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I guess this is a diary, or a little thing I call my life. I have had a messed up life from since I can remember, it has started from when I was a child. Around 5 or 6 years old. I was abused as a little girl and till about 11 years old. My father was an alcholic and I hated him for all he did, when he drank to when he beat me. He used his anger out on me and I could never understand why he did this. I figured after all the beating he would stop drinking and quit all his smoking and leave his old life. Things became worse and later on in my years growing up my father died. I never forgave my dad, I was told I was exactly like my father, well how I looked. I hated it! So I started drinking and cutting myself at the age at 12 years old. Time passed, many years later my mom noticed what was happening and found help for me. I am proud to say after 3 years of stuggle to stop me from cutting myself and drinking, I have been sober for 2 years. I havent cut for 4 years. I have learned to forgive my dad for hat he has done, and just move on.