, I thought you guys wasn’t even friends anymore…”
    “We went through a rough patch, but we’re better now and she’s moving in because of what happened to her mom…”
    “Oh yeah I heard…”
    “You can come over and stay awhile if you want, we just got to run over to Vanessa’s house and get the stuff she wants… if you want to help?”
    “Sure. I’ll be over shortly and I’ll drive you guys over and she pack stuff into my car.”
    “Awesome! Thanks babe, love you!”
    “Love you too.”
    “Bye!”
    “See ya soon.”
    I put my phone into my sweatpants pocket and walk over towards the guest room. Vanessa is just lying on the bed in silence.
    “Hey Vanessa, James is going to be over shortly and he’s going to drive us over to your old house so you can gather up what you want to keep and bring it here. Okay?”
    “Yeah, okay, thanks.”
    “No problem, and Vanessa?”
    “Yeah?”
    “I know a lot has happened in the past week and even though I’ve been a pretty sh*tty friend lately, I will always be there for you even if you don’t want to be best friends anymore.”
    “I want to be best friends again Ava, as long as you promise to never ditch me for the popularity.”
    “If being your friend costs me my popularity then there’s no harm done. But, if the popularity still wants me then they’ll have to accept you too. Because, we’re a package deal now, Vanessa and nothing, nothing will change that.”
    I can hear a car door slam shut, then the doorbell rang.
    “Oh hello? How can I help you?” I hear my mom question the doorbell ringer. I’m running down the stairs while Vanessa follows when I hear James say, “Oh hi, you must be Ava’s mother, I’m her boyfriend James.”
    “Ava has a boyfriend?” My mom excitingly says while turning to look at me. “Shocking isn’t it mom?” I say sarcastically as I grab my coat and throw my other coat to Vanessa. “James is driving us to get all Vanessa’s stuff, we’ll be back later.”
    “James, you can drive? How old are you?”
    “Don’t worry mom! He’s only 16!” I assure her as we walk out the door. My mom shuts it behind us and we all pile into the car. Vanessa gets in the back. I lean over the center console to give James a kiss and notice my mom watching. I wave bye and we start to stroll down the road on our way to Vanessa’s house, and all the memories.

  13. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 22, 2012 9:51pm UTC
    Did you know that every night before you
    go to sleep there is one person of the
    opposite gender thinking of you? They
    want to kiss you, they want to be with you,
    they are always thinking about you. This is
    all true and not fake! If you repost this in 5
    minutes the person that is longing to be
    with you will approach you within one
    month and ask you out, or grab you, and
    kiss you. But, if you break this chain no
    one will like you, or ask you out again for
    5 years. (sorry, not risking it)

  14. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 22, 2012 7:08pm UTC
    Torment
    ~AUTHOR'S NOTE~
    Hi, Wittians. I would just like to add a little note after posting the 10th chapter of my ongoing fictional story "Torment". This 10th chapter was a lot about suicide and I just would like to tell you all that Suicide is NEVER the answer. You are all wanted by someone. Just like Vanessa was wanted by Ava and her mother. Vanessa was saved and gets to live her life. Although she thought at the moment no one cared, people did. And its the same for any of you out there. You are all wanted and none of you are hopeless. Suicide is never the answer and if you think it is, then you need to talk to someone.
    Thank you,
    lamusicaesmivida

  15. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 22, 2012 7:03pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 10~
    I see that old chipped yellow painted house approaching. I have never been gladder to see it. Tears are obstructing my vision. I can taste the saltiness on my lips. I run faster than ever up those old broken down steps and burst through the door. I run to her room, she’s not there. The living room, not there; bathroom, not there. I check almost all the rooms and she’s nowhere to be found. I go to the kitchen and she’s not there, but there’s a note on the counter. It says this…
    “Dear whoever found this,
    I cant stand not having my mother here. The kids at school hate me. Nobody loves me. My mother was the only one there for me. Even my own best friend left me for the more popular crowd. I’m worthless. If anyone cares enough to give me proper burial, please bury me next to my mother. I will be at the old oak tree in the woods behind my house. And mom- I love you, and will see you soon in heaven.
    Sincerely, Vanessa”
    OH MY! I book it out her back door leaving the note on the table. I run through the woods, my breath growing strong, my knees want to buckle, I want to faint, but I cant. I have to find her. Hopefully it’s not too late. In the distance I see a figure by the tree, and a rope with a neatly tied loop. And she is standing up on a chair, preparing. I run, faster than I did before. As I’m getting closer she is getting ready. I get to her as she is starting to launch off the chair. But, I tackle her off the chair, away from the rope, and on to the ground. She shrieks, “Get off me, I have to do it!” She yells at me while crying hysterically. “No, I wont let you, you’re my best friend!” She’s trying to crawl out of my grasp, but I hold her down. Finally I get to a position so that I can sit on her and pin her arms and legs down.
    “Really? Really, Ava? You’re my best friend? Since when?”
    “I’ve always been, even though I treat you like crap and you really shouldn’t give me the time of day cause I’m a terrible friend. But, I would choose you to save from dying before Ky or Jo. Even though I’m the new Emily, a royal b*tch, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”
    She just rolls her eyes.
    “I had no idea your mother died after suffering from cancer, Vanessa. Why didn’t you tell me?”
    Vanessa starts to cry even harder.
    “I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want to believe it, and she was supposed to get better, but she didn’t.”
    “I’m so sorry Vanessa, I know your mom meant the world to you-”
    “No Ava-” She interrupts me. “She was my world. After my dad left us after my first suicide attempt, she was the only one there for me. Then I met you and I thought I actually might have a friend that cared about me, but then you became the new Emily and I hated you for it. I hated you.”
    “I’m sorry I did that to you Vanessa and I don’t blame you if you never want to be friends again, but you will always, ALWAYS, be my best friend, and I wont ever let you kill yourself.”
    “I just want to be with my mom.” She cries. I start to get off her and we both sit next to each other. I put my arms around her and she cries into my shoulder.
    “I know you do, I know.” I start to cry too. We both sit there in silence, only the sound of our tears. Just like at the Fall Ball with me and James. After about 10 minutes of straight crying it begins to down pour. The ground we sit on begins to get muddy and my pink skirt gets covered in mud and tears.
    “I need you here with me Vanessa.” I break the silence.
    “You don’t need me Ava, you have Kyla and Joanne and James and your family, and so many more. Nobody needs me.”
    “That’s not true. Many people need you. Especially me and your mom.”
    “Exactly, my mom needs me and I need her.”
    “But, you know your mom would never forgive herself if you committed suicide to be there with you. Your mom tried so hard to stay by you and make your suicidal thoughts disappear for a while and she wants you to live a long happy life and then once you are old and it’s time for your death then you will join her. And guess what Vanessa? Your mom will wait for you, because she knows you deserve a long life. And I know you do too. I’m sorry for being a terrible friend, please forgive me.”
    We sit there in silence for a while longer. The rain pours onto us. At this point we are drenched. I stand up and rip the rope down and slam the chair against the tree. The chair breaks into many pieces. She had rope cutters out here to fix the rope and so I grabbed them. I cut the rope into many small pieces and threw them far away. I ball my eyes out while I do all this and Vanessa watches me. Then I slam myself down into the mud to hug her. I prop her up and put her on my back, she’s still crying, I am too. I am piggy-backing her back out of the woods. As we exit the woods she whispers in my ear, “You saved me.” Then she remains back to silence. I piggy-back her down the street and back to my house. I saved her. I saved her. I saved her.

  16. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 22, 2012 6:32pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 9~
    Tuesday and Wednesday flew by and it was already Thursday. When popular, the days go by fast compared to when you’re a reject. Then, you cant wait for the long lasting day to be over. I haven’t really seen much of Vanessa this week. But, I have made some new friends so that’s good. I am now friends with Kyla and Joanna a.k.a. Ky and Jo. Ky and Jo are who I used to call Emily’s wannabes. Emily doesn’t really have many friends now. In a way I kind of replaced her, oh well. I haven’t talked to Vanessa since Tuesday morning though. I don’t know what’s up with her lately. When I talked to her on Tuesday she was really shaky and jittery, like something was on her mind. But when I asked her what was wrong she said, “Nothing, I’m fine.” And then she walked away. I was going to run after her, but then Ky and Jo came up to me to talk and I sort of forgot? Anyways today, this is what I’m wearing (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=51516855). I see James and run over and leap into his arms. He hugs me. “I’m excited for our date tonight!” I say to him. “Me too!” He says back. I jump down from his grasp. Then I say, “See you then” as I wink and blow him a kiss then walk away. He smiles and then receives many high fives from his football buddies. Then I hear one yell, “Yeah, James, get some!” I laugh to myself. I see Vanessa. She’s is sitting in the corner of the school meeting lobby with her knees curled up to her chest and her head down. “What’s wrong Vanessa?” I yell over. “Nothing.” She states and returns her head down. “Are you sure? Do you want me to come over there?”
    “Umm. No! Don’t!” She yells back. It seemed suspicious so I walked over anyways. She was wearing long black pants and a long sleeve black shirt. Just like she used to wear everyday… Plus, it’s not even cold in the school. “Okay, I know something’s wrong” I say while laughing.
    “Leave me alone, I think Kyla and Joanne want you.” She says in a sarcastic tone.
    “What are you jealous?” I say in a snide tone.
    “Jealous? Are you kidding me Ava?” She lifts her head, she had been crying. “I would NEVER be jealous of them… or you. I wanted to make Emily mad, not ruin her life. I wanted to do this with you! Not get replaced by a couple of air heads and Ava? You didn’t replace Emily. You are the new Emily. I see you and Joanne and Kyla making fun of people all the time like them and Emily did. Ava, you are even dating her ex-boyfriend!”
    “Woah. Hey! James is too good for Emily, it was meant to be. And I cant help that the populars want me and not you! So go cry somewhere else I don’t want you in my lobby.”
    “Oh, so you own the school now? I don’t think so. You know what Ava, you never cared about me, you just used me until you could become popular again.”
    “Whatever.” I shrug. I really did care about Vanessa though… I still do, but I cant tell her that. Maybe I’ll call her tonight.
    “Yeah, whatever Ava.” She says as she gets up. “Just go f*** yourself, you and all the populars. I cant believe you were ever my best friend… and I hope all the guilt will eat you alive” She says then walks away, she didn’t even look back. She really means it. I cant believe what just happened. After a long day of school thinking about Vanessa, I get home. I greet my mom whose in the kitchen looking at the newspaper. “Hey Ava, sweetie?”
    “Yeah, mom?”
    “How’s Vanessa doing?”
    “How should I know?”
    “Well, I just read her mother’s obituary in the newspaper.”
    “What?!”
    “Yeah, her mother died Monday night around 11:30 pm in the hospital. Her mother had been suffering from cancer for a few months and it took a turn for the worst and it killed her.”
    That’s why Vanessa was upset today… and oh my, all that stuff I said to her… I treated her terrible… and her mother was everything to her. Vanessa only had her mother to rely on. Her mom was the one who helped Vanessa through her depression and suicidal behavior and actions. Oh my, Vanessa! Suicidal Actions? I have to go make sure she doesn’t do anything. “…and I hope all the guilt will eat you alive.” That’s the last thing Vanessa said to me before she left. And when she left she went out the school doors and she wasn’t in English class. Oh my, what did I do?
    “Mom, I have to go! NOW!” Vanessa lives only a few blocks away. I through my bag down and chuck my heels in the grass while I’m running down the driveway. I take off sprinting down the street, balling my eyes out. I have to save her. She’s my best friend. I get an adrenaline rush and feel myself moving faster. I have to save her. I have to save her. I have to save her.

  17. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 22, 2012 2:13pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 8~
    Monday arrives quicker than expected and this is the outfit I put together (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=51420810). My mom said she would give me and Vanessa a ride to school so we could show up and walk in together. We arrive to Vanessa’s house and Vanessa is walking out the door trying to get away from her mom’s grasp of hug. She looks wonderful. Vanessa put this together (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=51422387). We looked better than the popular group or Emily ever does. It was fantastic! We were ecstatic. My mom pulls up to the side of the school and says goodbye and told us she should be able to pick us both up today too. We both tell her goodbye and thank you. When we stepped out of the car it was like a scene in a movie. Like one of those slow motion scenes where all heads turn and stare in shock. Yeah well they were turning their heads in shock at us. I spotted Emily as I walk by, she was laughing with her friends. That was until she saw Vanessa and me; she dropped her purse in shock. I just turned towards Vanessa and laughed while pointing a finger towards Emily. Her face turned a shade of red immediately and she only stood there looking at her feet. Well, until she notices James running towards me. “Hey hottie!” James says to me. “You guys look amazing.” He finishes. “Thanks, we know.” I wink at him. All of a sudden I’m overwhelmed again with the feeling of popularity and something else. Something warm and assuring and good, that something was confidence. Confidence has been something I’ve lacked since the beginning of middle school. I didn’t feel like I had to make myself throw up or starve myself, I felt perfect just like this. “How are you James?” I ask. “Better now that you’re here.” He returns my gesture with a wink. “Oh really? And why’s that?” I speak flirtatiously. “Because… I wanted to ask you something…?” He responds unsure. “Ask me what?” I say to assure him to ask me. “Do you maybe want to go to a movie or something this Friday with me?” He asks while staring at his feet like a shy little boy. I always thought James was a cocky, overconfident, rude, mean, disrespectful, and ignorant quarterback of the football team. I mean he had to be if he was dating Emily. But, I had him all wrong and my judgment was mistaken. I guess that’s why the saying is ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’. “Of course I will.” I say to him with a welcoming smile. “Okay good, I will pick you up around 8?” He speaks more confidently while looking into my eyes instead of the ground. “Sounds good.” I reply. “But, I have to go for now, I’ll call you later.” I finish and start to walk away, but he quickly grabs my arm and turns me around. “Don’t you need my number first?” He asks as he writes it on my hand. “I guess that’d be helpful.” I laugh sarcastically. I quickly kiss his cheek and wave goodbye and continue walking with confidence. Emily’s mouth dropped farther than I’d ever seen before, she couldn’t believe it. Vanessa and I tried to withhold our excitement that I got a date, but inside we were that stereotypical excited school girl jumping up and down. James was a brown haired, blue eyed boy. He is tall and muscular and well, the quarterback of the school football team. James is 16 years old and has his driver’s license, awesome right? I was so happy. Basically, nobody is ever out of your league. Anything can happen. I never pictured the day that me, Ava Johanson (a nobody), would ever be going out on a date with James McHaley, the star quarterback and most popular guy at school. The bell rings and everyone hustles into class. I strut into class right before the bell rings with my head high in confidence and everyone stares at me in amazement. It was like I was famous. I find my seat right next to James, Emily’s old seat. Emily walks in after me and looked as if she had been crying. She looks at her seat, well my seat now and looked as if her whole world just crumbled. Her eyes scanned the room for an empty seat. The only empty seat was my old one. The old broken down desk in the back right corner of the room. The desk has graffiti written all over it, a mysterious sticky substance in the corner, and is next to a million cobwebs that the janitors always seem to miss. Sometimes a spider would appear crawling across my desk. The spiders seemed to be the only friends I used to have in that class. This new life I’m living is amazing.

  18. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2012 1:06pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 7~
    When we wake up in the morning, Vanessa and I both just throw on a tank top and a pair of sweatpants. My mom agreed to pay for Vanessa to get her hair done and few new outfits. Vanessa is always so thankful of my mother buying her so much, all the time, but my mom doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal because I’m an only child so she has extra cash often. We start out by going to the hair salon. Vanessa and I look through the hairstyle and hair color books. After about a half an hour of looking through books we both decide on what it is that we want, this is our finished hairstyle and makeup look… (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=51418172). We both love it. I am now officially blonde and Vanessa has a light brownish colored hair. Now to the super mall. Once we arrive we go to the girliest store we see. We walk in and are overwhelmed with bright pinks and purples. But, I remember that I’m doing this to not let Emily push around anymore, I’m doing this for James, I’m doing this for Camille. We look around and I’m picking a few things off the shelves, Vanessa is too. My mom is once again putting several things on each of her arms for both Vanessa and me. We wait in line at the dressing rooms until it’s finally our turns. My mother hands us each a pile of clothes and we try stuff on. We both end up buying quite a few different outfits to try out this school week. We return to the car after spending a couple hundred dollars. We drop of Vanessa and her bags of clothes and shoes at her house. Her mother once again greets her at the door with a smile and a hello and looks amazed by her beauteous daughter. She keeps running her fingers through Vanessa’s new hair and looks so happy. Vanessa looks happy too. I can’t wait for Monday. We will look amazing!

  19. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2012 12:28pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 6~
    After about 20 minutes of sitting there in silence crying with James, Vanessa comes to find me. “Ava?” She asks. I can see a shadowed figure standing next to the corner of the building. “Yeah, I’m over here.” I reply. “Are you okay?” She asks concerned of my well-being. “Yes, I’m okay, I’ll be there in a second.”
    “Okay, well your mother is going to be here any minute.” “Okay.” I respond. I cant believe that the dance was already over. For the most part I had a great time and I figured out who James really is. He isn’t cruel hearted like Emily, but actually quite a nice characterized person. I turn towards James and look him in the eyes.
    “I have to go now, are you going to be okay?” I ask him. He returns his eyes directly into mine. “I’m going to be fine, Ava, the real question is, are you?” I’m shocked by his concern.
    “Yeah, James, I think I will be fine, now.”
    “Like I said, don’t let Emily push you over the edge. Stand up to her, and show her that you are better than her on so many levels, because Ava, when you try to look good, your natural beauty comes out with your great personality and Emily hates it, because she cant be as perfect.”
    “I will. I will try to be more girlish and I’ll show my beauty and I’ll try to recover from my eating disorders, it’ll just be hard.”
    “I know it will be, remember? I watched my sister go through it. I just want you to have a happy ending.”
    “I will, I wont let Emily control me anymore.”
    James leans in to hug me and as we hug he whispers into my ear, “And whenever you are feeling insecure about yourself, always remember that you’re beautiful. And if it ever gets too bad, you’ll always have me to catch you. Call me anytime you need to, I’ll give you my number Monday at school.” It was the longest hug of my life. And it was so sincere. I slowly stand up, James and I say goodbye to each other and I walk towards Vanessa. Once I get to Vanessa, I see my mother’s car pull up. We both get into the car. “So, how was it?” My mother greets me with the question. “It was actually really fun.” I say. “I agree.” Vanessa assures my answer. My mom looked so happy, she couldn’t believe it. “And mom, I have a new idea for my hair.”
    “Yeah? What’s that?”
    “Well before I wanted to dip dye my hair a bunch of different colors, but-”
    “Really?” My mother interrupts me is a discontent tone.
    “BUT, instead I’m going to try something a little more girlish.”
    “Really!?” She says in a happier cheery tone.
    “Mhm, also do you think you could take me shopping for a few new outfits?”
    “Of course!” She is so excited.
    Vanessa is sleeping over tonight, so we don’t have to drop her off. Once we get home, Vanessa and I change into pajamas and go to my bedroom.
    “So, why’d you leave in a rush at the dance to go outside?”
    “I… umm… I was talking to James, him and Emily broke up.”
    “Oh…” She replies confused. I told Vanessa the complete story about the break up, the things James said about me and about Vanessa and the story about his sister Camille, and about our goodbyes. She was shocked about all of it, and she wants to join me in standing up against Emily and her popularity snobs. I invite Vanessa to come shopping and to the hair dressers with my mom and I. She calls her parents and they give her permission so she accepts. Vanessa and I drift off to sleep after an exhausting night that we’ll remember forever, mostly because it’s the first night that neither of us cried ourselves to sleep.

  20. lamusicaesmivida lamusicaesmivida
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2012 9:41pm UTC
    Torment
    ~Chapter 5~
    I walk out of the gym, Vanessa watching every step. I head outside, I look every which way. Until, I hear a man weeping. He’s crying. I start slowly jogging in my heels towards the noise. I peak around the corner of the building. It’s James. I walk around the corner, quietly so he cant hear me. I approach him from behind. “James?” I ask in a whispering tone. “What?” He responds in a voice that he is clearly making to make it not sound like he’s crying as he half turns his head. I didn’t fall for it.
    “Why are you crying?” I ask as I sit down on a rock next to him.
    “I’m not, go away Ava.” He sounds like a little kid. I try to use a comforting voice.
    “You can tell me why you’re crying, trust me.”
    “I can’t trust anyone, not even my own girlfriend, ex-girlfriend.” He corrects himself.
    “Well, you can trust me, what’s wrong?”
    “I broke up with Emily.”
    “And that’s why you’re crying, if I were you, I’d throw a party.”
    He snickers, “No, that’s not why at all, I’m glad I broke up with her.”
    “Oh, then why?”
    “You tell me something first.”
    “Okay, what?”
    “Why aren’t you and Emily friends anymore, what happened?” I guess that’s the million dollar question for everyone.
    “I don’t know.” I simply respond. “We just aren’t, I guess.”
    “Oh.” He murmurs in a low tone.
    “So, what’s wrong with you?”
    “It’s just, I see Emily make fun of so many people. She’s such a bully. Especially to you and Vanessa, and you guys don’t deserve it. I always try to tell Emily to stop, but she doesn’t ever! She says that everyone deserves it. Well, no one deserves it, no one. You don’t deserve it, Vanessa doesn’t deserve it, my sister Camille didn’t deserve it.”
    “You have a sister? That Emily bullied?”
    “No, Emily didn’t bully her, other kids did, and I had a sister.”
    “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know… What happened to her? If you don’t mind me asking?”
    “Camille was constantly bullied by her classmates. About her weight, even though she was perfectly skinny. She became anorexic, like you.”
    Those words kind of stung me even though he didn’t mean it in that way.
    “Well, I was 12 years old and Camille had just turned 16, my family and I found out about her eating disorder and sent her away to get help, because she became to be only 90 pounds. When she finally came home a few months later, she looked like her old self. She was happy and at a good weight and she looked… good. Camille returned to school that month and the bullying was worse than ever. Everyone knew about her anorexia and how she left to recover and they used that against her. They kept calling her fat and saying things like Emily says to you. Well, Camille fell back into her old habits of not eating. And this time she started using diet pills too. I even found her taking some one day when I walked into her room and she dumped them on the floor in shock that I saw her. My face dropped. I still remember that day perfectly. Camille grabbed me and threw me on to her bed. She said, ‘Okay, listen Jimmy…’ That’s what she used to call me. ‘…you can’t tell mom and dad, you promise?’ ‘Why can’t I tell them, you’re not supposed to be taking those!’ ‘I know, Jimmy, but I have to, okay? Promise me?’ ‘Camille you’re going to hurt yourself!’ I started to cry. ‘Stop crying Jimmy, no I won’t, don’t tell mom or dad though. Promise me Jimmy!’ She sounded so desperate, like an ex-drug addict getting caught doing them again. ‘Okay, Camille, I won’t. I love you.’ ‘I love you too Jimmy, but please leave me alone for now we will watch a movie together tonight, okay?’ ‘Mhm.’ I leave her room. Later that night we did watch a movie, but I fell asleep during it. I woke up a little when Camille kissed my forehead. Then my dad brought me to my bed. Camille was too weak to bring me. Little did I know that would be the last time I saw Camille, alive anyways. Camille got picked on worse than ever before the next day at school. Camille drove home during lunch break and downed the rest of her bottle of diet pills. I got home a few hours later off the bus and found her there in the bathroom with a note saying she loved us but couldn’t take the bullying anymore and that she’s sorry. I cried and cried and cried constantly for weeks after. And as you can see I still do. And I just don’t want Emily pushing someone over the edge like the classmates did to Camille. I don’t want the same thing to happen to someone like you or Vanessa. And the worst part, after Camille’s death all her classmates said was… ‘We loved her so much.’ ‘This is purely tragic.’ ‘We have no idea why she would do it?’ ‘She was so beautiful.’ ‘She’s another angel that went too soon.’ Not to mention that most of these comments came from the people that bullied Camille the most. All of them should go to jail, but they don’t. They get to live the rest of their stupid little lives. Unlike Camille who was tormented, yet still go the short end of the stick.”
    “Oh my, I had no idea, James. I’m so sorry.”
    “Don’t let Emily do these things to you. Stand up to her and show her that you are better, because you are Ava.”
    I just look down in tears.
    “You are.” He repeats. And we both just sit there in silence. Nothing but the sound of tears dripping down our faces.

:)

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