kristabff's Quotes

kristabff
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 10:03pm UTC

When i saw the new
'contest lame pun' thing my face brightened up so much it was like someone turned a lamepun

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 183 points

kristabff
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 9:57pm UTC

Tonight my family and I
were sitting in front of the tv talking about how my cousin is having another child (she already has a boy) and it's going to be another boy and i was like "Nooo i wish it was a girl not another boy!! It would have been cuter to have an older brother and younger sister! Haven't the spérm heard of the term 'ladies first' god so rude" and my family laughed really hard and now i am so pleased and happy like guys this is amazing lol

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 79 points

kristabff
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 4:49pm UTC

If you ever feel hot
just remember that i am satan so i'm hotter than u sorry not sorry

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 141 points

kristabff
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 4:45pm UTC

midnight more like 3 hours before i go to bed

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 111 points

kristabff
posted a quote
October 1, 2013 7:02pm UTC

My thoughts at school.
Science teacher: ...and then he discovered electrons by using the cathode ray tube!
Me: cathode ray tube
Me: cathode ray
Me: cathode
Me: cathode
Me: CATS
Me: wait i'm hungry
Me: don't you dare tell me to wait you female puppy
Me: oh wait which question do you want me to answer??

👍 this is good · read the comments · 125 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 28, 2013 7:56pm UTC

"sick ride" i say as my friend's motorcycle coughed with smoke when starting up

👍 this is good · read the comments · 111 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 28, 2013 7:50pm UTC

In 20 years:
Winning candidate for president: woahh so like i just won this election lol hashtag swag
brb let me get my phone i'm gonna instagram and tweet this
Losing candidate for president: wTF OMFG
HOW COULD YOU PICK THEM
I CANT EVEN
I DESERVE THIS
I MEAN HE CANT EVEN SPELL
AND I HAVE MORE FOLLOWERS THAN HIM ON TWITTER
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS AN OUTRAGE IM TAKING OFF MY "GOVERNMENT ∞" TATTOO RN

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 134 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 22, 2013 12:35pm UTC

Relax!
Uh oh, there was an error when we tried to add a boyfriend to your life. Please try again.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 416 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 21, 2013 9:06pm UTC

People who are born in 1999
are cooler than everyone else because before we were born we were all like "Woah let's see how close we can get to the 2000's without actually being born in 2000's" yeah we like to live our lives on the edge for sure. risk takers. bow down to us. bow down to me.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 234 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 20, 2013 7:43pm UTC

"haha lol omg"
- a biography by me

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 128 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 20, 2013 7:41pm UTC

The golden rule is to treat
others the way you want to be treated. So, before you click that unfollow button on my page, think: "How would I like it if she unfollowed me?" The answer is not so good, i mean thats one less follower, no one wants that.
please don't unfollow me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 134 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 8:33pm UTC

This kid in my grade posted
a picture of his mcdonald's cup with two straws on Instgram and he wrote:
"McDonalds Logic: gives you two straws when you order one drink"
and this other kid wrote underneath that caption:
"McDonalds Logic: gives you two chins when you order one Big Mac"
and i'm dEAD HOLY CRAP HAHA

👍 this is good · read the comments · 283 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 5:52pm UTC

But you don't understand
how hard it is,
waking up everyday,
looking in the mirror, and thinking,
"wow, i just wanna bang someone rn lol"
it's hard.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 176 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 13, 2013 9:30pm UTC

Me praying to god: daddy, i want another pony

👍 this is good · read the comments · 98 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 13, 2013 9:28pm UTC

hey dude i'm actually rly hot if u throw me into the sun

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 175 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 6:21pm UTC

I am so not a nerd!!
I can promise you, i'm totally √.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 110 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 5:24pm UTC

Gymnasts are so rude.
They're always flipping people off.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 141 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 5:22pm UTC

does anyone else tilt their paper nearly upside down while writing or is that just me ??

👍 this is good · read the comments · 271 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 7, 2013 9:20pm UTC

Attractive guy: f/ck you
Me: yay let's go

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 116 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 6, 2013 6:49pm UTC

THIS IS ACTUALLY THE CUTEST
MUSIC VIDEO EVER OH MY GOD?? THESE LITTLE KIDS MADE A MUSIC VIDEO AND EVERYONE FUNDED THEM AND IT'S NOT THAT BAD AWWWWWW: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YLy4j8EZIk
you can catch me and my crew eatin' hot cheetos and taki's.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 20 points

Witty Profiles

kristabff