jessdillon1234's Favorites

jessdillon1234

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
September 2, 2013 7:04pm UTC

Imagine if twitter existed in the 1800s. Abe Lincoln tweeting stuff like,
"This play sucks. Someone shoot me."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 190 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
August 15, 2013 11:34pm UTC

I know the life story of Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe
better than I know my own.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 143 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 7, 2013 2:35pm UTC

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard all of them the ground begins to rumble and 3 billion boys pour in over the hills in an huge boy tsunami, eclipsing the sun, destroying everything in their path. the entire city is razed to the ground. The screams of boys being crushed to death among the fray combines into a deafening roar of suffering. I stare at my milkshake with hollow, haunted eyes. What have I done.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 149 points

kelly*
posted a quote
August 7, 2013 4:09am UTC

the bags under my eyes are designer

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 76 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
August 7, 2013 2:58pm UTC

If you're going to unfollow me, you have to sing all 6 minutes 25 seconds of Goodbye Love to me. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 104 points

DeathOfASon

posted a quote
August 7, 2013 12:11pm UTC

i think rupert grint is the only one who truly understand the meaning of being a celebrity
he bought an ice cream truck
he has two donkeys named shakespeare and pandora (and minature pigs!)
he built a mini ice-rink
a Mini fitted with special Lamborghini doors
a hovercraft
he’s got unicycles and banjos
and he bought a coin-operated fairground fortune-telling machine
tell me he isn’t living the life

👍 this is good · read the comments · 182 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
August 7, 2013 10:42am UTC

Brother: Yo momma so stupid, she was locked in a mattress store and fell asleep on the floor.
Other Brother: Yo momma so fat, when she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
Mom: Yo momma so stupid, she got pregnant four times and didn't put any of them up for adoption

👍 this is good · read the comments · 163 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
August 6, 2013 11:55pm UTC

So, me and my brother are twins. Once, I was talking to him and he got
a fact wrong on something really obvious so I said, "Cameron, you're 13. You should have gotten that one right." But he isn't 13, he's 15--almost 16--and if that doesn't show you how bad my memory is then I don't know what will.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 125 points

Fireiscatching
posted a quote
August 5, 2013 4:10pm UTC

"Imagine reading
a book of every conversation where people have spoken of you."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 147 points

WiFi
posted a quote
August 5, 2013 2:48pm UTC

I JUST REALISED SOMETHING
SIRI BACKWORDS IS
IRIS AKA PART OF THE EYE
IPHONE
EYEPHONE
IS THIS SOME ILLUMANTI STUFF

👍 this is good · read the comments · 189 points

bye*
posted a quote
August 5, 2013 5:45pm UTC

My friend and her bf just broke up and she called me crying and I was all like “You’re going to fall in love so many times before you find the one you’ll be with forever. So think of it this way; you’re one heartbreak closer to happily ever after." and I think she thought I was being deep and insightful, but really I was quoting wizards of waverly place

👍 this is good · read the comments · 463 points

kristabff
posted a quote
July 30, 2013 6:36pm UTC

Once upon a time there were 3
girls named Ariana Rachael and Krista. Ariana was in love with Logan Lerman, Rachael was in love with Alex Turner and Krista was in love with Dan Howell
one day they all died because they did the co.n.dom challenge and the co.n.dom got stuck in their nose and they couldn't breathe the end

👍 this is good · read the comments · 139 points

dolph*
posted a quote
July 30, 2013 1:56pm UTC

sorry but my mom wants to talk to your mom first before i can give you a blow'job

👍 this is good · read the comments · 131 points

happiest*
posted a quote
July 30, 2013 2:45pm UTC

miley's hairdresser: you sure

👍 this is good · read the comments · 360 points

WhenAllElseFails
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 9:24pm UTC

Waitress: Hi, I'm Eva, and I'll be taking care of you all tonight!
Waitress: *walks over to another table* Hi, I'm Eva, and I'll be taking care of you all tonight!
Me: I thought what we had was special

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 48 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
July 29, 2013 2:20pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 175 points

happiest*
posted a quote
July 29, 2013 2:44pm UTC

Can we just take a minute to appreciate Pringles for never lying to us about the amount of chips we’re getting when we open the can

👍 this is good · read the comments · 260 points

gab*
posted a quote
July 29, 2013 1:36am UTC

PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH AT ME
OR HATE ME FOR THIS BUT before i ever heard of the song "radioactive" i thought imagine dragons was some sort of virtual website for kids. maybe dress up your own dragon, customize it and sorts. give it a name. have a home for you and your dragon. battle with other dragons. earn points and rewards. show off your medals. having to get a "grownup's permission" to pay for a membership. you know, imagine dragons.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 108 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 7:59pm UTC

Just so you know, the upside down cross is not a satanic cross.
It is St. Peter's cross. It is not disrespectful to Christianity. The reason the cross is upside down is because St. Peter was crucified upside down because he felt that he was unworthy of dying in the same manner of Jesus Christ. Thus St. Peter's cross demonstrates humility before Christ and is still used for that purpose by some Christians. It got popularized as a way as disrespecting the church, but in fact it's
extra super duper respectful.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 92 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 197 points

Witty Profiles

jessdillon1234