Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

freddy_boxwell

Status:

Member Since: 6 Apr 2009 11:52am

Last Seen: 16 Aug 2011 05:49pm

user id: 72605

95 Quotes
2 Favorites
0 Following
9 Followers
Comment Points
Comments
Comments on Quotes
Comments by User
Quote Comments by User
Flair beta

follow block report

im awesome

{that's all there is to it}

  1. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2009 9:29am UTC
    At Staples a 8 year old kid asked to
    borrow my pen..
    He then proceeded to draw a person
    screaming for help on a sheet of paper, and stuck it through the
    demo shredder.
    That kid is going places.

  2. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2009 9:15am UTC
    Today,
    I told my sister that corn oil is made of
    Crushed corn.
    She then asked me what
    Baby oil is made of.
    We stared at eachother in silence.
    Now we know.

  3. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    October 20, 2009 11:58am UTC
    Snow in October...
    wonderful...i guess we skipped fall this year

  4. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    October 8, 2009 1:39pm UTC
    So This Guy Was Laying Naked On The Beach;
    And this little girl came up to him, pointed and asks "What's that?"
    The guy says "That is my birdy in it's nest." And he fell asleep.
    A few hours later, the guy woke up and he was in the hospital.
    The little girl was there and the guy said "What happened?!?!?"
    The girl begins to explain "Well, I was playing with your birdy in it's nest, but it spat at me so i snapped it's neck and broke all its eggs."
    perverted but not mine

  5. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    October 8, 2009 1:32pm UTC
    Having a smoking section in a
    restaurant is like having a peeing
    section in a swimming pool.

  6. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    October 7, 2009 9:50am UTC
    mcdonald's.
    supporting childhood obiesity, one hamburger at a time(:

  7. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    October 6, 2009 2:33pm UTC
    it's not butter.
    believe it already god damnit.

  8. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    October 6, 2009 2:32pm UTC
    15 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters
    Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
    Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, “Trick or Treat!” Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
    Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, “Top Secret” in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, “It’s about time you got here,” give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
    Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, “Come in.” When they do, have everyone yell, “Surprise!!!” Act like it’s a surprise party.
    Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what’s wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural “whirring” sound.
    Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don’t move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.
    When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the street, and yell, “Crawl for it!”
    When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and runaround the house, screaming until they go away.
    Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.
    Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.
    Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.
    When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can.
    Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.
    Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin.
    Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters. Slam the door when you’re finished.

  9. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    October 6, 2009 2:08pm UTC
    Dora the Explorer is soo an Illegal Immigrant...
    1) She speaks spanish... she speaks spanish perfectly... what is she like...5? Her backpack even speaks spanish perfectly!2) That backpack of hers has EVERYTHING in it! And we're talking everything! Life support, water/food, clothing for any weather, ropes, grappling hooks, shoes.... i mean c'mon!3) She's carrying a freaking ZOO with her! I mean, she has a monkey, an band of insects, a bajillion other animals! Really! What kind of legal immigrant has that many pets!?4) She's always on an "adventure" to transport a "package" to some destination and is always being stalked by a person trying to take that package... i mean... really, Swiper is so obviously some sort of border patrol person trying to collect evidence of Dora's entire narcotics trafficking buisness. The evidence is so obvious and around you guys!

  10. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    October 6, 2009 2:07pm UTC
    BLAND MAN
    " I have no particular powers"

  11. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    September 24, 2009 9:16am UTC
    PROCRASTINATORS UNITE!
    t o m o r r o w !

  12. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    September 24, 2009 9:11am UTC
    oday my computer was being slow,So i said;
    [Stupid Computer]under my breath. It then [stopped]
    loading, so I said sorry, and it started loading again. i felt
    like my computer accepted my apology, and we were [friends] again...

  13. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    September 24, 2009 9:06am UTC
    I asked the lady at Burger King
    for 3 things of barbecue sauce. She said she could only give me 2.
    I did not have it my way.

  14. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    September 24, 2009 8:27am UTC
    The Next Time Someone Says;;
    "Sticks and stones may break my
    bones but words will never hurt me."
    is going to get a dictionary thrown at
    their face
    -someone else's

  15. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    September 24, 2009 8:14am UTC
    Halloween
    The One Day Old Men Could Give Candy to Little Children
    &
    Get Away With It.
    -not mine

  16. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    September 22, 2009 12:57pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  17. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    September 21, 2009 12:01pm UTC
    People Who Don't Know Me
    think i'm quiet (sorta)
    People Who Do Know Me
    wish i was

  18. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    September 21, 2009 11:56am UTC
    i'm in shape !!!!!
    round is a shape

  19. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    September 2, 2009 12:03pm UTC
    I Hate It When People Ask
    1) Can I ask you a question? (didnt gimme a choice there, did ya sunshine?)
    2) Did you get a haircut? (no it shrunk..!!)
    3) Did you lose weight? (yeah. it just vanished!)
    4) Did you catch a fish? (nope. i talked it into giving himself up.)
    5) *waiter* Table for how many? (one hundred and twelve. us 3 would like to switch seats every 4 minutes)
    6) Were you sitting there? (yes. me and my imaginary friend steve.)
    7) Your not wearing that out are you? (actually i was planning on going naked)
    8) Is that yours? (no i stole it...!)
    9) *watching a trick* Am i supposed to pick a card? (no your supposed to pick your nose)
    10) Are you going to eat that? (only if you want it)
    11) *doctor* How are you today? (Great! I just like your company(: )
    12) *clerk at store* Is that all? (why? wasnt this enough??)
    13) Where did you get that accent? (i bought it on ebay)
    14) Hey, are you moving? (nope. we just like to pack our stuff up in boxes every week)
    15) Are you always funny? (no, i only make a special effort on tuesdays and thursdays)

  20. freddy_boxwell freddy_boxwell
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2009 1:08pm UTC
    mr. lame-o is a few fries short of a happy meal
    (mr. lamoreau)

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles