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ironic
posted a quote
December 7, 2013 7:16pm UTC

in 4th grade we were making clay pots in art and our teacher kept saying “make them thinner! those are too thick they won’t work” so we made them thinner and when she put then in the kiln they all exploded and she told us it was our fault because we made them too thin and if that doesn’t describe the school system i don’t know what does

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happiest*
posted a quote
December 8, 2013 1:49pm UTC

Jennifer- “I wasn’t that drunk”
Josh- “You were crying because you wanted to meet Jennifer Lawrence”

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Steve
posted a quote
December 11, 2013 4:32pm UTC

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
— Swedish Proverb

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happiest*
posted a quote
December 8, 2013 1:54pm UTC

GUYS I ASKED THE CUTE BOY IN MY CHEM CLASS FOR A PEN AND AT THE END OF THE CLASS I WENT TO GO GIVE IT BACK TO HIM, I ENDED UP STABBING HIM IN THE HAND WITH IT AND IT WAS BLEEDING AND IF THAT DOESNT EXPLAIN WHY I DONT HAVE A BOYFRIEND I DONT KNOW WHAT WILL.

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Cammie
posted a quote
November 5, 2013 4:55pm UTC

in 7th grade i turned to this kid that wouldn’t stop talking during class and i said “eric im going to shove this pencil up your as/s” and my teacher called my mom and made me tell her what i said and my mom laughed for like 4 minutes

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Breeze
posted a quote
November 3, 2013 5:49pm UTC

If you cover the middle and look at the sides, it moves really quickly
but if you cover the sides and look at the middle, it moves slowly.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 22, 2013 3:54pm UTC

it actually písses me off so much that there’s the whole world out there, yet I’m just going to school every day. while I could be off finding wonderful things in foreign cities or climbing mountains or helping people or just wandering, and I feel like I’d learn so much more doing that instead, really.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 15, 2013 3:42pm UTC

About 230 years ago, we were ready to fight over a 2% tax increase on a beverage. What happened?

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happiest*
posted a quote
September 8, 2013 3:20pm UTC

There’s a blind boy in one of my English teacher’s classes and last week our assignment was to write poetry about nature…
this is what he turned in:
Roses are black
Violets are black
Everything is black
I can’t see.

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ChocoTaco
posted a quote
September 18, 2013 7:21pm UTC

I bet most of you guys here on Witty
Are actually really popular in school, and you just pretend to be losers so the Internet accepts you.

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Shelley♥*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 11:55am UTC

Favourite if your friends don't know about Witty and they think you're some kind of stand-up commedian

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loserbitch*
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 4:42pm UTC

I dont "dress to impress"
I dress to depress, I want to look so good that people hate themselves.

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brookeleigh626
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 2:33pm UTC

Smacked Dora with a pan
now she's pandora.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 85 points

AnaCastro196
posted a quote
October 4, 2013 12:36am UTC

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 78 points

of_mice_and_lucifer*
posted a quote
October 3, 2013 11:49pm UTC

How to kiss:
1) I don't know
2) Relationships are dangerous
3) Stay online, my friend

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 77 points

ViolinBoy
posted a quote
October 1, 2013 7:06pm UTC

*finally gets out of bed*
*neil armstrong appears*
That's 1 small step for man

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 80 points

likemillionares
posted a quote
October 2, 2013 1:56pm UTC

I really wanna be a Youtuber.
I'm gonna do it.
All I'll need is clear skin.
A camera.
A laptop.
And a personality.
SHlT.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 86 points

dolph*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 10:46am UTC

watching your parents type h t t p : / / w w w .

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_Jannette
posted a quote
September 30, 2013 9:08pm UTC

Instead of getting their period, girls should just get to sleep for 5 days straight every month. everyone wins.
format cred: _Jannette
don't remove.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 111 points

dolph*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 10:17am UTC

Nearly every teacher at my school has this poster on the wall in their classrooms:
"SOME PEOPLE ARE GAY.
GET OVER IT."

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