daddysgirl4396

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Member Since: 12 Jun 2010 01:49pm

Last Seen: 10 Nov 2014 11:19pm

user id: 111967

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The names meagan, i'm a complete and total mess and i can admit it. I'm sixteen years young, but i had to grow up fast and i miss my childhood so much!</3 i can be a great time then again a complete wreck. I have my share of problems but i'm working to fix them. I am single, but my head and heart are fighting about one boy;*! i am a busy girl but i make time for witty<3 well ask me anything
comment;fav;follow:)?

Things to know about me..hmmm.
Witty has become a big part of my life<3
I take part in the butterfly project, well i did..
I take part in twloha day(to write love on her arms)
I'm a recovering self-harmer, i used to cut, and starve myself.
For those of you who don't know what self-harm is it is when you inflict pain on yourself or do any destructivi behavior to yourself, cutting, hitting onself, biting onself, breaking bones on purpose, pulling oneselfs hair, and many more actions. Self harm is not always a suicide attempt or a cry for attention some do it as a release or a bring back. Release is an escape or a reliver it's when people do it to relive emotional pain and sometimes even physical, And a Bring back is when a person feels "dead" or like they're living in a dream it gives an adreniline rush to help them come back to earth so to speak. Hope this helped shed light on what self harm is.
I also do the day of silence to support gay rights,*i am straight, but no people who arent and they're amazing*
well thats it for now,
if you're reading this you're beautiful:)<3

daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
October 22, 2012 7:13pm UTC

Truth is. i'm done with this thing we call "life"

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
August 18, 2012 8:51pm UTC

I could soend another night laying in bed crying and wondering what happened, and asking what i did wrong. I'd rather sit and just type it all out until there is nothing left.
* I say i hate you, but i wish i could. You were my bestfriend, the person i went to when things went wrong, when things went right. When we were fighting, i still texted you first when i passed my permit test because we had childish plans to go to chuckie cheese whenw e could drive for eachothers birthdays. I felt the need to tell you first since you were my first true friend, my first real bestfriend. But now i sit and i think, your number is gone, we're no longer facebook friends and i'm trying at all costs to avoid you. But deep inside i'm waiting for a text, call or you to show up, we both did wrong we've admited it befoer but apparently ir wasn't good enough we thought the goodbye was nessacary but i couldn't say it..i didn't want to it hurt to much. i just miss our friendship. I loved our talks at night, we talked about life about death, about memories and our futures. We talked about where i was planning on going to college because we wanted to make sure i still could come down and visit. Now i may go farther away but i still will come down to visit becasue i still have hope we will become friends again. I miss my bestfriend so much</3
*I'm lost in all my emotions*

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
August 18, 2012 8:25pm UTC

I love laying in bed listining to the thunder and rain , while watching the lightning ..
-Even though the memories flood back while i lay there and tears stream down my face-

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
August 18, 2012 8:16pm UTC

click to see this quote

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 1:29pm UTC

The first step for recovery is saying to yourself
"I have a problem.."
When you admit it, it makes you stronger
Have faith in yourself, and
Always hope for a better tomorrow.
*Remember you don't have to go through anything alone, there is always someone who is going through what you are or has been through a similar situation or even the same. Don't be afraid to ask for help*

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 1:25pm UTC

Live as if it's your last day
Smile as though you've never been hurt
Love like you've never loved before
and remeber
It's okay to cry, but don't spend you're life in sorrow.

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 10:54pm UTC

And i'm the black sheep of the family..

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 9:38pm UTC

I visted my grandmas grave today, along with my grandpa and older cousins. But as soon as i hit the gate to the cemetery tears started falling. I've only been there three times in four years.. the first was for the funeral, second was for the anniversary of my older cousins birthday, and today the third to put flowers down in memory of all them. Seeing her name there broke me..deep down i still hope she's coming home even though i know she's not..
R.I.P Brian Jr. 1990
R.I.P Grandpa 2005
R.I.P Grandma 2008
I Love You All ..<3

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 9:23pm UTC

I want a friend guy friend i can just text when i need to talk, when i need a distraction, one who wont judge me. I want a guy bestfriend to help show me i cna survive this thing we call "Reality"..

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 9:08pm UTC

I lost my bestguyfriend and it's like i have no one now.. All i want is a true friend ..</3

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
July 10, 2012 11:36am UTC

This past week i have been in a bad mood, i've been over thinking things, reliving memories of my past and it's been killing me. Last night it hit me hard, i left my house and started walking and i ended up at his house..why was i there? i'm not sure why i walked there, i talked with his brother than his mom then i got courage and went to talk to him. It was nice seeing him but hurt knowing we were still not friends knowing we couldn't hold a conversation it just hurt and i miss those memories i can remember then like it was yesterday even the fights..i'm sorry. I'm getting tired i just don't know if i can walk away just yet...i'm sorry i ruined our friendship and caused this out come. you'll alway be my bestfriend..

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
June 25, 2012 2:00pm UTC

A best friend is someone who you fight with and fight with and then make up and they still go to your hotel room and talk. They stay when you start having a panic attack and crying, they care. Even though when you're in the fight you figure they stopped caring and they hated you, you still had that hope they cared and were going to be there when you needed them.
Kayla you cared when i started freaking out in the hotel room, when i stoped talking you didn't leave you stayed next to me. I missed you, i thought i lost my big sister. But you showed me i didn't, thank you for staying with me when i needed you and helping me by just staying. Love your Little Sister.

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
June 25, 2012 1:55pm UTC

I promised my Best Guy friend i would stop cutting, i promised him that so many times. I felt bad breaking the promise but he never really cared much. Finally i kept the promise, without him there for me. Six months Twenty-Three days..i couldn't even tell him because he's not speaking to me because our friendship ended. He made me fight that battle alone, i don't think i could ever forgive him. But i'm over it I miss him so much but He showed me he doesn't even care.</3
Now i promised my Bestfriend the same thing, i broke it once or twice and she was there telling me it was alright that people did relapse. She stayed up texting me until i fell asleep making sure i was okay and that i wouldn't pick a blade up..She has Faith in me. She doens't leave me, no matter how hard i push her away she is right by me. She knows now i've made it to my goal six months and she promised me i could make it to a year. so when i do, i'm going to see her and just hug her. She made my Recovery possible by proving to me i could overcome it if i just believed in myself some and that sadness comes but a blade doesn't have to fix it. Thank you Major Me you're truly my lifesaver and my Role Model I Love You.<3
When he walked away,She made a promise to stay.
nmf

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
June 12, 2012 7:51am UTC

30 Day Self-harm challenge
1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?  
3. What is your motivation to recover?  
4. Do you consider yourself “addicted”? why or why not?  
5. What part of self harm do you dislike the most?  
6. What about it do you enjoy? 
7. list 10 activities that help you calm down. 
8. What the most supportive thing anyone has said to you about self harm?
9. Have you ever taken pictures of your wounds? Discuss. 
10. How do you feel about your scars? 
11. Strangest place (school, park, etc) you’ve ever injured yourself? 
12. Where do you keep your ‘tools’? (Your room, in a box, disposed of them?)
13. What is the biggest realization about self harm you’ve had? 
14. Is there anyone you consider to be an inspiration in your recovery?
15. Do you visit any websites about self harm? If so, what are they? 
16. What advice would you give to someone about self harm? 
17. Do you know anyone else who injures themselves?  
18. Write a letter to the future (recovered) you.
19. List 3 reasons that recovery is worth it. 
20. What is the most vivid memory you have of self harm. 
21. Have you tried to stop in the past? What are you doing differently this time?
22. Where do you feel the most calm?
23. What is your favorite inspirational quote? 
24. What are some of your main triggers? Why?  
25. Do you know any statistics about self harm? 
26. What is something that makes you the most happy? 
27. Discuss any and all progress you have made. 
28. What short-term goals do you have? 
29. Do you follow any self-harm blogs? 
30. Post your favorite picture of yourself and write a positive message to look back on.
i haven't been on in awhile, so i'm going to just finish up these.
24.
-Stress, it overwhelms me and i "shut down" and i need something to bring me back to reality.
-Death, i've never been able to hadle it, and i get depressed and then i always think "why not me" or "if i die it will bring the person back" even though i know it's not true
-Being called fat or things (bullied), because most of the time it's about my wieght and thats when i stop eating
-and when i get yelled at excessively, i feel unwanted all the time and getting screamed at just makes me want to disapear and.
25. Not neccesarly statistics but i know Self Harm consists of many things besides cutting and burning and eating disorders, but i know statitics for suicide, for i believe it's every 100 attempts of suicide there are 10 successful attempts
26.
Being around my nieces, nephews, or kids i use to babysit (neighbors) because when i see the smile and laugh it reminds me of my childhood and shows me thiers still hope for this world.
27.
i made progress in seventh grade for a few months, then it went back down. Now i can proudly say i've been Six Months without Cutting but I'm still working on eating normally and i'm getting there.
28.
i want to stay cut free for at least a year (december 3rd)
i want to start eating normally
i want to wear a real smile and have a real laugh again
29. yes on tumblr.

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
June 12, 2012 7:33am UTC

I WASN'T ENOUGH</3
nmf

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
June 12, 2012 7:29am UTC

You'll never see me cry
Because i know it's weakness in your eyes.
-Kelly Clarkson

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
June 12, 2012 7:25am UTC

You said you wanted to fix things?
Now you're completely ignoring me,
I thought you meant it this time..
i guess i was wrong

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daddysgirl4396
posted a quote
June 12, 2012 7:21am UTC

And even if i have tears
streaming down my face
I'm screaming at the
top of my lungs
i will still always insist
I'm Fine