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ifstarscouldtalk

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Member Since: 12 Sep 2010 10:11pm

Last Seen: 27 Dec 2011 04:43pm

user id: 124859

77 Quotes
746 Favorites
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15 Followers
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I'm Lexie and I am currently at the exciting age of 16. Not so exciting. I am not putting quotes on here to get faves or for people to feel bad for me because I know it could be much much worse.
I will be honest I have been abused my whole life and well I still love my abuser, he is my father. I can't change who he is and I won't because this is a long time in the making with him. I am currently writing a book about my life and how that I am going to over come that and make myself a better person. My life has been messed up for a long long time, but I am not complaining because then I wouldn't be the person I am today, sometimes I think I might have been happier but I don't think that is true. The book will be called "Behind the Mask: True Lies", if it changes I will post it. It is something that is difficult to write because you know someone is going to see that and judge you. You can't keep people from doing that but I have always wanted to write it to make it better for people, and expose the truth and the lies that my hometown has created.
I am from such a small town in Iowa that is becoming very popular by the minute because of the flood over there, but it was home for a 11 years, the longest I will probably ever life my entire life.
Some of the things that inspire me are the stars, the moon, the people around me, boys, and well the life that I am trying so hard to over come and not let myself give up. The one person that I look up to is my mom, but the person I look back on is my Aunt Roeline.
Few things that my Aunt Roeline helped me with and even now after all the year she has been gone and missed. She helped me see that myself is the best that will ever be around. She also taught me to hid what really hurts so no one will freak out and worry because she put up the best mask that anyone could ever do in the whole world I think. I never knew she was in pain until after she passed away when I was 10, that just so happens when my life fell apart.
I don't want people to freak out because I do have hard times that I show and sometime I will speak the truth and no one knows it. I am going to say this one last thing, my mom hides our imperfections and our secrets because she has been around too many people who judge so roughly.

I am not putting this for anyone to feel sorry for me because that has always been what I hated the most. I don't see why people can be sorry for someone else who is just trying so hard just to not feel like this anymore, but I do except them a lot better than I did when I was younger. I still don't want people to truly know the pain because I never want anyone to feel pain and others pain is so so much better.
Thanks for support and thanks for just reading the quotes and commenting one my profile. Thanks for just being a space I can vent and it not be my journal, where someone can put there feed back in too. JUST THANKS. :D

  1. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    September 25, 2011 3:59pm UTC
    And everyday I sit here waiting for you to show up at my door.
    Knowing you made a bit mistake.
    You still love me and I can't ever stop loving you.
    I waited 2 years and everything was great.
    But now I sitting here waiting at my door...
    My heart misses you, forever.

  2. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    September 23, 2011 10:33pm UTC
    For once in my life,
    I did something first...
    Like it is supposed to be.
    I was diagnosed with depression,
    and
    you're just mad
    because I bet you first
    at something for once, and I don't want to.
    I HATE MY LITTLE SISTER...

  3. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    September 22, 2011 6:14pm UTC
    Why Be Me?
    No One Likes me...

  4. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    September 14, 2011 9:55pm UTC
    I would love to thank my "best friend"...
    For making me cry Because of stupid rumors. I warned you all the time To watch what you said to me but This time you really messed up! You hit me where I never wanted anyone to see you told me that you weren't talking to "her" (me) anymore. You explain to me that it isn't me that I can be mad but not depressed. You were my friend that I told everything too Even my darkest secret But man you messed up, Now your killing me When I told you I am mad at you and don't talk to me, you do, and I see you everywhere And God you see me too! Why did you open your mouth? You knew what I was going through... Now I have lost everything. Your a jerk, but I miss you, Colten. I will until you say you're sorry, and it will mean a lot to me because you have a hard time with sorry... I told you I know you don't care at all.

  5. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    September 10, 2011 11:48pm UTC
    I wish
    I could run away...
    Run and see how far it would take me away
    from all my problems.
    I know I wouldn't get very far
    because things travel faster
    than
    planes, trains, and cars.
    And you would be
    waiting
    desperately
    right where you are
    till the end of time.
    Go ahead,
    just
    Miss me...

  6. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    September 5, 2011 10:07am UTC
    Did you know that every night before you go to sleep there is one person of the opposite gender thinking of you? They want to kiss you, they want to be with you, they are always thinking about you. This is all true and not fake! If you repost this in 5 minutes the person that is longing to be with you will approach you within one month and ask you out, or grab you, and kiss you.

  7. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    September 3, 2011 11:18am UTC
    click to see this quote

  8. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    August 31, 2011 10:01pm UTC
    I am tired of seeing quotes that are about the perfect guy.
    I had the perfect guy
    We never had a fight,
    He never made me cry,
    He always held me tight,
    Called me every night,
    Told me he loved me,
    And since we lived far apart, he made sure to come see me every chance he got.
    He took me to meet his whole family,
    Started to plan a future with me,
    And was my best friend every day and every night.
    He was perfect, even when he told me I deserve so much better than him.
    News to me, I knew he was the one.
    I never thought I would have to be without you but yet I am still here without my phone going off ever minute with a message from you, or with you on your way going over the speed limit to spend the whole night with me. :)

  9. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    August 29, 2011 10:38pm UTC
    I am pretty sure
    my friends stopped caring.
    They stopped caring
    because
    everything I cared about is gone.
    The family member
    that I truly
    cared about is gone forever.
    The love of my life
    left me,
    and seems to be never coming back.
    The only thing I cry about now
    are the memories that will always hunt me,
    Tomorrow, Today, and Yesterday.
    I never changed a thing,
    I probably never will.
    I will spend my day wondering,
    what could of been,
    what should of been,
    and
    what you ended up leaving behind.
    Truth is I don't ever see myself not loving you, and it is your fault I write the way I do, because all I think about is you.

  10. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    August 27, 2011 11:44am UTC
    I still miss you everyday.
    Some days more than others.
    Sometimes I catch myself wondering if you're wondering about me too.
    About the love that was forever ours.
    The love that I miss every time my head hits the pillow
    Do you remember the love like it was yesterday?
    Do you feel it when you're deep in thought?
    Do you miss it when you had someone to talk to everyday about nothing?
    Do you miss that someone loved you without the reason why?
    Do you miss me like I miss you everyday, do you catch yourself thinking that you made a bad mistake, and do you feel the tears burning inside you and you can't let them out because you want the world to think, you're fine?
    <3

  11. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    August 11, 2011 12:39pm UTC
    I feel like the show
    Awkward
    is based on my life.
    My brother wanted to name me Jenna. Then the guy that I am kinda messing around with is named Matt, so close to Mattie. And only 2 of my best friends know all about him. We mess around during school and I am kinda a no one in my school, so yeah... Besides the fact I think his best friend knows because he was always around and everyone thought in our English class that he had a thing for me. The only difference is I never met him at camp...
    Awkward!

  12. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    August 9, 2011 7:44pm UTC
    I have started to write a book...
    The book is about my life and the abuse that I am learning to over come and hope that it will never happen again. I don't know how anyone had the nerve to write the story of their lives but those people are freaking amazing! It is hard to put all the facts in chapters, especially when the pain comes back and you become afraid of how your parents react, but this is something I need to do for myself.
    Exposing the truth is hard when your from a small town the covers up the truth and has a list of untouchables where their parents paid the cops to never arrest them. I will never see justice for what happened to me by someone on the untouchable list. This is my way of getting it, since I will never see it in a courtroom, and maybe someone one day will take the comfort of knowing someone out there has gone through something like that and over came it.
    The story will have two parts. One part is about my dad and then second part will be about my mom's. I have over come so much over the years and I want to share it with the world. I know it won't be great but it will be worth the read someday.
    I am asking anyone who read this if they think that I can do this, and if they think it is ok. I hope that all of it will be worth it because someone finally needs to know the truth...
    I will power on with my words... Until then I will learn to use them whenever I can.

  13. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    August 9, 2011 2:51pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  14. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    July 8, 2011 9:42pm UTC
    And on my wedding day,
    Grandpa and Grandma
    I will play the song, My Wish by the Rascal Flatts
    because that is all you ever wanted me to have in this world.
    Just because you can't be there in person,
    You will always be on my mind
    When I dance with my husband.
    I pray your proud with what you see
    Because I am still proud of you.

  15. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2011 12:56pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  16. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    June 18, 2011 11:38am UTC
    There are a lot of people I miss in this world,
    like your arms where
    I fit so perfectly.

  17. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    June 1, 2011 11:58pm UTC
    In the words of my boyfriend....
    If we were meant to be I knew that you would come back to me.
    I freakin' love this boy,
    after I kinda broke is heart...

  18. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    May 26, 2011 12:25am UTC
    I love how my best friend lives like 100 miles away and we can sit on the computer and chat for hours and watch the same things like we were sitting right next to each other.
    Now that is friendship, I haven't seen her in like 4 years. I miss her... :(

  19. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    May 25, 2011 12:01am UTC
    I won't date you because we have different political views....
    Who really thinks about that at 16? Everyone knows you like me just go ahead and say it. :D
    My best friend likes me and this is why he won't ask me out.

  20. ifstarscouldtalk ifstarscouldtalk
    posted a quote
    May 24, 2011 11:37pm UTC
    Harry: "I guess we're friends now."
    Sally: "I thought you said men and women can't be friends."
    Harry: "I never said that."
    *thinks about it for a minute*
    Harry: "Ok, yes I did. There is an amendment to the previous rule. Men and Women can be friends only when they are in relationships with other people. Now in most cases the other person's half will think they are together. Which brings us back to the original rule. Men and women can't be friends."
    Sally: "Ok, Harry, we won't be friends."
    When Harry Met Sally.
    This is my love story.... I want it to take 12 years and some odd months for me to fall in love with my best friend.

:)

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