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iwishiwasdifferent

1. iwishiwasdifferent
   posted a quote
   September 14, 2014 9:26pm UTC
   BRUISED.
   Reupload, By: iwishiwasdifferent
   Chapter One (pt. 3):
   I slid on my little black dress and red wedge heels. It was a sheer, short dress but I didn't mind. Once in a while it was nice to look a little edgy. I dabbed on some red lipstick and a smokey black eyeshadow with mascara to top it off.
   Why was I even going on this date? I knew i shouldn't... but maybe this time would really be different. Alex was such a back and forth person. Sometimes I loved him so much the pain seemed worth it. When someone is your world, nothing else seems to matter.
   I curled my hair into big loopy waves and put on my chandelier earrings. I actually looked pretty good. When I walked out of the bathroom, Krista whistled and winked at me jokingly.
   I laughed and gave a big, toothy smile.
   "I gotta go meet Ian at Bennigans," She said, standing up and stretching her arms out sleepily before walking over to the door.
   "Have fun tonight hunnybunny," She smiled, "But not too much fun!" She added with a wink before shutting the door behind her. A meek chuckle escaped my lips before I sat down on my bed.
   Have too much fun with Alex? Yeah right.
   I went on my laptop and MapQuested 'Benihanas'. It was about 20 minutes away, so I figured I should leave as soon as possible. I took one last look in the mirror, happy that the bruises on my arms had finally gone away. Then, I walked out the door. As I grabbed my keys and coat, my mom walked by me.
   "April, are you going out with Alex tonight?"
   "Yeah," I replied.
   "Okay. Just don't stay out too late," She sighed, "and use protection April."
   "Jesus mom, I told you we havent even done it yet," I groaned, rolling my eyes.
   "Okayyy..." She said sarcastically. I scoffed and walked outside.
   The cold night air hit my like a wall, making me shiver down to my very bones. I tighhtened my black jacket around my body and made my way to my used Red Sedan. My car was a hand-me-down from my older sister Mariah, who went off to college and bought herself a brand new green convertable. Perks of being a younger sibling I guess. I turned on the ignition and off I went.
   © KELLYELISENOVELS
   
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2. iwishiwasdifferent
   posted a quote
   September 13, 2014 8:15pm UTC
   BRUISED.
   Reupload, By: iwishiwasdifferent
   Chapter One (pt. 2):
   I quickly brushed my golden brown hair, and wiped my face dry with toilet paper. I finished caking on my concealer (covering up my black eye), and put eye drops in.
   I looked in the mirror. I looked okay.
   I unlocked the door and walked over to Krista, who was lying on my bed with my laptop. She was on facebook, flirting with Ian, her 'boyfriend' (they weren't officially dating) over chat as usual. She thought he was oh-so-cool, because he was Irish. His accent was pretty sweet, but I didn't think he was that good looking. And from what I had heard, he was kind of a douche.
   "Hi Hun." Krista said, glancing up at me, "Why were you in the bathroom-" She broke off what she was saying and sat up, with a concerned look on her face.
   I felt my stomach do a flip-flop. What if she sees my black eye, i thought frantically, what do i say if she asks how i got it?
   "Sit. Now." She demanded, patting a spot on the bed next to her.
   "I, um," I stumbled over my words- trying to collect my thoughts.
   "No. Be quiet. April," She said, "Your eyes are red, and you have that panicky look on your face you always get when you're hiding something from me. Its obvious you've been crying. Now tell me why."
   "No," I said, laughing nervously, "I... I was at the pool earlier today and I um," I was completely bullshitting this as I went on, "I had ,my eyes open underwater. That's all. I had to use eye drops to um, to soothe my eyes, but I had a... an allergic reaction to them, and my eyes watered up."
   She looked at me, processing my words, then shrugged. "Kay. You know you should use Visine Eye Drops. That's what I use, they're like all natural or something." She turned her attention back to the laptop.
   "Oh... okay." I replied, nodding furiously.
   "So I think Ian and I are like official now... he told his friends we're 'going out', and in my opinion, I think that means were official." She beamed at me.
   "Oh wow Krista I'm so happy for you!" I shrieked, giving her a big bear hug.
   "Aww! thanks babe!" She giggled, "So how are you and Alex? I heard you're going out tonight." "Oh, yeah," I said, my stomach droppin once again, "he said he's talking me to that new Japanese restaurant downtown."
   "You mean 'Benihana'?" She asked.
   "Yeah, I think thats the one."
   "Cool, I wish Ian was talking me there. Hes talking me to Bennigans."
   "Of course he would take you to the one Irish place in town, "I scoffed.
   "Yeah... he thought I would like to see Irish stuff with him," She frowned, "But whatever, as long as I'm with him, I'm happy."
   I nodded and tucked my hair behind my ear, smiling half-heartedly.
   My mind wasn't in the conversation at all... I was worrying about my 'date' tonight with Alex.
   © KELLYELISENOVELS
   
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3. iwishiwasdifferent
   posted a quote
   September 13, 2014 6:35pm UTC
   BRUISED.
   Reupload, By: iwishiwasdifferent
   Prologue:
   “Double AA!” Krista squealed, “That’s like, the cutest couple name ever!” “April and Alex, double AA!” Leona said, “I love it.” They kept giggling about how cute Alex and I were together. But as they did, I sat in silence, rubbing my bruised arm.
   Chapter One:
   I splashed water on my face, and looked in the mirror. My eye was red, and the skin around it was puffy and beginning to turn a blackish purple color. I quickly opened up my purse, and pulled out my concealer. I began to cake it on, trying desperately to cover up my black eye.
   “I swear baby, never again. I’ll never hurt you again,”
   his voice echoed in my head,
   “I’m so sorry. Please baby, I love you.”
   I could almost hear him out loud. It was like he was next to me. My hands began to shake. He had hurt me… again. I couldn’t just leave him though. I knew he loved me… he just… he would get angry, and couldn’t control himself.
   “I love you April, just give me another chance, I'm begging you.”
   Another chance… I thought. I had given him ‘another chance’ way too many times. I knew I should leave him… but how could I when I was still in love with him? I felt like my body was melting, and I collapsed on the floor. I began to sob. I couldn’t control my crying. I pulled my legs up to my stomach and lay on my side, with my head on my arm. Big blubbering tears roolled down my cheeks and onto the cold tile floor.
   “Oh god, oh god, oh god, what do I do?” I whispered shakily.
   I heard a knock on the door.
   “April? Are you in there?" Kristas voice called out. I sat up abruptly and began to stand up. It was 8pm and I had completely forgetten she was coming over.
   “Oh- yeah!” I said, sniffing and wiping my nose on my sleeve as I struggled to get over to the sink. I wiped away my tears frantically as I tried to collect myself.
   “One sec!” I called out, trying to sound normal.
   "Just give me another chance…"
   © KELLYELISENOVELS
   
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4. iwishiwasdifferent
   posted a quote
   September 13, 2014 5:17pm UTC
   Reuploading (via 2011-2012)
   I used to write stories on here years ago,
   but I ran out of time. Rather than posting new,
   I am going to try reuploading my old stories with
   better quality writing. Thanks, Enjoy :-)
   
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5. iwishiwasdifferent
   posted a quote
   June 22, 2014 11:18pm UTC
   The first time I cried in front of him was on a sunday.
   It was January I believe- but I can't tell you for sure. He always tended to have that effect on me. He was such an easy going person that many of our memories together went unrecorded and unwritten, only to be remembered in the torrential cavities of our minds. That was quite a big step for me, considering I had always considered myself an organized person with a healthy tendency to create list after list reminding myself of what needed to be done.
   It was only until I experienced the unconventional method of simply sitting back and letting things happen that I realized that my feverish list-making habits were nothing more than a bulleted way to stress over ever-changing things. There was no real method to the lazy madness ensued by Jacob and I, so I supposed calling it such is misleading.
   Together we experienced the madness of life itself in its untouched form, untainted by the hands of us and humanity around us.
   We learned that when you leave things to happen, they occur the way they are intended to.
   Sometimes a baby bird must die for a flower to grow. Sometimes you must let someone leave if they aren't doing you any good.
   The first time I cried in front of him was when my dog died.
   I had never been good at crying in front of people. When I was little and I would find myself with tears streaming down my cheeks, I would go stand in front of the mirror and stare directly at my red, distressed face. I could only ever stare for a couple moments before I'd find myself starting to giggle at the atrociously hideous face before me. Snot nosed and puffy eyed I'd end up full out laughing at myself because I couldn't even believe how ugly I looked with those stressed out tears pouring out of my eyes and that downturned gasping mouth that made me look like a fish out of water.
   It sounds vain, trust me I know, but ever since then I had taught myself never to cry in front of people. Never in a million years would I have expected myself to be sobbing into the arms of a boy as kind and beautiful as Jacob was (my ugly crying face was completely not expected to ever see the light of day).
   But that was the thing about Jacob.
   Everything was different with him.
   While I cried, Jacob didn't make a sound. No comforting hum came out of his chest and no gentle words left the salmon pink lips that kissed me ever so softly on the forehead. Instead of trying to tell me everything was going to be okay, he just held me.
   He rocked me back and forth calmy, his strong arms holding my trembling frame in the secure sort of way that made me feel at home.
   With him I learned the value of silence. The undeniable worth of letting someone pour their heart out to you and listening as a student rather than as a teacher. Theres a lesson to be found in everything that happens, but sometimes it's best if that lesson goes unsaid.
   I still think about him, Jacob I mean. All the time in fact. His presence is always there.
   There is no sadness in his absence in my life however. Just a thankful presence of memories that lay fondly in my heart.
   -------
   iwishiwasdifferent
   
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6. iwishiwasdifferent
   posted a quote
   June 22, 2014 2:04am UTC
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7. iwishiwasdifferent
   posted a quote
   June 12, 2012 9:41pm UTC
   Confessions. 3
   Two guys have told me they love me, and one has attempted suicide because of me. and the worst part is that I never even gave either of them a chance.
   
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8. iwishiwasdifferent
   posted a quote
   June 12, 2012 9:38pm UTC
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9. iwishiwasdifferent
   posted a quote
   June 21, 2011 10:49am UTC
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10. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2011 10:31am UTC
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11. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2011 7:58pm UTC
    DISGRACED.
    CHAPTER 10: (part 4)
    Sams P.O.V:
    I walked up to the door and coughed, interrupting her family's hug.
    They turned to face me.
    "Sorry..." I said awkwardly, "I'm Sam- if you don't remember..."
    April turned so she was next to me, and i automatically put my arm around her waist.
    Her dad looked angry at first, but her mom just smiled.
    "Well welcome to the family Sam."
    ...
    It was later that night and we were all eating dinner.
    April's Mom had made pork chops and salad.
    "Wow Mrs. Taylors, this is delicious." I complimented her.
    "Call me Lauren," She laughed, "Mrs. Taylors makes me feel old. And thank you-"
    Sophie giggled and poured her applesauce on the floor.
    "Sophie!" April scolded her, and I jumped up to clean up the mess.
    I picked up the bowl and brought it into the kitchen, then ran into the laundry room to grab some paper towels.
    "April!" I heard Mariah yell, "Come to the kitchen!"
    I unrolled some paper towels and was about to walk back into the kitchen when I heard April and Mariah whispering.
    "Damn little sissy, cute boyfriend." Mariah giggled, "Sam is definitely a keeper."
    "I know. I honestly don't know where I'd be without him. And he's not just my boyfriend. We're getting married."
    Mariah practically squealed.
    "When!?"
    "I don't know... we've been engaged for a year now, but we don't have an exact date for the wedding planned yet. I hope its soon though."
    A huge smile burst across my face.
    I'm getting married,
    to the most amazing girl in the world.
    
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12. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2011 5:56pm UTC
    DISGRACED.
    CHAPTER 10: (part 3)
    Aprils P.O.V:
    We stared at each other for a moment.
    And then her eyes flashed.
    Every emotion in the world filled my heart.
    "MY BABY." She gasped, throwing her arms around me.
    I burst into tears and started crying uncontrollably into her shoulder.
    "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
    "Shhh, Shhh, baby. You're safe, you're home. my baby's home..."
    "Mom? Is everything okay?" I heard someone yell from the other room.
    My sister, Mariah, came walking around the corner.
    "Mom- OH MY GOD! APRIL!" she cried.
    We held each other in a big bear hug for a few moments, before my mom pulled me back so she could look at my face.
    "How you've grown." She crooned, beaming.
    I saw that she had aged too. Her once brown hair was grey at the roots, and her 5O year old face had fine wrinkles lining it.
    "I thought you wouldn't want to see me again..." I stuttered, still shocked.
    I turned to look at Mariah, whose hair was dyed darker and just looked a little older.
    "Lauren? Riah?" I heard my dad yell from upstairs.
    My family was taking me back.
    
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13. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2011 3:18pm UTC
    DISGRACED.
    CHAPTER 10: (part 2)
    Aprils P.O.V:
    It was 11 in the morning when we pulled up to my house.
    My house.
    It was unbelievable.
    It looked exactly the same as when I left.
    But it had been years.
    My urge to go home dropped flat. I didn't want to face this.
    Sophie gurgled and I picked her up to pat her on the back.
    "Wanna meet Grandma?" I whispered. I stood up with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
    Sam made a move to come with me as I walked towards the door, but I needed to do this without him. It needed to just be me.
    I gave him Sophie, and they waited by the road.
    My heart pounded as I walked up the familiar stairs.
    I could smell my mothers cooking wafting out the windows.
    My body was moving slowly, but my mind was racing.
    I brought my hand up to the wooden door and knocked quietly.
    I heard footsteps from the other side of the door, and then,
    I saw my mother.
    
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14. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2011 2:36pm UTC
    DISGRACED.
    CHAPTER 10:
    Sams P.O.V:
    I grabbed Sophie's diaper bag and threw it into the back of the taxi.
    Finally. she's going home.
    We jumped into the taxi and the man gave me a funny look.
    "3 hours? You want me drive you three hours? No way!" His thick Indian accent enhanced the shock in his voice.
    "I'll pay you extra." I told him, buckling Sophie up, "I'll give you $2OO."
    He exhaled reluctantly, then muttered and turned back to face the road.
    April sat down in the car with me, and I could tell she was nervous. Her leg was shaking and she kept biting her lip.
    I put my hand on her leg and she gently touched it with her hand.
    "We're okay. Everything's okay." I whispered, and she leaned her head on my shoulder.
    Kris and Phoebe waved from the outside of the Marriott, and Blake blew us a kiss.
    "I'll call you booboo!" He yelled, then stuck his tongue out at April, making her giggle.
    
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15. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2011 2:02pm UTC
    DISGRACED.
    CHAPTER 9: (part 5)
    Aprils P.O.V:
    My head ached like a bomb had gone off inside it.
    Jesus I drank a lot.
    Even though my hangover left me feeling horrible, I was smiling.
    Everyone always talked about college being all about the drinking and partying, and for a while I had felt like I was missing out by not going there. but I had had enough partying to last me a lifetime, and i had gotten to spend my entire night with Sam,
    just like back in the days when we didn't have to pay rent, and didn't have a baby to look after. No doubt I loved Sophie, but she was a mixed blessing between the diaper changes and the crying for her bottle at 2am.
    Cold water rushed over my feet and I realized the tide must have risen a bit.
    Stretching my arms, I sat up.
    My muscles ached and I noticed the hickey on my neck and the imprint in the sand of me and Sam's bodies.
    I blushed as I remembered last night, and Sam chuckled.
    He stood up, and we walked over to the side of the road, where we flagged down a taxi.
    "Where go to?" The man asked, with a heavy accent.
    "The Mariott hotel on Bakers Street." Sam told him.
    I don't know what overcame me then, but at that moment, I just knew I needed to go home. Maybe it was just me being able to think for a little while, or maybe it was the feeling of being back in California. Well whatever it was, it was strong. and I knew I needed to see my parents.
    
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16. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 19, 2011 12:58pm UTC
    DISGRACED.
    CHAPTER 9: (part 4)
    Sams P.O.V:
    It was funny how now, even after all this time, i still got butterflies when i saw her.
    Not very manly, i know, but still.
    It was like she was getting more and more beautiful each day.
    She smiled softly at me, and I noticed her fiery red lipstick.
    Damn.
    I opened the car door for her, and she chuckled, commenting on me being a 'gentleman.'
    ...
    When we pulled up outside the club, the music was blaring, and she winked at me.
    "Where should I park-"
    "Come on!" April giggled, and grabbed my arm, running into the nightclub.
    Her hands were soft.
    The rest is all a blur of dubstep and alcohol.
    ...
    I woke up, terribly hungover, on a beach.
    April was lying with her head on my chest asleep.
    I nuged her and she blinked, then sat up.
    "What time is it?" She yawned, looking around with blurry eyes.
    "uh... 8am." I checked my watch.
    "mmm." she mumbled, then rubbed her eyes. She reminded me of a sleepy kitten.
    "That was pretty crazy last night." She laughed, laying back down next to me.
    "Yeah." I smiled.
    And for once, i felt like i had nothing to worry about.
    All I had to do was lay there with her, and listen to the ocean waves.
    
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17. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2011 4:09pm UTC
    DISGRACED.
    CHAPTER 9: (part 3)
    Aprils P.O.V:
    I called Blake's younger sister, Phoebe, to come babysit Sophie, then went to shower.
    It seemed like a good idea to take Sam out, and get his mind off Sophie for a while.
    When I stepped out of the shower, I brushed my hair.
    Then, I stood... naked, staring at myself for a moment in the mirror.
    Since I had had Sophie so premature, I didn't have any major stretch marks, but I did see a little bump.
    Must be baby-weight. I told myself, I need to work out.
    I grabbed dress and threw it on, then blow-dried my hair and put on some makeup.
    Done.
    I stepped out into the hotel room and heard a knock on the door,
    "Come iiiin!" I yelled.
    Blakes sister walked in. She was about 16, and had soft brown eyes and dark brown hair. She smiled shyly at me.
    "I'm Phoebe. Nice to meet you."
    I smiled back at her, and handed her a list of what Sophie would need to sleep properly.
    "We'll be back before 1O, okay? And Kris and Blake should be back after dinner."
    She nodded and I grabbed my purse off the couch, then peeked out the window.
    Sam was waiting for me in the parking lot.
    "bye! If you have any problems call me!" I told her, then shut the door behind me.
    
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18. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 11, 2011 10:58pm UTC
    DISGRACED.
    CHAPTER 9: (part 2)
    Sams P.O.V:
    A week had passed since the accident.
    It was still hard for me to deal with what had happened,
    especially since bandages which concealed Sophie's healing scar were still on her.
    but April was helping me through it,
    and some of her friends from LA had driven out to stay with us for a while.
    "We're baaaaaaaaccckkkk!" A blatantly flamboyant voice rang from the other room.
    "Sam?" April called me.
    I stood up and jogged into the other room.
    Neon pink hair greeted me as Blake dumped a bag of groceries into my arms.
    "Thanks boo." He winked, and turned back to April.
    April smiled and turned to face me.
    "Wheres Sophie girl?"
    "Asleep in the other room." I replied.
    Blake took out his phone, which was loudly ringing dubstep.
    He squeaked in a girlish manner and whispered something into Aprils ear which made her smile.
    "OMGEE. I'll be back at likkeeeee... 1Oish?" He said, then practically skipped out the door.
    "So how was shopping?" I asked, leaning back against the table.
    "It was actually the most fun ive had in a while," She laughed, "It kinda brought me back to the care-free days of highschool."
    She looked up at me, and bit her lip.
    "You know Sam. I think we both need to let loose, and have some fun."
    She walked towards me, and I wrapped my arms around her waist.
    "Lets go to a club."
    
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19. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2011 9:42pm UTC
    DISGRACED.
    CHAPTER 9:
    Aprils P.O.V:
    "Sam?" I whispered, as he covered his face with his hand and turned his back to our daughter.
    His shoulders shook, and I could tell he was crying.
    "Its okay, shes okay, its not your fault," I said, pushing my wheelchair over to him.
    My own lips trembled as I watched him break down.
    I had never seen him like this before. I had never seen him so completely devastated.
    I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to see Alex standing over me.
    No.
    "No." I said, pushing myself away from him. "I don't want you here."
    He looked taken aback. "I'm just trying to help-"
    "No." I said more sternly. "Leave."
    Sam turned around and Alex immediately backed off.
    "I'll see you later." He said, and left the hospital.
    I turned my attention back to Sam, whose eyes were red and watery.
    He looked back into the room where Sophie was sleeping and exhaled sharply.
    The door next to us suddenly swung open and the doctor walked out.
    "Sorry-" Sam said quickly, "I'm Sophie's father. Is she okay?"
    The doctor sighed and furrowed his eyebrows.
    "It depends how you define 'okay'. Mentally, shes fine. she has no brain damage, and her nerves are working fine. And physically, she is capable of doing anything any other child can do. Its just her appearance I'm worried about. See, when the crash happened, it seems like a shard of glass came down and cut your daughters face-"
    A shaky breath came out of my mouth.
    "She will have a scar. now usually i wouldn't say having a scar is that bad compared to what could have happened to her, but this ones big. it stretches from her right ear to her chin. I'm so sorry we cant do anything for this. If theres anything I can help you with, don't hesitate to ask for me at the front desk." The doctor nodded curtly and walked off.
    
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20. iwishiwasdifferent
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2011 8:59pm UTC
    DISGRACED.
    CHAPTER 8: (part 5)
    Sams P.O.V:
    My face was blank,
    and honestly, my mind was blank too. it was weird to be that calm when everything around me was practically collapsing. but there i was, running with April into the emergency room with our little whimpering baby in her arms, and the man i hated most running behind us.
    I burst open the emergency room door and a nurse saw our condition.
    She yelled something, and pulled a stretcher out, lying Sophie on it. She brought out two more and lied April on one.
    "Get on the stretcher sir," She demanded, and I shook my head.
    "I need to go with my daughter, you don't understand, this is all my fault-" I protested.
    The woman shook her head and a male nurse injected me with some kind of anesthesia.
    "No!" I yelled, "You can't just do that! I have to go with my daughter!" I yelled.
    "Sir, you're bleeding excessively, we need to ..."
    her voice faded out as I was knocked out by the drugs.
    ...
    When I woke back up, the quiet beep of a heart-monitor reminded me where i was.
    I sat up and felt my side ache massively. Lifting up my shirt, I saw the stitches which ran from my hip up to my shoulder.
    Sophie. April.
    I stood up, ignoring the sting of pain from the fresh stitches, and walked out into the hallway.
    "Sam?" I heard April whisper.
    I whipped around and saw her sitting in a wheelchair. She had one black eye, and it looked like one of her ankles was in a cast.
    Alex was standing behind her.
    I ran over to her as fast as I could.
    "Shhh." she whispered, bringing her finger to her lips before I could say anything.
    She pointed to the room she was next to and I saw Sophie sleeping in a baby-sized hospital bed. She had bandages wrapped around her face and arm.
    My body shook. I was disgusted. I was disgusted with myself, that I had let something like this happen to her.
    I couldn't even look at her.
    
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