dolph*'s Quotes

dolph*
posted a quote
March 22, 2014 5:29pm UTC

i can’t believe this, i thought what we had was special. you met my family and made me dinner.
now all of a sudden you claim you’re a “waiter” and you’re just “doing your job”

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 22, 2014 5:21pm UTC

me: mom im done
mom: excuse me?
me: ive had it, im dropping out
mom: who do you think you are??
me: im done with the fake b'i't'ches, the homework, all of it
mom: you're on 2nd grade
me: no one gets me

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 22, 2014 5:17pm UTC

toto i have a feeling we’re not in rack city anymore

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 22, 2014 5:15pm UTC

dinosaur: ROAR
me: hey lil guy
dinosaur: GRRR
dinosaur: GROWL
me: now what kind of dinosaur are you
dinosaur: SHOUT
me: hmm
dinosaur: YELL
me: hmmmmm
dinosaur: SNARL
dinosaur: BARK
me: oh right ur a thesaurus

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 22, 2014 4:25pm UTC

two vampire friends lying on the floor getting drunk and describing eachother
because they can’t use mirrors don’t even try to tell me that isn’t adorable

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 22, 2014 4:04pm UTC

americans seem to think there are two accents in england:
• tally ho old chum cheerio yes yes wot wot
and
• YOU AIGHT M8 I’LL F*CK YA UP FOR LOOKIN AT MY BIRD
but english people seem to there are two accents in america:
• well hidey ho thare I was just goin to round up them there horses
and
• woah gnarly waves dude lets go eat a hamburger and smoke some weed

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 22, 2014 3:26pm UTC

do pirates hook up

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 22, 2014 12:49pm UTC

this shampoo was supposed to give my hair volume but I really can’t hear anything

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 16, 2014 1:50pm UTC

click to see this quote

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 16, 2014 1:37pm UTC

Me and my pirate boyfriend
*holding hands*
me: bb y is ur hand so cold
him: that me hook

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 16, 2014 1:32pm UTC

"No Santa I don't want to sit on your lap it's either your face or nothing"

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 16, 2014 1:28pm UTC

I watched my girlfriend as my sper'm trickled down her chin
"Do you like that?" I asked
"No," she replied, "what the fu'ck is in this sandwhich?"

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 16, 2014 1:25pm UTC

anne frank didn't even write a sequel like wow way to disappoint your fans

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 15, 2014 11:44am UTC

dogs deserve to live forever

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 7, 2014 4:12pm UTC

why are people offended by nudity, like dude have you seen what's under your clothes?

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 7, 2014 4:10pm UTC

funny how when a girl is in love with a guy that doesn't love her back it's 'clingy' and 'pathetic'
but when a guy loves a girl who doesn't love him back it's 'romantic' and 'heartbreaking'

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 7, 2014 4:06pm UTC

click to see this quote

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 7, 2014 4:02pm UTC

Opinions are like org'asms.
Most girls aren’t taught that it is okay to have their own and are only expected to further men’s.

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 7, 2014 3:58pm UTC

i really hate how people have created that thing where it’s like
"THIS IS WHAT GIRLS MEAN WHEN THEY SAY:
"i’m tired" = "i f'ucking hate you, dont talk to me"
"i’m fine" = "everything's wrong"
BI'TCH WHEN I SAY IM TIRED I AM F'UCKEN TIRED I AM NOT FOOLING U NO JOKE
WHEN I SAY IM FINE I MEAN THAT IM ACTUALLY FINE WOW ILLUMINATI RIGHT

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dolph*
posted a quote
March 7, 2014 3:50pm UTC

VERBAL ABUSE AND BULLYING
IS NOT FREEDOM OF SPEECH

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dolph*