Witty Profiles

hey_its_mal

hey_its_mal
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 11:00pm UTC
I just want a guy who'll have enough money. To buy me food. Every single day.

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hey_its_mal
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 4:41am UTC
I wonder if llamas and unicorns are as obsessed with humans as we are with them.

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hey_its_mal
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 6:07pm UTC
When a girl says "I'm fine", it can be jumbled up into "no, I'm not fine b.tch"
It's pretty legit.

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hey_its_mal
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 5:03am UTC
P.E teacher: What's the excuse this time?
Me: I've internally scratched my... internal organs
Bi.ch: Why don't you put a band-aid on it then, huh?
Me: You can't put band-aids inside you, what am I supposed to do? Swallow them?
True story, bro.

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