has_no_life posted a quote
September 11, 2013 11:32am UTC
im jelous of the people who are confident enough to go out in public wearing something that isn't exactly what a typical teenager would wear. because they dont care if people judge them. they're not afraid of being themselves. the world would have so much more colour if there was more people like them.
Is there anyone that can help me, I feel like I'm about to explode I'm keeping everything bottled up can anyone take half the load? There's nobody I can trust there's nobody I can confind in there's nobody that I can talk to who will sit and actually listen I'm afraid that soon it'll get to the point where I'll start to slit my wrists I've already done twice before so I decided to make a list the first reason I cut myself was from watching him walk by and pretending he didn't know me that all we had was a lie the second reason I cut myself was because of the things girls said the small remarks about my weight that would make me go bright red the third reason I cut was because of what went on at home my father used to drink alot he's the main reason I feel alone After things got worse those girls began to trip me and kick and push and scrawl and the boy that I was in love with was the worst of them all one cold night my father brought home some of his friends one of them locked me inside a bedroom and tied me to the bed I think you can guess what happened and when the nasty man was done he rubbed his hands together and told me that it was fun but there's nobody I can trust there's nobody I can confind in there's nobody I can I can talk to who will sit and actually listen. mq
I concentrate mirror that's placed infront of me and I stare at the reflection and wonder who is she? I do not recongnise her she's far from the girl I knew she looks as if shes dead inside and her eyes aren't the same bright blue. The girl I thought was me was very far away she was obhviously got lost and is not returning today in a flash its broken shards scattered across the floor I look down at my bleeding knuckles and then I lock the door I hate the girl in the mirror she ruined my whole life I had a chance to fix it she made me want to cry there was only one way to rid of the monstor inside and it was to kill the both of us even if it cost me my life. mq
I some times feel as though theres no one else around who can help me in any sort of way So I do not make a sound I sit by myself at lunch and watch as people walk by and i know that they are all wondering why I am so shy. But what am I supposed to say to people I hardly know when I know that they're going to judge me for being a little bit slow I'm not the smartest girl in the world so when people begin to wonder I get all panicky inside of me I shove my head right under the worst is when the teacher asks quite a simple thing and I cannot answer it without that stuttering So thats why I dont talk much because I dont want to seem weird and I know it seems ridiculous but that's the thing I fear. mq