justkiddiing

justkiddiing
posted a quote
October 5, 2014 5:57pm UTC

I knew it was temporary
I knew it was for then
and every stop along the way from 1984 to today has been a temporary place
and I guess that makes me wise or something
or maybe it makes me hurt
either way it makes me

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
October 2, 2014 2:34pm UTC

What traces have I left
on all the bodies I have held?
Do they remember my mouth?
Let them forget.
I dream of none of them.
I dream of my mother and cats.
I dream of danger and hunger.
I dream my dying.
What prints do we leave
on old lovers? Do they wash
off or wear down? Sometimes
they turn up expecting
that I will still be the girl
they bedded, maybe they still
see her smooth and willing.
They find only me
like a old oak rooted deep,
like a cat who has learned
where to find her food
and where she will only starve.

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
October 1, 2014 3:50pm UTC

isn't it typically me
to fall inlove
with empty spaces?
tell me it's not true
that you can see it in my eyes
the time's I'm with you
but you haven't seen my eyes
when I tell about your absence
to my best friends
.
tell me you see my happiness
when I'm in your arms
and smell like honey
but you haven't seen how I enjoy
making art out of loneliness
aken love to my dispair
tell me you love me and missed me
and I'll tell you how I've missed you
and love you

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
October 1, 2014 12:14pm UTC

I’m afraid of
a lot of things,
but mostly,
most sincerely,
I am afraid of
being completely
unraveled by you,
and you finding nothing
you want in here.

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 30, 2014 1:28pm UTC

when I'm in a boy's arms
I write with my finger on his shoulder
stay
and they never do
they come back
when I've vried in my bed
when I've cooked for one
when I've layed in another bed
they come back
and wisper: you're magic
and I smile
the way girls like me do
I'm not maic
I'm broken
and I'm still writing
stay

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 30, 2014 12:58pm UTC

Life always gets good again.
No matter how bad anything gets,
it will be good again.
This is a thing I know.
Or at least I know it sometimes…
usually during the good times,
of course.

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 26, 2014 10:34am UTC

What does it feel like?
Setteling for something that's not really it?
Saying without real love?
Am I this special if I don't settle for anything less then perfect?
And here I am complaining about loneliness,
but is the given alternative better?
Being alone is hard but it seems easier than all the hoping,
and staying.
This is how I hold myself.
This is how I live with empty hands,
just touching things left and right,
thinking "it's not that soft after all"

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 16, 2014 4:14pm UTC

you
you think you can run into my life
turn it around and smile
like it's a white flag
but I feel napalm falling down
and I raise my voice to get over the flames
but you don't see them so you
just look at me like a modren piece of art
you will come back in hopes for explination
I won't give it to you
dare you to shrug your houldes
and you do because you
do not undertand my anger
and the fire is closing me in
andI can only see red
and I know you will come back
but you won't
just
yet
so I wait
for the next airstike, or landmine
I wear full armor and
you seem to have forgotten
so I grow tired of carrying it around
and I still see you as danger, playng mental games
and you see me as everchanging artwork
not realising you're hoding the brush yourself
and I keep waiting with silent breath and pounding heart
can't afford to close these crying eyes
and I wonder if you're in a shelter laughing at me
or a café sipping wine
wondering about some book
and never think
about
me

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 14, 2014 7:25pm UTC

I have to burry my poems
this has gone on for too long
and I won't have it anymore
no more calling it my hobby
no more taking up my nights
I have to burry my poems
if I just found the right spot
no matter what waste it was
waving goodbye is necesary for healing
I can't just close the door behind me
this has just been too much
I have to find the right spot
So I will make a raft of newspapers
that brought me news that touched my heart
and wave them in like they could also
send a message, change a life
send it to the oean that became the grave
of men, both good and bad
I don't think it is worth it
So I will shred them into pieces
and feed them to the saharah winds
untill they mingle with the sand
those tiny rocks that where majestic one day
until they crumbled, and now stumble a coreography
untamable representing the eternity, cut up but not broken
this is not worth it
How about my own home land
the mossy grounds where my home stands
they where born here, and may they die here
young things never stood a chance
it's some rich soil, moist but sunny
maybe it even made them grow
I'll give them a little more life here
they might become good, you never know

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 11, 2014 5:12am UTC

when I die
I'll give my room back to my parents
I'm sorry to offer empty space you asked to fill
I'll give my computer and clothes to my sister
you don't have to be jealous anymore, don't become sad
I'll give every word I've ever written to the whole world
my voice was aways loud, I hope you still listen
I'll give my schoolfriends liqour
I couldn't make it but start the party without me
I'll give my teachers my books
I know I couldn't read them in class, I did anyway, there's a reason, find it
I'll give my crush my cellphone
now you know how much I talked and tought about you
but the best part is for my ex boyfriend
you where the only one who ever got all of me
I give you my skin you tought was the softest
my lips you tought where the sweetest
my frekles that appeared in summer
I give you the light that could dance in my eyes
you've had those things along
they will always be yours

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 10, 2014 9:59am UTC

a day in the life of a man that makes me sick
wake up
drink coffee that has traveled more than you
out of a mug that has traveled more than you
in your clothes that have traveled more than you
globalisation is a beautiful thing
it comes with a price that you don't have to pay
go to work,
get in your international car,
maybe not, let's take the train,
think about the environment
your buissiness cares about the environment
it posted about it on twitter
so you get a bonus if you get there by train
prettend you don't see the faces of
the homeless man or woman or child
they will steal your well earned money
keep a straigt face that refuses to make eye contact
work hard, like the functioning citicen you are
go home, pretend they're not there
maybe then they'll dissapear
read the paper
the headlines say something about high unemployment
read the stock pages, the crisis hurts everyone
notice an opinion of a social worker
raging about yet another suicide of a lowlife
she blames the system that worked so good for you
get mad, she's probably payed by your tax money
to help people that should just help themselves
write an angry comment online
about pacifisctic left people,
and how everybody can get anywhere with hard work
smile when you press enter
kiss your wife, go on with your life
and tomorrow you will wake up again
and I will ask you when will you wake up?

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 9, 2014 10:07am UTC

I've got more answers than I've got questions
so I pick them out with trowing darts
let fate make up for a lack of talent
I hope they work together
because it's the only way to get anywhere
yes, I know that's a lie
but I swore I'd stop babeling about
love and it's swooping wings
how it's the rebel that ignores the rules
makes the rules and carries it all
in style

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 8, 2014 6:06am UTC

please remember you're no part of a fairy tale
not a damsel in destress
there's no villan to blame
nobody gave you a cursed apple
you have to be your own hero
please remeber that pinoccio wanted to be a real boy
and rapunzel wanted to walk in the woods
and you can walk in the woods
you can wake up without anybody kissing you
the real magic is happening in this world
pease remember you can walk in someone's life yourself
no need to marry the first man walking into your life
because those guys love their girls voiceless
please know better than that
don't you ever settle for a prince

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 7, 2014 10:51am UTC

If I don't think about myself, who will?
if I don't think about others, why live?

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 6, 2014 12:21pm UTC

I'll tell you about the time that I returned home late at night and this guy followed me
asked me if I had a boyfriend, rightfuly acused me of lieing when I said yes
stil asking for a kiss when I went too far into the pupblic space
come on, just on the cheek, it's no big deal
I'll tell you about the time I waited for my friend who was in the bathroom
when I was bothered by some drunk guy who refused to listen when I told him to leave
left imediatly when another male told him to
I had to say thank you, it's the only time my voice get's heard
I'll tel you about all the times that honey, sweety , sugar
changed into b*tch with just one no
you where ugly anyways
but because you're a critical individual, a scientist
you want proof and altough I can name all those of situations
you've never seen one so truth be told
who's lieing here?
so you look surprised when I take a longer route home when it's dark
so you turn your eyes when say no to that offered drink
so you laugh when I take pants intead of that fun skirt
still you look at statistics like one out of five and question
how many where asking for it
not blaming anyone, just critical thinking
that's important right? how else will we evolve as a society
you tell these things too kids
too our future. How can we evolve as a society?
I'll tell you about the time when I was only fourteen
way to young to know, but knowledge wouldn't have saved me
and neither would you beause you're till asking questions
while we've seen the lesson often enough
way too much

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
September 3, 2014 8:17am UTC

Somebody told me I was a prayer being answered
while they didn't even know what they where asking for
they asked for answers so treated me like an enceclopedia
they asked for love so they treated me like a puppy
they asked for freedom so they treated me like vacation
Like my answers should be textbook
Somebody told me I couldn't bend
needed to follow my own path so badly I didn't look up when anybody spoke my name
So I asked them questions they never came up with
So I stepped back and showed them mirrors
so I left them grasping for air, wishing they could just wake up to the old routine again
And they don't know wheter they've been kissed or tortured
Somebody told me I should be soft
listening, head up, eyes open
somebody told me to be stong
straight shoulders, piercing eyes, hard words
my mother told me to be myself
and I have been
every day

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
August 28, 2014 10:53am UTC

why weep over a part of life
the whole of it calls for tears

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
August 28, 2014 6:08am UTC

heavy books
we are taught in school
that the average person
has nothing important to say,
that only the great minds should be studied,
that only those who
have been wounded by
god in the heart and mind
should be memorized
and recited
but
i have heard stray
comments
from faceless
voices
while waiting for coffee
or buying gum,
off-handed lines
that lift me
higher than
the heaviest
books

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
August 18, 2014 4:50pm UTC

I told you I'm not okay
and I wanted to tell you it's the people
but I said it's the weather
and I know it's dark outside but nobody ever lights up my days
I wanted to tell you it's this loneliness
that creeps inside my bones
it's just under my skin but I can't cut it out
and I can't let you in
I told you about global warming
about war, about hunger, about r*pe
but even though I plead loud I care more
about myself and some shelter and a hug
I wanted to tell you all of this
you told me I should take care of myself
and if I couldn't somebody else should
it's not that I don't know this
but how do you trow yourself in someones arms
while people stab backs and bomb homes
how can I rebel when I've build my own home
I've always learned to do it alone

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justkiddiing
posted a quote
August 17, 2014 7:40am UTC

It’s a hungry morning when I don’t see
her
more and more I love her and drink wine
more

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