You told me to do what makes me happy. But the thing is, I don't know what makes me happy. Just as something gets better with one person, something gets worse with another. Why is it always me? I hate this. I hate the constant struggle of hatred for myself. The constant empty feeling that consumes me. I feel horrible. I mess everything up. You deserve much better than me. I'm not worth it. I'm not lovable. 11-9-11 November 9th, 2012.
everyone looks at me and thinks i'm just the happy girl. that one girl with the smile thats on her face 100% of the time. that one girl with the crazy obnoxious laugh that's on replay; all day long. the one with straight A's. the one that's booked tight with plans with all her friends. the one with the "cute", "perfect", "gonna get married" relationship. that one girl that you see with atleast 50 likes on her Facebook picture; and all of the great comments that she accepts. she's confident, right? " Oh hey you're perf. You should be a modelllll(:" "LOVE THIS pretty girl" "Natalie! you're gorgeous!! and seriously this is perfection. I'm jealous." "beautifullll." "Cute :)" "Stop being perfect. Love you.<3" "you are perfect. <3" "Gorgeous, of course. (:" "Hate you gorgeous(:" "Omg gorgeous natalie! Love it!!" "jelly over here.." "SOO perfect Natalie" "Oh my gosh this is stunning. You're seriously one of the prettiest girls I know ." Wrong. That girl? She's broken. Torn up inside. Although she accepts the compliments, she looks in the mirror and hates herself. She cries herself to sleep. She used to cut herself. She was depressed; was suggested antidepressants. She went to therapy and broke down. She began pushing everyone away. And still is. She pushed away her best friends. She doesn't even know why. She's confused. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know if anything is worth it anymore. She's me.
glen coco; a fictional character who has no dialogue, whose face never made it on screen, who doesn't serve the plot, and who exists for two seconds in one line from a supporting character; is one of the most memorable and beloved characters from the 2000s.
I want to know how many scars you have and memorize the shape of your tongue. I want to climb the curve of your lower back and count your vertebrae your ribs your fingers your goose bumps. I want to chart the topography of your anatomy and be fluent in your body language. I want you, entire. nmq
15 facts about you. 1) I used to swim, do ballet, gymnastics, cheerleading, & tumbling. Now I’m in color guard. 2) I’ve watched the movie Aquamarine at least 50 times. 3) I’m excited to see Finding Nemo 3D. 4) I dance around in my room but I hate dancing in public. 5) I love red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. 6) Florence and The Machine is my favorite band. 7) I’ve been a fan of Justin Bieber ever since early 6th grade. 8) I wish I could sing because I sound like a dying cat when I try. 9) Demi Lovato inspires me. 10) I hate scary movies. 11) My favorite color is light blue. It reminds me of summer. 12) Sometime in my life, I want to take a long no-destination road trip with someone I’m in love with. 13) My real personality is kid-like, immature, and obnoxious. If you don’t like me or think I’m annoying, that’s your problem. 14) I’m a grammar freak. 15) I’m Chinese, German, Irish, & Italian.
The worst type of crying Is when your lips start to shake and you can see the tears build up. You're vision becomes blurry and when you blink, they all fall. When you have a loss of breath and you gasp while your body shakes. When you start overthinking the situation and all of your previous bad memories come flooding back. When you can feel your heart break & when you realize you're alone. Completely alone.
twisted love Prologue The sun laid low on the hilltop leaving only a radiant, orange glow on our faces. Because of my tank top, the grass scratched my shoulders. His hand was in mine; our fingers interlocking. “I can’t believe it.” He whispered. “Believe what?” I asked while resting my eyes closed. “I can’t believe this might be our last time to be together for a while.” He looked over at me with his deep brown eyes. I look back at him; straight into those eyes. “I’m really going to miss you, Danny.” I said. “I’m going to miss you too. So much. But we’ll take every chance possible to talk on the phone, text, or Skype. Maybe even hangout a few times a month.” Danny said hopefully. I sighed. “You and I both know there’s not going to be time for that. You have baseball and football. And I have dance and college prep classes.” Danny sat up. He rubbed his eyes as if relieving stress. I sat up beside him. His hand had fallen from mine by now. I kissed him lightly on the cheek. He put his arm around me and I leaned into his strong chest. “I love you, Erica.” “I love you too, Danny.” tip: Danny's going to a new school bad prologue /: the story will get better, I promise! I already have it all planned out but suggestions are taken to consideration!