jazzyspazzy's Favorites

xHello
posted a quote
July 25, 2012 5:52pm UTC

Dear wh0res,
There's plenty of fish in the sea,
so stay the f/ck away from my fish.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 834 points

TVQuotes
posted a quote
July 25, 2012 2:31pm UTC

Spongebob #5
Patrick: "I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, we wumbo, wumboing, wumbology, they study of wumbo...come on Spongebob, this is first grade!"
Follow me I follow back~

👍 this is good · read the comments · 698 points

neversaynever16
posted a quote
July 25, 2012 7:43pm UTC

format by neversaynever16
When you
don't know how to pronounce a character's name in a book, so you just substitute your own jibberish word in your
head.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1367 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 25, 2012 1:23pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 867 points

hermione23katniss
posted a quote
July 25, 2012 3:06pm UTC

I feel so bad for women competing
in the olympics while on their period.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1889 points

Starcrossed*
posted a quote
July 24, 2012 8:00pm UTC

Boy: Periods aren't that bad.
Me:
Boy:
Me:
Boy:
Me: No uterus, no opinion.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points

TheGirlWhoLived
posted a quote
July 25, 2012 4:42pm UTC

They say
The right boy will come one day
.
.
.
I think mine's been hit by a truck.
nmq,nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 385 points

superfish12
posted a quote
July 25, 2012 10:40pm UTC

my parents: why don't you hang out with your friends?
me: because you won't buy me plane tickets to go visit them
nmf/q

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 198 points

AwesomeUsername
posted a quote
July 26, 2012 12:53am UTC

That Awkward Moment
when the best love quotes
are from Winnie the Pooh.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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伤*
posted a quote
July 26, 2012 10:00am UTC

spread your wings
my little butterfly
(OneDirection)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 36 points

str0ng
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 12:03pm UTC

OMG, Witty just changed!
Rest In Peace, Old Witty.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 704 points

kylaz323
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 11:13am UTC

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you(:
Awwww<3
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head(;

👍 this is good · read the comments · 712 points

ImOnlyATeen
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 7:14pm UTC

me: why are those guys staring at me?
me:is there something on my face?
me:is there something on my shirt?
me:they're probably laughing at how ugly i am.
me:they probably find it amusing how fat i am.
friend:maybe they think you're cute.
me:are you stupid or something?
tumblr.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2205 points

tibbsxoxo
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 4:04pm UTC

Teacher: The test is very easy.
Me: Sure it is bit.ch, you already know the answers.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1188 points

OneDirectionQuotes
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 3:26pm UTC

2 years.
1 album.
18 songs.
1 brit.
3 TCAs
1 Documentary.
3 world records
1 tour
Millions of fans.
Ladies and gentlemen
One Direction.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1026 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 7:34pm UTC

Me in the shower:
Me: *turns water on*
Me: *grabs phone*
Me: *sits in the bathroom on witty for 7 minutes*
Me: *checks time*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: oh chiz
Me: *gets in shower*
Me: HOLY JEEEEZEZ OHMYGAWWWSH MY FOOT IS BURNING LIKE SHAWTY ON THE DANCE FLOOR
Me: *jumps out and turns hot water down*
Me: ahh, this'll be better
Me: *steps in shower once again*
Me: COLD COLD COLD ASDFGHJKL ITS SO COLD IS THIS FUUCKING ANTARCTICA OW OW OW OW OWWWW
Me: *turns hot water up a teeeeeeeeeeny tiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit*
Me: okay, this will work.
Me: holy crap it actually worked
Me: ahhhhhhhhhhhh
Me: NEVERMIND I'LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOOOUUUUU!
Me: ok seriously, gotta get clean
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: oh right, soap.
Me: *scrubbing arms and legs*
Me: omg wtf why am i so hairy
Me: lol jk, i'm a dude of course i'm hairy!
Me: *washes hair*
Me: *washes face*
Me: *drops shampoo*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: my family probably thinks i'm dead
Me: better make sure they know I'm alive
Me: I'M SLIM SHADY YES I'M DA REAL SHADY, ALL YOU OTHAA SOMETHIN SOMETHIN ARE JUST IMATATINN
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: guess i better get out now..
Me: *turns off water and gets out*
Me: *realizes i forgot to get a towel*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: *sprints naked to the hall closet and blindly grabs nearest bath towel*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: shh that never happened
Me:
Me:
Me: *sits on bed in only a towel making quote about taking a shower*
lol my quote & format! should i keep making these kinds of quotes?(:

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2073 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 12:43pm UTC

Girl: *naturally curly hair*
Girl: *naturally straight hair*Girl:*naturally wavy hair*Me:*naturally annoying hair*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1571 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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bailie008
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 3:24pm UTC

Female Problems #3
Getting your period before something important.
♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1413 points

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