Witty Profiles

dooosh

1. dooosh
   posted a quote
   January 26, 2014 6:16pm UTC
   There's no reason to hate Bieber.
   To be honest, she's a really nice guy.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
2. dooosh
   posted a quote
   July 3, 2013 7:57pm UTC
   Had a massive poo this morning, after which I felt very shatisfied.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
3. dooosh
   posted a quote
   June 6, 2013 8:22pm UTC
   I caught a guy stealing a One Direction CD the other day.
   I let him get away with it, buying it is a bigger crime.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 24 points
4. dooosh
   posted a quote
   May 21, 2013 9:51pm UTC
   Just saw a video of Justin Bieber winning an award and thanking Jesus.
   Don't think I've cringed that hard since the ending of Paranormal Activity.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
5. dooosh
   posted a quote
   May 16, 2013 8:21am UTC
   I got a bit teary eyed on my last day of working at McDonald's.
   That air-conditioning was on far too high.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
6. dooosh
   posted a quote
   May 15, 2013 12:26pm UTC
   I saw a guy grinding on a girl in a nightclub.
   Quite weird...why did he have a skateboard in a nightclub?!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
7. dooosh
   posted a quote
   May 15, 2013 12:20pm UTC
   I hate it when people make jokes about religious figures eating meat.
   I mean, for God's steak.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
8. dooosh
   posted a quote
   May 11, 2013 11:23am UTC
   I just stood on a colony of ants.
   I guess you could say my feet are killing
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
9. dooosh
   posted a quote
   May 6, 2013 9:16am UTC
   I woke up this morning and my mum said, "How did you sleep last night?"
   I said, "The same way I do every night, with my eyes shut."
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
10. dooosh
    posted a quote
    April 19, 2013 10:37am UTC
    Guys that wear leather jackets <3
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
11. dooosh
    posted a quote
    April 17, 2013 9:19am UTC
    My favorite exercise at the gym would definitely be judging.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
12. dooosh
    posted a quote
    April 13, 2013 5:47pm UTC
    Some people are so desperate for a top quote these days. They'll do literally anything.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 103 points
13. dooosh
    posted a quote
    April 13, 2013 5:44pm UTC
    On Saturaday nights I visit a club so exclusive nobody else knows it exists.
    It looks bizarrely like my living room & needs new cleaning staff.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
14. dooosh
    posted a quote
    April 11, 2013 6:36pm UTC
    I just overheard someone say, "I live in fear."
    I'm pretty sure you live in America, sweetheart.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
15. dooosh
    posted a quote
    April 11, 2013 6:31pm UTC
    My boyfriend left me because I never project my voice. He'd have been mad had he heard what I said afterwards.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
16. dooosh
    posted a quote
    March 15, 2013 10:35am UTC
    Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to come out of it with a few good songs.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
17. dooosh
    posted a quote
    March 5, 2013 9:33pm UTC
    Most of my jokes are so bad even the tumbleweed says, "I don't want to be involved in this."
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
18. dooosh
    posted a quote
    March 5, 2013 9:29pm UTC
    I ate like a horse earlier.
    In a field. My parents don't love me.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
19. dooosh
    posted a quote
    March 5, 2013 9:26pm UTC
    My geography teacher: "Where is England?"
    Me: "On page 17."
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
20. dooosh
    posted a quote
    March 5, 2013 9:15pm UTC
    Why does toilet paper even need a commercial?
    Who on this earth isn't buying it.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 23 points

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles