Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

hangtheeDJ

  1. MaxEatsCrayons MaxEatsCrayons
    posted a quote
    February 13, 2013 4:20pm UTC
    MY LOVE FOR YOU WAS BULLETPROOF
    BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOT ME.

  2. MyNamesDillon MyNamesDillon
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 2:29pm UTC
    I've changed the gender on my profile, and I'll be changing my picture tonight .
    I realize what I did was wrong , But I did prove a point .
    Guys get more attention on witty than girls will ever .

  3. 2good2btrue 2good2btrue
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 12:35pm UTC
    Little Boy: Mom, why is her name Rosie?
    Mom: Because her mom likes roses.
    Little Boy: Mom, what do you like?
    Mom: Stop asking questions Dicky
    freakquotes.com

  4. Softball33 Softball33
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 7:16pm UTC
    Home alone:
    Expected: Project X party.
    Reality: Pee with the door open and sing at the top of your lungs.

  5. amaraababyxo amaraababyxo
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 3:03pm UTC
    I wish people looked like
    their personalitys.

  6. Singyourheartout Singyourheartout
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 4:25pm UTC
    Person: What's your talent?
    Me: Eating my feelings

  7. xteamnialler xteamnialler
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 5:56pm UTC
    When I delete text messages
    I feel like I'm deleting evidence.
    nmf/twitter

  8. oursong oursong
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 7:54pm UTC
    *Age 5*: Daddy, I'm never going to get married because you're the only guy I'll ever love and I'm never going to leave you.
    *Now*: I'm never going to get married because I'm uglier than a baboon's butt.

  9. conversel0ver conversel0ver happy witty anniversary!
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 5:23pm UTC
    Whenever I say I'm bored, my mom hears, "I want to do chores."

  10. tor_123 tor_123
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 7:46pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  11. sophsunflower12 sophsunflower12 happy witty anniversary!
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 5:06pm UTC
    our generation is going to make
    the best private investigators.
    EVER.

  12. Bravosierra* Bravosierra*
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 7:44pm UTC
    *Me at the gym*
    Okay. You're working out today NO POOL.
    Hello, who are you ;)
    YOU WANT EM ! I KNOW IT.
    TALK TO ME BABY
    OH YEAH! YOU LIFT THOSE WEIGHTS
    *Stands up.* Wow, you're short.
    Okay. lets run on the treadmill.
    YEAH! I'M A BOSS
    Lets speed this up
    OMG TOO FAST
    HOW DO I STOP THIS
    Oh, this button
    Okay. I got this.
    YEAH I WORK OUT
    This would be so much better with music
    Okay, it's been 5 minutes, time to pump some weights
    Oh, your benching 120? Watch this. I can bench 20
    ONE
    *Huffs and puffs*
    TWO
    Woohoo. I think I'm done
    Omg. This is enough working out.
    HOT GUY
    I WORK OUT YEAH
    Oh. I guess I'll finish working out tomorrow and go to the pool today.

  13. animallovers46 animallovers46
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 5:41pm UTC
    Why I wear fuzzy socks:
    1% comfort
    1% warmth
    98% increased ability to slide across the floor like a fricken' ninja

  14. Nepzgal Nepzgal
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 12:33pm UTC
    Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night

  15. carolineh carolineh
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 3:05pm UTC
    Don’t make decisions when you’re angry;
    Don’t make promises when you’re happy.

  16. smluvsart smluvsart
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 4:15pm UTC
    ϟ
    Chamber of Secrets. Snitch. Sorcerer’s Stone. The Deathly Hallows. Dumbledore. Harry Potter. Quidditch. Severus Snape. Marauder’s Map. Fred and George. Aragog. Sword of Gryfindor. Wands. Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs. Hogmead. Honydukes.. Remus Lupin. Tonks. Butterbeer. Molly Weasely. Hedwig. Ron Weasely. Hermione Granger. Chocolate Frogs. O.W.L.s. Divination. Nimbus 2000. Expecto Patronum. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hipogriffs. Pheonix feathers. Whomping Willow. Crookshanks. The Half-blood Prince. Professor Mcgonagall. Accio broom. Hungarian Horntail. Harry Potter. the Twiwizard Tournament. Potions class. Neville Longbottom. Lumos. Godric Hallow. Stupify. Gryfindor Slytherin Hufflepuff Ravenclaw. The Hogwarts Express. Scabbers. Dobby. S.P.E.W. Fang. Fluffy. Gringots. Ollivander’s. Galleons. The Black Lake. Griphook. Basilisk. Always. Fudge. Privet Drive. The Minister of Magic. Firebolt. Sirius Black. Thestrals. Gilderoy Lockheart. Luna Lovegood. Crumple Headed Snorkbacks. Seeker. Nifflers. The Forbidden Forest. Pensieve. The Great Hall. Moaning Myrtle. Tom Riddle. GinnyWeasely. Burtybots Every Flavor Beans. Werewolf. Stag. Doe. Time Turner. Platform 9 3/4. Rememberall. Dumbledore's Army. The Order of The Pheonix. The Shreeking Shack. The Night Bus. Azkaban. The Tales of Beedle the Bard. The Three Brothers. The Cloak of Invisibilty. The Reserection Stone. The Elder Wand. The Sorting Hat. Flying Car. James and Lily Potter. Polyjuice Potion.Chamber of Secrets. Snitch. Sorcerer’s Stone. The Deathly Hallows. Dumbledore. Harry Potter. Quidditch. Severus Snape. Marauder’s Map. Fred and George. Aragog. Sword of Gryfindor. Wands. Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs. Hogmead. Honydukes.. Remus Lupin. Tonks. Butterbeer. Molly Weasely. Hedwig. Ron Weasely. Hermione Granger. Chocolate Frogs. O.W.L.s. Divination. Nimbus 2000. Expecto Patronum. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hipogriffs. Pheonix feathers. Whomping Willow. Crookshanks. The Half-blood Prince. Professor Mcgonagall. Accio broom. Hungarian Horntail. Harry Potter. the Twiwizard Tournament. Potions class. Neville Longbottom. Lumos. Godric Hallow. Stupify. Gryfindor Slytherin Hufflepuff Ravenclaw. The Hogwarts Express. Scabbers. Dobby. S.P.E.W. Fang. Fluffy. Gringots. Ollivander’s. Galleons. The Black Lake. Griphook. Basilisk. Always. Fudge. Privet Drive. The Minister of Magic. Firebolt. Sirius Black. Thestrals. Gilderoy Lockheart. Luna Lovegood. Crumple Headed Snorkbacks. Seeker. Nifflers. The Forbidden Forest. Pensieve. The Great Hall. Moaning Myrtle. Tom Riddle. Ginny Weasely. Burtybots Every Flavor Beans. Werewolf. Stag. Doe. Time Turner. Platform 9 3/4. Rememberall. Dumbledore's Army. The Order of The Pheonix. The Shreeking Shack. The Night Bus. Azkaban. The Tales of Beedle the Bard. The Three Brothers. The Cloak of Invisibilty. The Reserection Stone. The Elder Wand. The Sorting Hat. Flying Car. James. Lily. All Was Well.

  17. _BadLuckBrian_ _BadLuckBrian_
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 3:45pm UTC
    1,000,000TH CUSTOMER GETS NEW CAR.
    999,999TH CUSTOMER.

  18. syd70 syd70
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 1:03pm UTC
    My friend Amanda:
    what if you met a boy online and fell in love with him and then you met him in real life and he was really a moth that had spent hours upon hours on a keyboard flying from key to key to convince you to love it what would you do
    Me:
    kill it

  19. WhisperInTheDark WhisperInTheDark
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 3:45pm UTC
    Boys don't realize how lucky they are.
    While they go out with all their friends, having a good time, we're at home, cuddled up on the sofa in sweats & hoodies, stuffing our face with chocolate, complaining about how much life sucks, & getting stabbed by thousands of tiny ninja's inside us.

  20. youonlyliveonce17 youonlyliveonce17
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2012 9:06pm UTC
    There is this kid at my school name Luigi.
    I jokingly asked him one day if his brothers name is Mario.
    His response
    "Yes and my dogs name is Yoshi."
    Best. Parents. Ever.
    nmq

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles