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PurplePinkDreams
posted a quote
April 26, 2013 4:37pm UTC

How I ruined some guy's pick-up line:
Him: Did it hurt?
Me: Huh?
Him: I said, did it hurt?
Me: Ohh you mean my nose piercing?
Him: What the.. I was gonna say.. um, nevermind...
Half true story.

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PurplePinkDreams
posted a quote
April 26, 2013 4:52pm UTC

Five year old me: I want to become a mermaid!
Fifteen year old me: I said mermaid, not whale!

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PurplePinkDreams
posted a quote
June 18, 2013 2:47pm UTC

My mom and I were sitting on a bench, out of a fast food store.
Me: Yeah
Mom: Ok
Me: So
Hot guy comes and sits RIGHT next to me.
Me: *sips milkshake*
Mom: SO which bra are you going to wear tonight at the graduation? Your shirt is a bit see-through so I think you should wear the beige one!
Me (under my breath): Shut. up.
Mom: Blah blah blah bras.
Me: *glares at her*
Mom: Do you know this dude?
Me: *dies*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points

PurplePinkDreams
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 2:17pm UTC

Person on Facebook:
My mom: Get off the computer!
Me: *tumblr gif link*
Me: No
Me: How dare you
Me: You can't
Me: This is not for you
Me: Stop
Me: I mean it
Me: Get back in your cage
Me: Seriously
Me: The exit is to the right
Me: Or you can jump out the window
Me: Don't forget to make a gif of you jumping out the window okay
Me: So other idiots can see that YOU CAME TO THE WRONG NEIGHBORHOOD MOTHERF.CKER
Me: Bye

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points

PurplePinkDreams
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 2:45pm UTC

I don't always give my best.
Do you know why?
Because if I did, people would create an image around me.
They'd know how my mind works.
They'd know what to wait for.
They'd know what my next move would be.
They'd predict me.
They'd expect things from me.
And I don't wanna live up to anyone's expectations.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

faithx3
posted a quote
May 26, 2013 10:36am UTC

Dear stomach,
You're bored, not hungry. So shut up.

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SalemSoto
posted a quote
May 30, 2013 5:44pm UTC

a laugh is a smile
THAT BURSTS.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 51 points

Ilovemustaches
posted a quote
September 16, 2013 8:48pm UTC

My friend Gabi was in her Spanish class the other day when my crush took her phone from her and started looking through her pictures.
The first picture he pulls up is the one of me and my new puppy.
She asked him why he picked this picture and his exact words were "She's my crush, and I love her."
Little did he know was that Gabi would tell me everything.
So of course she tells me and now she been working on getting us together... :)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

emiilyyanne
posted a quote
September 18, 2013 6:08pm UTC

One day a
girl had to get
surgery.
Her boyfriend
said to her "I love you."
She said
back to her boyfriend
"I love you too"
She went in
to get surgery.
After the ssurgery she
asked her dad where
her boyfriend is
he said back
"who do you think gave you the heart"

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
September 20, 2013 1:18am UTC

Girl: Ew. Hipster.
Me: Ugh. You're so conventional.
Girl: What?
Me: Ask Dora to teach you some new vocab next time she goes to your bridge.
Girl: Did you just... But... Uhm... Okay... (Walks away)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 47 points

Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
September 7, 2013 9:45pm UTC

How to make the best salad ever:
Step 1: Get a bowl.
Step 2: Subsitute the lettuce with
pizza.
Step 3: Put pizza in bowl. Eat.
You are welcome.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
September 7, 2013 10:55pm UTC

------------ I was home alone so I started blasting music -----------
and singing as loud
as I could and my neighbors heard
and came over to tell me to
S h u t t h e f u × k u p
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 7:38pm UTC

Wanna hear a poem?
Sure
Roses are red, Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs to the zoo. But don't worry, I'll be there too! Not in the cage but laughing at you.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 7:44pm UTC

i have this teacher mrs. goss and i thought her name was mrs. gross so the first day i was screamed "hi mrs.gross." infront of the whole class. omfg. mrs.gROSS.

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Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 7:51pm UTC

Me: - During the summer-
I will do ALL my homework
and hand it on time.
Teacher: - Second day of
school- Do you have your
homework?
Me: lol wut.

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Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
September 13, 2013 3:47pm UTC

waiter: what would you like to drink?
me: pepsi please
waiter: is coke okay?
me: COKE? IS COKE OKAY?! OF COURSE
IT'S NOT OKAY THAT'S NOT WHAT I TRIED
TO ORDER. omg. omg. why do bad things
happen to good people?! WHY GOD? WHY.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
September 13, 2013 3:49pm UTC

I use to think Crocs were made out of
» Real crocodiles »
Credit: FaveFormats

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 1:52pm UTC

Elementary school
Me: Brat please! Get
the frick out of my way.
Before I step on the
back of your shoes!
Everyone: Oooh she
swore!
Now
Me: B×tch please! Get
the f×ck out of my way
before I f×cking murder
your a×s!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
September 15, 2013 1:40pm UTC

-------------------------
So last night my boyfriend
went to taco bell.
And he got one of the sauces that has the cute
little sayings on it and he sent me a picture of it
I was confused but opened the picture and the
sauce packet said will you marry me?
♥
-------------------------

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
September 15, 2013 3:00pm UTC

My 5 year old cousin: Erin! Erin!
- Starts crying - I lost my V- Card!!
Me: WHAT!? YOU LOST YOUR
V-CARD?! BUT. BUT. BUT YOU'RE
ONLY FIVE. YOU CAN'T BE DOING
THIS! YOU HAVE TO BLOW BUBBLES
NOT BOYS. OMFG. MY BABY COUSIN
LOST HER VIRGINITY. WHERE DID I
GO WRONG?! OMFG.
My mom: Oh, sweetie, here's your
v-card. The one you lost? I found it!
Me:
Mom: Erin, what are you yelling about?
She just lost her alphabet card.
Cousin:
Dog:
Cat:
5 year olds who really have lost their virginity:
Me:
Mom:
Cousin:
Me:
Mom:
Cousin:
Me:
Mom:
Me: Ooh.. her.. her alphabet card.. Ooh..
I.. I thought she meant.. Oh thank the lord
it was just her alphabet card.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 65 points

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