All i want to do is vent.
My mom never drank til I turned 14 atleast from what I knew.
She is a binge drinker. She drinks and drinks and drinks and sometiems blames me. I know its not true but she wants her drinking to be everyone elses fault but hers because shes so upset and regrets everything she did once shes sober. She targets people. Like me, shes destroyed my room, smashed my things and has even hit me. It got so bad one time I used my strength against her. I'm alot bigger than my mother, and I ended up breaking three of her ribs. She once told me when she was drinking and completely loaded, not to mention came to my school to tell me that if I were to come home that night, she's kill me with her own two hands. I'm going to be nineteen in a month. And I know that may be hard to beleive. I've dealt with this for five years. My family doesn't know shes on the booze again and if I were to tell them to get her help, she would tell them ive smoked pot. And not just the occasional doob, but I quit for a while now to try and be there for mental support. She doesn't care about life anymore. She doesn't care if she dies. And I'm almost at that point where I don't know why I help her. I have no kids. I've already raised my now 10 year old brother pretty much because she was never home always gambling because his dad was a drunk and she disliked him that much she ignored the fact they were together. So ever since I was 9, I have been taking care of my now 20 yr old sister, brother and myself. And now my mother. I don't have children. I just want my childhood back. That will never happen. So I put on a front, act as happy as possible. I also drink myself. But not to that extent. I just don't understand, I'm alot like my mother which I am proud of. Atleast like the mother, I remember who was actually there for me. I just want my mom back. Not whoever this drunk is. -killmeryan.
killmeryan