Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

erins_witty

  1. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    September 4, 2013 8:40pm UTC
    There is a spider lowering itself over my computer
    It's getting closer.
    I'm going to get 7 rolls of toilet paper to fight it off.
    Tell my kids I died a war hero

  2. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    September 11, 2013 5:35pm UTC
    A GLIMPLSE TOWARDS THE FUTURE
    My son: Dad? Where's my college fund?
    Me: Sorry, son. I spent it all on burritos.

  3. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    September 12, 2013 4:20pm UTC
    Making eye contact with her is like a punch in the face
    and it just reminds me that I'll never be good enough to have her

  4. MayMyEyesBleedForTheSorrowsYouveCausedMe MayMyEyesBleedForTheSorrowsYouveCausedMe
    posted a quote
    September 12, 2013 7:22pm UTC
    When will people understand that words
    can cut as sharply as any blade , and that
    those cuts leave scars upon our souls.

  5. MayMyEyesBleedForTheSorrowsYouveCausedMe MayMyEyesBleedForTheSorrowsYouveCausedMe
    posted a quote
    September 13, 2013 4:25pm UTC
    When I call myself useless,fat,invisible,
    failure,ugly,worthless,
    loveless, or any other word like that,
    I'm not seeking for
    compliments.
    I really mean it.

  6. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    September 14, 2013 4:47pm UTC
    Me: *opens witty*
    Witty: Please sign in.
    Me: *signs in*
    Witty: You're already signed in, silly!
    Me: Then why
    Me: the fück
    Me: did you tell me
    Me: to sign
    Me: in.

  7. Butterbear Butterbear
    posted a quote
    September 16, 2013 9:11pm UTC
    So tomorrow is picture day at my school
    Should I look like a stoned monkey again this year or go for the really
    bad hair day look? it's a little more classy

  8. Cats_Are_My_Only_Friends* Cats_Are_My_Only_Friends*
    posted a quote
    September 16, 2013 11:02pm UTC
    He couldn't afford roses so he drew them..

  9. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    September 17, 2013 4:21pm UTC
    If I were a girl I'd probably just use my period to get away with everything
    My boss: Charlita! Why didn't you do this project when I asked you to???
    Me: I'm on my period.
    My boss: You should go home and get some rest.
    My boss: Completely paid for.
    My boss: Actually take the whole week off.
    My boss: And you know? Take my car.
    My boss: Just don't scratch it.
    My boss: Actually, go ahead and scratch it. I don't care.
    My boss: Just leave.

  10. iRawrYooh iRawrYooh
    posted a quote
    August 22, 2013 10:40pm UTC
    Dear Depression,
    You need to leave me alone already. Everyday you're screaming at me and telling me how terrible I am.
    You make me replay every mistake i've ever made.
    You humiliate me on a daily basis.
    You've it impossible to be happy,
    or have a great connection with my friends and family.
    I am so sick of you controlling me.
    The sooner you leave, the better off I will be.
    Don't come back either,
    I never want you to be apart of my life again.
    I hate you, I hate myself for ever letting you inside my head.
    Sincerely,
    Me.

  11. *Death* *Death*
    posted a quote
    August 26, 2013 10:16pm UTC
    trigger warning~
    Have you ever felt the need to slit your wrist,
    let all feelings of guilt and depression bleed out,
    then sew yourself up to be happy again?
    yeah, me too..

  12. gravity_enemy gravity_enemy
    posted a quote
    August 27, 2013 12:42am UTC
    The mood swings, insomnia, anxiety, depression. It's becoming too much to handle.
    I just wish that every single medication they perscribed me didn't make me naucious.


  13. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  14. Night_stuck* Night_stuck*
    posted a quote
    September 9, 2013 7:07am UTC
    'Wake me up when I care'
    -Squidward

  15. of_mice_and_lucifer* of_mice_and_lucifer*
    posted a quote
    September 9, 2013 12:48am UTC
    I hope to wake up thinner tomorrow.

  16. Yourbeautiful* Yourbeautiful*
    posted a quote
    September 9, 2013 5:21pm UTC
    This is for anyone with low self-esteem,
    You're so beautiful.
    I love the freckles on your nose, they bring out the colours in your eyes.
    Your hair frames your face perfectly.
    Your laugh is contagious and you always make me smile.
    That sparkle in your eyes when you smile, show me your strength.
    Your smile looks perfect on you, you should wear it more often.
    It doesn't matter if you have acne.
    It doesn't matter if you're not the 'perfect weight'
    It doesn't matter if you tall or short.
    It doesn't matter if you're not the same as everyone else.
    It doesn't matter if your clever or not.
    All that matters is someone thinks you're beautiful just the way you are,
    and that someone is me.
    I wish you would love yourself the same way I love you.
    The way your friends love you.
    The way your family love you.

  17. goawayanthony* goawayanthony*
    posted a quote
    September 9, 2013 3:13pm UTC
    My mom said
    dinner was ready and I went downstairs and it wasn't even ready I'm sick of all the lies

  18. CaitlinAtTheDisco* CaitlinAtTheDisco*
    posted a quote
    September 8, 2013 9:33pm UTC
    Mom: *starts to slide around on ice*
    Mom: Oh no, I'm slipping!
    Me: Into the lava
    Me: Are you tryna keep from going under?
    Mom: *falls*

  19. Chris* Chris*
    posted a quote
    September 9, 2013 2:53pm UTC
    somehow the past is so much more tragic than the future. it is the broken words and moments you can never get back. jkrgbtjkbgh

  20. capsized* capsized*
    posted a quote
    September 8, 2013 9:49pm UTC
    chicken wrap > thigh gap

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles