Witty Profiles

cookiemonster119

1. cookiemonster119
   posted a quote
   May 12, 2013 4:27pm UTC
   Congratulations!
   You have finally reached the end of the internet!
   There's nothing more to see, no more links to visit.
   You've done it all.
   This is the very last page on the very last server at the very far end of the internet.
   You should now turn off your computer and go do something useful with the rest of your life. *
   Suggestions:
   Read a book
   Do some public service
   Personally interact with your neighbors that you've probably only met online
   Plant a tree
   Introduce yourself to those other people who live at your house (your family).
   * Please don't forget to turn off the lights on your way out.
   In order to save time, we will now start downloading the internet to your local drive.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 2 points
2. cookiemonster119
   posted a quote
   February 16, 2013 3:59pm UTC
   Hey guys! This is sort of a reminder quote about wearing a pink headband on March 2nd to see who's a Wittian and who's not! Get excited; March is almost here!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
3. cookiemonster119
   posted a quote
   February 16, 2013 3:54pm UTC
   When a male penguin has a crush on a female penguin, he will search the beach for as long as it takes to find the perfect pebble to present to her.
   This made me smile.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 43 points
4. cookiemonster119
   posted a quote
   February 5, 2013 6:00pm UTC
   What if water and air really is toxic, but it takes like 60-80 years to kill people?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
5. cookiemonster119
   posted a quote
   February 5, 2013 5:58pm UTC
   Go to a park with shades on and a hoodie, wait till someone asks you which kid is yours and say, "I haven't decided yet...."
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
6. cookiemonster119
   posted a quote
   February 5, 2013 5:55pm UTC
   5 things you may not yet know about Coca-Cola:
   1. Coca-Cola was first invented by a pharmacist to cure headaches.
   2. If you accidently got gum in your hair, rinse it in Coca-Cola and the gum will come off very easily.
   3. Before 1905, Coca-Cola contained the same plant used for cocaine, but it got removed due to public concern.
   4. "Coca-Cola" is the second most recognized word in the world, right after the word "OK."
   5. The average persone consumes 3 Coca-Cola products a day
   Thanks for reading! :)
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points
7. cookiemonster119
   posted a quote
   February 5, 2013 5:50pm UTC
   "SHOULD YOU EAT THAT BACON?"
   FLOWCHART
   SHOULD YOU EAT THAT BACON?
   |
   DO YOU
   WANT TO
   FEEL LIKE ANGELS
   ARE FROLICKING ON
   YOUR TASTE BUDS?
   | | |
   YES! NO YES, BUT I'M
   | | AFRAID BACON
   EAT IT! YOU'VE WILL KILL ME
   CLEARLY |
   NEVER ARE YOU A
   TASTED BACON COWARD?
   | | |
   EAT IT I AM NOT! YES, I AM A
   | COWARD
   THEN EAT IT |
   BACON WILL TURN YOU INTO A TRUE WARRIOR
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
8. cookiemonster119
   posted a quote
   February 5, 2013 5:35pm UTC
   September ended.
   Someone really needs to wake that Green Day guy up.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
9. cookiemonster119
   posted a quote
   February 5, 2013 4:52pm UTC
   manicure
   (noun)
   paying $30 to get
   made fun of in
   another language.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
10. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    February 5, 2013 4:50pm UTC
    I don't know why everyone keeps saying they're bringing sexy back. I'm right here! I never even left.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
11. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    February 5, 2013 4:47pm UTC
    Dear guy sitting next to me,
    I can see you copying my test.
    Sincerely, joke's on you. I didn't study either.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
12. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    February 5, 2013 4:35pm UTC
    On Friday, March 1st, everyone should wear a pink headband.
    This way, we will all know who the Wittians of the world are.
    Who knows? Maybe a few go to your school.
    You're welcome :)
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 92 points
13. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    January 7, 2013 7:36pm UTC
    LolSoWitty #1
    And does anyone else hate those quotes where it gets a ton of likes but you can't read what it says 'cause of the weird font, and you just really wanna know what it is? I know I do.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
14. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    May 20, 2012 8:18pm UTC
    ur sooo pretty!
    ✉ 50 comments
    ❤ 197 add to faves
    Quote # 5365561 was added by cookiemonster119 to funny 20 Mar
    2012 at 2:18am
    share: facebook / stumbleupon / tumblr
    get code
    report
    omg thanks! u too
    double quote format by Breeze
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
15. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    March 31, 2012 12:11pm UTC
    I was in a bar yesterday...
    I was in the bar yesterday when I suddenly
    realized I desperatly needed to pass gas.
    The music was really loud, so I
    timed my farts with the beat.
    After a couple of songs, I started to feel
    better, I finised my beer and noticed
    that everybody was staring at me.
    Then I remebered that I was
    listening to my iPod
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 158 points
16. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    March 31, 2012 12:07pm UTC
    I wanna throw a party
    with fake alcohol and
    see how many people
    act fake wasted
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
17. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    March 29, 2012 11:27pm UTC
    I got a free iPad and iPhone today!!!!!
    It's like this gun is magic!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
18. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    March 29, 2012 11:25pm UTC
    Things I forget:
    Wearing my headphones
    only makes my farts silent
    to me
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
19. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    March 29, 2012 3:42pm UTC
    Gean: BEN! why didnt u invite mickey to come?!?!
    Ben: u werent invited either... :)
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
20. cookiemonster119
    posted a quote
    March 29, 2012 3:36pm UTC
    You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands.
    For instance,
    if they're placed around your throat
    she's probably slightly upset.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

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