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ImOnlyATeen
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 7:14pm UTC

me: why are those guys staring at me?
me:is there something on my face?
me:is there something on my shirt?
me:they're probably laughing at how ugly i am.
me:they probably find it amusing how fat i am.
friend:maybe they think you're cute.
me:are you stupid or something?
tumblr.

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 1:56am UTC

the big bang theory:
zack: "you know, I saw this great
thing on the Discovery Channel.
Turns out if you kill a starfish, it
will just come back to life!"
sheldon: "was the starfish wearing
boxers? because you might have
been watching Nickelodeon."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 128 points

QueenOfClovers
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 8:13am UTC

Dora: Say map.
Me: Map.
Dora: Louder!
Me: F/cking map!!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 128 points

Stiff_Smile
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 3:17pm UTC

On the phone with my friend:
Me: F//ck...Somebody on Witty's contemplating suicide. Ugh, what do I tell them?
Friend: They're probably faking, you know.
Me: I know, but I have to type my comment anyway.
Friend: What, why?
Me: Because they may be faking and my comment might go to wast, but if they're not, I could save them.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 276 points

mostwouldbehappy
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 9:06pm UTC

If I woke up from✌
A coma and Channing Tatum said he was my husband,
i wouldnt question it..

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Bee
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 9:45pm UTC

i can smell bacon
but i'm making pancakes?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 75 points

arenaud
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 9:57pm UTC

Nutrition Facts
One Direction
% Variety *
Talent 100%
Ugly 0%
Humor 100%
Stripes 20%
Nipples 120%
Attractive 100%
British 80%
Irish 20%
Perfect 100000000%
*Percents are based on average statistics.
Warning: Too much at a time may lead to extreme fan-girling, excessive screaming, and you may become addicted.
nmf nmq

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 76 points

soup6996
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 11:16am UTC

Girl Logic:
"I'm mad, but I'm not going to tell you why, but it's your fault, so you better figure out what you did wrong."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 252 points

HopefulLucy
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 12:05pm UTC

Me: I'm looking really pretty today.
Me: *looks at mirror*
Me: Okay, nevermind.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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carson5482
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 3:40pm UTC

&Who remembers
Smokin' Oken?

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Melrose*
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 1:24pm UTC

I've always wanted to be one of those girls.
who was skinny and gorgeous.
who all the guys loved and fought over.
who all the other girls envied.
who actually liked herself.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 467 points

LaureeeenN
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 11:25am UTC

HOW MY MOTHER WORKS
me: mom i got all a's
mom:
me: mom i cleaned the house
mom:
me: mom i don't do drugs and i'm not pregnant
mom:
mom: is this your cup on the table?
me: yes
mom: YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT! YOU JUST AROUND THE HOUSE ALL DAY DOING NOTHING.
nmf/nmq
tumblr

👍 this is good · read the comments · 718 points

unitopia25
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 10:06am UTC

Who else finds it knda funny that
McDonalds
sponsers the Olympics?
haha

👍 this is good · read the comments · 646 points

ThatsJustLifee
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 8:59pm UTC

Plot twist:
We finally find out how many licks it takes to
get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.♥

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
August 4, 2012 3:41am UTC

How I would commentate the Olympics:
me: wow you are too flexible to be human
me: aaaaand there's a guy with a really nice butt in lane three
me: oh she has nice abs how can i get nice abs??
me: someone got a gold medal but idk who because i was distracted by the guy with the nice butt
me: does anyone know the nice-butt guy's phone number?
me: HERE'S MY NUMBER, SO CALL ME MAYBE
me: omg his biceps are the size of my thighs
me: i want to feel his biceps
me: would i get fired for feeling his biceps or
me: michael phelps you are beautiful and i want your babies
me: RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN PERSONALLY VICTIMISED BY THAT OTHER GUY'S NICE BUTT

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sassysweetheart48
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 8:09pm UTC

Cutest conversation ever with my four year old niece Sadie, while shopping.
Sadie: What are you buying all this stuff for?
me: For college, honey.
Sadie: Why is college far away?
me: I don't know, sweetie.
Sadie: do you have a bed there?
me: Yes i do.
Sadie: do you have a cubby?
me: a what?
Sadie: A cubby! To put your stuff in so the big kids don't take it!
me: I have something like that.
Sadie: Good! And don't forget your night light and teddy bear so you will be safe.
She knows so much <3

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JessicaaaDianeeee*
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 9:28pm UTC

Yes, I am almost 16 years old,
But yes mom, after you make a cake, I would like to lick the spatula.
-nmf

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 462 points

_to_the_kids_who
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 10:17pm UTC

Biggest worry in high school:
not being able to open your locker on the first day.
♥

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xashleyx01
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 10:09pm UTC

Quick! Pretend you're sleeping!
never gets old.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 595 points

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