Witty Profiles

dazaghaswag

1. dazaghaswag
   posted a quote
   September 8, 2012 10:55pm UTC
   Student 1: Wed-nes-day
   Student 2: *jokingly* That's Wednesday in Spanish!
   Student 3: You take Spanish?
   this actually happened....
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
2. dazaghaswag
   posted a quote
   August 21, 2012 5:57pm UTC
   My Brother: Where's the salt?
   Me: In the pantry.
   My Brother: What?
   Me: In the Narnia closet with the food in it.
   True story... and he's 13, don't worry though, he doesn't have mental issues.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
3. dazaghaswag
   posted a quote
   August 4, 2012 2:41pm UTC
   Kidz Bop.
   Ruining Perfectly Good Songs
   Since 2001
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 16 points
4. dazaghaswag
   posted a quote
   August 3, 2012 9:15pm UTC
   Today is my aunts birthday.
   Most of you are thinking, "so what?"
   Well, this birthday was different and she got the greatest gift she could ask for.
   My aunt suffers from epilepsy.
   She had been on a new medication and hadn't had a seizure for seven years.
   That all changed four days ago.
   She was in Puerto Rico on vacation with her cousins and she had a seizure.
   She hit her head badly and lost her speech.
   She went to see a doctor and they didn't know when, or if she would get her speech back.
   This morning, her birthday, she woke up and her speech was back.
   I called her to sing her happy birthday, and she thanked me.
   At the time, I didn't know if she could say anything.
   I cried as she spoke some scattered words.
   Her speech is back, not perfect, but back.
   This gives me hope.
   True Story :)
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
5. dazaghaswag
   posted a quote
   August 3, 2012 8:40pm UTC
   Me: Sorry that you have to pay for my wedding. Ha!
   Mom: Well I am not going to let you marry anyone, if you DO get married, until you're 50. And I will be almost dead so HA!
   Me: You're setting me up for a forever alone life!
   Mom: Cats are good. You are never too young for cats!
   True Story...
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
6. dazaghaswag
   posted a quote
   April 15, 2012 12:07pm UTC
   Am I the only one
   Who's second toe
   Is bigger than their "big" toe?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points
7. dazaghaswag
   posted a quote
   April 15, 2012 10:59am UTC
   click to see this quote
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
8. dazaghaswag
   posted a quote
   April 13, 2012 8:06pm UTC
   My 12 year old brother started to sing
   "Someone Like You"
   By Adele
   Then the "Tarzan" soundtrack
   Then "Figaro" the opera
   Then "Piano Man" by Billy Joel
   Then "Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj
   Then both my 12 year old brother
   And my 14 year old brother started singing
   "Call Me Maybe"
   by Carly Rae Jensen
   I. LOVE. MY. FAMILY
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
9. dazaghaswag
   posted a quote
   April 13, 2012 10:37am UTC
   It's Friday the 13th
   I stubbed my toe this morning
   And. I. didn't. cry.
   BRING. IT. ON.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 31 points
10. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    April 12, 2012 2:36pm UTC
    How to get a Top Quote of the Hour
    1. Go on witty at 3 or 4 in the morning
    2. Make a quote
    3. Fave your own quote
    4. BAM! Your quote will be in the
    "Top Quote of the Hour"
    category
    If that didn't work, too many people are on witty at 3 or 4 in the morning
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
11. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    April 11, 2012 3:46pm UTC
    I went to a seafood restaurant
    And my waiter's name was
    Marlin
    It took all of my self controll
    Not to laugh
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 36 points
12. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    April 7, 2012 2:55pm UTC
    Me: Why can [my brother] get away with doing stupid stuff?
    My Dad: Because he's a boy
    Me: So, say if I did the same things that he did...
    Me: Would it be okay?
    My Dad: No, because your a girl.
    Me: AND...? So you're saying that in 15 years from now, when I am a succesful cop
    Me: I can't arrest stupid men because at one point they were boys?
    My Dad: No... but that's different.
    Me: AHEM, NO! THAT IS NOT DIFFERENT, FATHER.
    Me: IF IT'S OKAY FOR THEM TO BE STUPID AND GET AWAY WITH IT NOW THEY...
    Me: WON'T CHANGE!
    My Dad: ._.
    Me: Yeah, I thought so. Now go to your room and think about what you've done wrong.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
13. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    April 4, 2012 4:03pm UTC
    We all have top quotes in the
    EVER
    Catergory
    Only mine are one the
    6,000,000th
    page
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
14. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    March 14, 2012 8:29pm UTC
    When It's Broken
    You say there's
    Nothing
    To
    FIX
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
15. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    March 14, 2012 8:26pm UTC
    And you
    pray,
    pray,
    pray
    That everything will be okay
    Why you're making
    All the same mistakes
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
16. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    March 12, 2012 2:45pm UTC
    There's one thing I will never understand
    All these witty girls are hand in hand
    Except too many of them think the same thing
    "You can't ever be
    everything"
    Does that mean
    I cant be beautiful
    And smart?
    Be popular and
    have a heart?
    So basically,
    I should
    Give up
    Before I try?
    I won't ever
    find my guy?
    But here's what I think
    All wittty girls are beautiful
    Down to every last cuticle
    And the scars from your past?
    Don't bother
    They won't last
    And Him?
    He's out there
    Waiting for you
    I just just don't know where
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points
17. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    March 7, 2012 6:38pm UTC
    Me: *throws apple at cousin*
    Cousin: *dramatically falls to the floor*
    Me: *histerically laughing*
    Cousin: I thought I was a gonner!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points
18. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    March 7, 2012 6:01pm UTC
    Can you find the
    the mistake?
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
    Hint: It has nothing to do with color
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points
19. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    March 7, 2012 5:58pm UTC
    That dissapointing moment...
    When a sentence does't end the way you
    Spiderman
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
20. dazaghaswag
    posted a quote
    March 6, 2012 7:44am UTC
    Me: *log on witty*
    Me: Sees 15
    Me: Le screams
    Mom: Are you okay? What is going on? Are you hurt?
    Me: I JUST GOT 15 NOTICATIONS ON WITTY!!!!
    Mom: K
    Me: This isn't "k" worthy!
    Me: Go and get me a cake!
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 123 points

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