Witty Profiles

Keisha John*

1. Keisha John*
   posted a quote
   July 4, 2013 4:13pm UTC
   That awkward moment
   When you go for a handshake but they got for a hug.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points
2. Keisha John*
   posted a quote
   July 4, 2013 4:10pm UTC
   This is a story about four people.
   Everybody, Somebody,
   Anybody and Nobody.
   There was an important job
   to be done and
   Everybody was asked to do it.
   Everybody was sure
   Somebody would do it.
   Somebody got angry about that
   becuase it was
   Everybody's job.
   Everybody thought
   Anybody could do it, but
   Nobody realized that
   Everybody wouldn't do it.
   it eneded up that
   Everybody blamed
   Somebody, when actually
   Nobody asked Anybody.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points
3. Keisha John*
   posted a quote
   July 4, 2013 3:56pm UTC
   My memory really sucks so i changed my password to "incorrect."
   That way when i log in with the wrong password the computer will tell me
   "Your password is incorrect."
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
4. Keisha John*
   posted a quote
   July 4, 2013 3:52pm UTC
   That awkward moment when
   you hear kids screaming outside and can't tell if they're playing or being brutally murdered.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points
5. Keisha John*
   posted a quote
   July 4, 2013 3:49pm UTC
   Friend: "Do you know any good movies?"
   Me: "Snakes on a plane."
   Friend: "What is it about?"
   Me: "Horses...... horses on a boat."
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 18 points
6. Keisha John*
   posted a quote
   June 13, 2013 8:55pm UTC
   | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l
   I admit it, i really missed how things u s e d t o b e.
   But I can also admit, that i've a c c e p t e d
   the fact that things have changed.
   { Frank Ocean }
   | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l | l
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
7. Keisha John*
   posted a quote
   June 13, 2013 8:27pm UTC
   Unless your name is Google
   Stop acting like you know everything.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
8. Keisha John*
   posted a quote
   June 13, 2013 8:24pm UTC
   That boss feeling you get when
   you crack your knuckles.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
9. Keisha John*
   posted a quote
   June 13, 2013 6:07pm UTC
   Seriously?
   I'm not what you think. I'm not saying treat me like a princess;
   Screw that throw-your-coat-over-a-puddle-thing.
   You don't have to rescue me from a castle, or slay a dragon.
   You just have to like me for me, and be there for me.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
10. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 4:51pm UTC
    I was eating oreos, and I was dunking one in milk, and the cookie broke and sank to the bottom.
    so now I'm just sitting here staring at the glass and wondering why bad things happen to good people.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
11. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 2:10pm UTC
    The story behind ladies first
    Long ago, a girl and a guy were madly in love. They wanted so desperately to get married but there
    parents wouldn't allow it due to their different racial backgrounds. So they decided to kill themselves to
    be with each other forever. They thought the best way to do it was to jump off a cliff. The guy couldn't
    bare to see his sweetheart die before his eyes, so he convinced her to let him jump off first. So he
    jumped off the cliff to his death. But hat sick bast/ard never jumped after him.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 4 points
12. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 2:01pm UTC
    *Funny Text Conversation*
    Girl: Why aren't you answering?
    Boy: Sorry i dropped my phone and I can't find it. I'll text you when I find it.
    Girl: Okay
    Girl: You found it yet?
    Boy: No.
    Girl: Okay. let me know when you do.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
13. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 1:56pm UTC
    I hate when i offer someone gum because their breath stinks and they're like, "Nah, I'm fine."
    No your not fine you nasty Motherf/cker.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
14. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 1:51pm UTC
    Boy: So I heard you like bad boys.
    Girl: Thats right.
    Boy: Well, not to get you all excited, but I don't look both ways before i cross the street.
    Girl: Thats actually pretty dangerous.
    Boy: I know, i dont really do that.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
15. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2013 3:11pm UTC
    "I didn't do it"
    "Then why are you laughing?"
    "Because whoever did it, is a freaking genius!"
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
16. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2013 3:09pm UTC
    When someone says
    "Expect the unexpected"
    slap them in the face
    and say "you didn't
    expect that did you?"
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
17. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2013 2:53pm UTC
    Please
    Don't throw your cigarette ends
    on the floor
    the cockroaches
    are getting cancer.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
18. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2013 2:39pm UTC
    A guy broke into my
    apartment last week.
    He didn't take the T.V,
    just the remote.
    Now he drives by
    and changes the channel.
    SICK BAST/ARD
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
19. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2013 2:34pm UTC
    Three drunk guys entered a taxi.
    The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he
    started the engine and turned it off again.
    He then told them, "We have reached your destination."
    The first guy gave him money and the second guy
    said "Thank you."The third guy gave the driver a slap.
    The driver was shocked thinking the drunk guy knew
    what he had done. the driver then asked "What was that for?"
    The third guy replied, "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME!
    You nearly killed us!"
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
20. Keisha John*
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2013 2:21pm UTC
    I FAILED my exam
    IN some SUBJECTS
    BUT MY FRIEND passed
    Now he's an engineer
    in M i c r o s o f t
    and i am the
    OWNER
    ≈ Bill Gates
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

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