This is a longggg quote. I just need to vent anonymously.
I was going through my old IM messages, and I found one from a contact I deleted...
The guy I've secretely liked for 3 years.
I deleted him because he wasn't ver classy. He had so not very appropraite status, that I didn't want my parents seeing.
The other reason? I felt too guilty every time I saw his name.
He is the definition of a jerk.
My friends hate him.
I say I hate him.
He says he hates me.
BUT, I continue to like him.
Why?
Keep reading...
In the sixth grade I was coming home from dance and my dad said, "There's an urgent call from Sarah (name changed)."
I immediatley checked my IM, and she had been trying to get ahold of me for an hour.
Yeah, I was scared.
It was a simple message, "CALL ME."
So I did.
She answered immediatley telling me in rushed voice, "Mike (changed name) likes you."
She then continued, "Go on IM." So I did. We chatted and she told me he had been dared to confess to me that he had liked me for a few months, but was too afraid to tell me straight up, so he wanted Sarah to tell me for him.
I was happy, floating on air. I didn't realize I liked him.
But then it hit me.
I couldn't date.
I didn't WANT to date.
I was 11 years old. He was 10.
So it was simple.
I would pretend I hated him.
But we had a school trip the next day.
We were going bowling and I would be faced to see him.
Somehow out entire class had found out and I was nervous. The entire bowling trip my frind was running back and forth reporting messages to me that he wanted to go out with me.
I kept saying, "No." "I don't like him."
But I did; alot.
That night he kept IM'ing me.
"Please go out with me."
I kept saying, "No, I'm not allowed to date."
And I felt terrible.
He said I was breaking his heart.
He even sent Sarah a video, telling her to share it only with me.
Him, talking in a weird accent (this is the REAL Mike, the goofy, nice, sweet guy, that only I seem to see. ) I laughed when he said that if I agreed he would show me his cat, as he spun it around in the chair.
But I still refused.
I won't date him. I'm 13.
Young. Free.
But you know.
I'm still considering confessing to him, but staying really close friends.
Because he IS my friend. In a frenemy way.
As we fight ALL the time.
In a teasing way.
Neither of us is ever really hurt.
We mock jokes like, "You're rude." "Eeewww, it's you."
But you know, maybe I want to keep it that way.
Now, two years late rumors are up in the air that he still likes me.
I've never moved on.
disneydreaming