deepdowninside

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Member Since: 24 May 2012 02:29pm

Last Seen: 5 Aug 2013 11:45pm

user id: 302257

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HI I'm Lindsey and I'm awkward. I stress too much, I cling to my friends way more than I should, I dream of moving far away and never coming back, and oh yes, I collect rubber duckies. I speak only in sarcasm and I laugh way too hard at bad jokes. I obsess over quotes and poems and songs and books. But only the good ones. I take way too long to get dressed in the morning, and I will not leave the house without my makeup on. I love cozy sweaters and hot chocolate and winter, but summer and spring is what I love best. I live within biking distance of the beach and I go there everyday in the summer. I'm crazy and hyper with my friends, but when I'm with people I don't feel completely comfortable around, I freeze up and I become the most boring person alive. I spend 99.9% of all my time on the internet in my room listening to my bedroom jams playlist on my lame ipod I got in the sixth grade. I'm turning sixteen on September 15 and I can't wait to drive. From that, you never would have guessed that I have anxiety issues... that I'm depressed. That I struggle with an eating disorder. That I have extreme family issues. Ha, neither do any of my friends or family. But I do. And I would love to talk to you about it, so please. Do me the favor of talking to me.

This is my secret witty by the way. I don't usually act this grumpy in my quotes (follow my other one: mooselinaturtle), but this is my grumpy/let me vent about the things I hate about life account.
(+) Ed Sheeran, T-Swizzle (slut or not, I like her music), , bows, American History (nerd alert), the beach, spring/summer, singing, Supernatural (JENSEN ACKLES AND JAR-PAD OMG OMG OMG I MIGHT PASS OUT ANY MOMENT), friends, organization, fashion, makeup, YOUTUBE.
(-) broccolli, asparagus, messy people, people who talk too much and too loud, people who .... well, just like 99% of all people. GOODBYE.

I am in charge of how I feel today, and today I am choosing happiness.

deepdowninside
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 1:50am UTC

I don't even know what normal is anymore.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

deepdowninside
posted a quote
June 24, 2013 5:12pm UTC

I'm not your f/cking therapist.
I'm your daughter, god dammit.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

deepdowninside
posted a quote
June 4, 2013 9:17pm UTC

Sh/t happens, I get that. But that is what my whole life has become, and I am just so done with it.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

deepdowninside
posted a quote
June 4, 2013 9:13pm UTC

Life sucks.
I just feel like I've been going through the same crap for years and years, and I feel like it's never going to end. Not now, not when I finish school, not ever. I will laugh and smile with my friends, but as soon as I leave, I realize how messed up my life is. I'm not laughing and smiling on the inside. My life just seems like an utter mess, and there's nothing I'm going to be able to do about it. I'll never be pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, independent enough, nice enough, for anyone. I'm never going to be good enough for anyone, and I'm definitely never going to be good enough for myself.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

deepdowninside
posted a quote
May 26, 2013 5:08pm UTC

I don't know if I'm depressed or just growing up.

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deepdowninside
posted a quote
May 3, 2013 4:16pm UTC

My sister took a handful of pills last night.
She was having a meltdown, and all of a sudden, my parents rushed her somewhere and they wouldn't pick up their phones. My Dad came back a few hours later and told me that she had swallowed a handful of pills. That was all he said, and then he left. She was at the hospital until late last night, and she's going to a psychiatric hospital for up to a week. I don't even know what happened. They won't tell me. I just need someone to talk to right now.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 9 points

deepdowninside
posted a quote
April 29, 2013 3:51pm UTC

Sometimes I think about what would happen if I just told you the truth...
&I wonder if you would even believe me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

deepdowninside
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 10:35pm UTC

I just want things to be back to normal.
....Back when I was happy.

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deepdowninside
posted a quote
March 24, 2013 6:17pm UTC

I know you.
You're the girl who was so happy, then crashed. You used to love life, trying new things, rolling on the floor laughing, but now you lock yourself in your room because you don't want to be with people. Your schedule is always empty, but when your friends call, you say you're too busy.You just never seem to be in the mood anymore. Your friends don't really know what's going on with you, but they don't care enough to figure it out... so there you are, just wishing life would hurry up and get to the good part. Your life is crumbling, stress is eating at you... school sucks. Your parents nag you about that "B" you got on your report card, and no matter how hard you try, you can never please them. Or anyone else for that matter. Not even yourself. When you look in the mirror, you see ugly and fat. You hate the way you look and there are so many things you would like to change. Your nose, your hair, your skin. You see pictures of beautiful girls with beautiful bodies and think to yourself, why can't that be me? And then you think about what a perfect life she must have because she's beautiful. The guys must fawn over her, and she probably gets anything she wants. If you had that life, maybe you would be happy too. But no, you're stuck with the most dysfunctional, unsupportive family in the world and there's nothing you can do about it, because you're stuck with them for the rest of your life. You hate to admit it, but you dream of moving across the country, maybe even across the globe. Starting somewhere new, maybe it'll all change. Maybe you'll be happy there. It's a sad thought that you would leave everything in an instant, but it's true isn't it? You've been planning summer since school started and you keep thinking that as time goes on, things will get better, but not yet. "Better" is still a long ways away. Right now, you're curled up in your room on your laptop. Your "happy" place. But you're not really happy. You're never really happy anymore. Not even the things you used to love cheer you up. People just irritate you, and you prefer antisocialism. It's easier that way. But the truth is, I know you. Wanna know why? This is me.

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deepdowninside
posted a quote
March 24, 2013 5:40pm UTC

When I look in the mirror
I see who I've become. I'm fake. My whole life, really. I pretend that everything's okay. I pretend that I can handle whatever is going on, but most of the time I just don't tell anyone what's going on. I worry constantly. About everything. And all I see are huge thighs and a face covered in makeup trying to cover what was there. I pretend I'm fun and loud and friendly, when on the inside I feel like crumbling. But no one knows.

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deepdowninside
posted a quote
January 28, 2013 3:22pm UTC

Sometimes I wonder if I matter.
Really. All we hear everyday is "everyone is special," "everyone is beautiful," but the truth is that in the big picture, I'm just one out of seven billion people in this world. Why would someone across the world care about me? They wouldn't, because I don't make a difference to them. In the big picture, no one really cares at all. It doesn't matter if you're a friend, a mother, a daughter, a leader, a god godamn millionaire. Out of seven billion people in this world, what makes you so special?

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deepdowninside
posted a quote
January 24, 2013 4:40pm UTC

You ruined me.

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deepdowninside
posted a quote
January 21, 2013 11:37am UTC

Dammit, for once, just do what's best for me.

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deepdowninside
posted a quote
January 21, 2013 11:30am UTC

Does anyone really need me?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

deepdowninside
posted a quote
January 21, 2013 11:28am UTC

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if all of a sudden I just died.
Would they check my room and find the razors under my bed? Would they look through my diary and find out all of my secrets? Would the kids from school come to my funeral and bring me flowers? Who would care? Who wouldn't? Who would forget? Who would remember?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

deepdowninside
posted a quote
January 2, 2013 10:43pm UTC

I need you wittians.
I just want someone to talk to right now. My best friend cuts herself, I have anxiety problems, a lot of family issues, I just really want someone to talk to if you have a skype or something.

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deepdowninside
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 4:14pm UTC

Witty is the family I never had.
Thanks for always being there for me.

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deepdowninside
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 4:10pm UTC

I'm so tired of being lied to.

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deepdowninside
posted a quote
December 28, 2012 10:43pm UTC

The soul would have no rainbow
if the eyes had no tears.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points

deepdowninside
posted a quote
December 17, 2012 8:59pm UTC

&that's when I realized
you just bring me down.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

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