jordankimberly21

Status: Talk to me? c:

Member Since: 1 Jun 2011 04:13pm

Last Seen: 9 Mar 2016 07:10pm

Birthday: December 28

Location: San Diego, CA

Gender: F

user id: 179237

540 Quotes
10,341 Favorites
319 Following
227 Followers
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Hi, my name is Jordan but you can call me tonight. (; I've been alive for 15 years, & I escaped from my mother’s womb on December 28. I’m not single, I’m plural. But still not in a relationship. *sigh* I’m incredibly lonely. If i asked you to follow me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question? c: anyway, if you need to talk, I’m a pretty good listener. (: I live in San Diego, California. Nonexistent winters and permanent tans. d: But yeah, I like to make new friends so talk to me maybe? (:

me = running + exercise + food + bubble wrap

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i want to die. but you can't
see this because it is invisible. like me.

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 24, 2012 8:24pm UTC

77% of people
don't know the opposite of these words;
1. Always
2. Coming
3. From
4. Take
5. Me
6. Down
never going to give you up

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 23 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 23, 2012 5:54pm UTC

romeo: hey i just met you.
romeo: and this is crazy.
romeo: but i saw you at your dad's party that i wasn't supposed to attend and i thought you were pretty cute so i followed you and we kissed but then your nanny called you away and i found out you were a capulet and got bummed so i sneaked into your back yard in the middle of the night and climbed your balcony uninvited to profess my undying love after an hour even though i wanted to bone rosaline like two scenes ago.
romeo: so marry me maybe.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 23, 2012 3:23pm UTC

Toaster: I want you inside of me.
Bread: That's hot.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 51 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 23, 2012 2:01pm UTC

If you were a season, you would be summer. No class.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 23, 2012 2:18am UTC

I want to buy a Volkswagon Bug. Not because I actually want one, but because I will be able to drive around all day with the satisfaction of knowing that I am the reason some poor shmoe is getting punched.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 22, 2012 5:24pm UTC

google
'do a barrel roll'
and then come back
and tell me how
awesome it was.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 22, 2012 1:05am UTC

I'm not saying
that you're ugly. It's just
that Notre Dame needs
their hunchback
to come home.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 16, 2012 7:43pm UTC

be the sort of person that when people see you wearing army pants and flip flops, they go buy army pants and flip flops.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 16, 2012 7:36pm UTC

[ a thousand words ]
>>wouldn't bring you back<<
--------> I know because I've tried.
Neither would<-------
a thousand tears,
I know because I've cried.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 16, 2012 4:18pm UTC

me at school: how do I hold a pencil
me at school: when can I eat
me at school: dafuq is this
me at school: dafuq is that
me at school: don't look at me peasants
me at school: when am I ever going to need this
me at school: are there any hot, new, single guys with low standards?
me at school: I'd rather be on witty.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 12, 2012 8:42pm UTC

When I meet
high quality people,
I tend to avoid talking to them
at all costs because
once I start talking
it all goes downhill from there.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 11, 2012 9:16pm UTC

a pop group: one direction
a bisexual pop group: both directions
a pansexual pop group: all directions
an asexual pop group: no directions
a questioning pop group: which direction
*no hate. I have nothing against one direction, bisexuals, pansexuals, asexuals, etc
just thought this was hilarious.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 11, 2012 8:51am UTC

A witty post a day keeps the social life away.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 23 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 10, 2012 11:09pm UTC

"Oh darling, I missed you!" She cried as she fired the gun again.
-if you're good with grammar, you'll understand-

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 10, 2012 6:59pm UTC

If a poison goes past its expiration date does it get more toxic or less toxic?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 40 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 9, 2012 12:16pm UTC

Hand Sanitizer: *burns*
Me: *dies*
Me: Thanks, I didn't know I had a cut there

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 25 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 9, 2012 12:24am UTC

oh darling,
let's be adventurers.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 8, 2012 9:49pm UTC

When a girl stops crying over you, that means someone else is making her smile.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 42 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 8, 2012 3:45pm UTC

Loving someone who doesn't love you is like waiting for a ship at the airport.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 145 points

jordankimberly21
posted a quote
September 6, 2012 10:02pm UTC

Me: Imagine having a boyfriend that would take you to concerts.
Me: Or just a boyfriend.
Me: Or just concert tickets.
Me: Or concert tickets to see my boyfriend.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 476 points

Witty Profiles

jordankimberly21