the pride parade was on , and my dad went on to say now that's a place to have a massacure .. instead of killing innocent people . i looked at him and said, dad gays are innocent to , we're all human beings. he said noo god created adam and eve . not adam and steve. well daddy , im in love with a girl , so what now ?
this is begining to turn into something real, im finally allowing myself to fall for a girl again . never thought id ever do that, since sarah left me years ago. speaking of that, me sarah and rylee went to canadas wonderland together. we ended up kissing , holding hand's and on the way back i even slept on her shoulder. the thing is , she only really loves me when other people arn't around. so i told my self , i couldnt fall. fall for her atleast, you see i met a reaaallly nice girl . she's a handsome lady ;) her name is chris . short for charissa. and she's a dall , she makes my life worth living . i went for her because im sick of the games guys play , and i know girl's play games to . but she's different. she doesn't date anyone. she has thing's though. her friends, are my bestfriends as well , except .. they live closer to her. so they hangout with her more than me, they tell me she talks about me all the time . they tell me she want's to be with me , they tell me its real and not to let her go. so i wont, this time ill let myself love her, but not fall in love with her. because usally when i fall in love, i end up falling into a black hole , it's lonly , and its hard to get back up. and enjoy life, for a while atleast. ; i love you ; chris pettigrew
I Let him play with my ; hands, hair, noes & lips. but i didn't mean to ,and had no intentions to let him play with my heart he was my bestfriend and more he was my sole mate, my gangster he was my boy, my love and last of all , he was mine . but i took his verginty away . i stole his innocence .. and with that went his & our spark he was different from all the other guys but with out innocence a guy is like no other ignoring me. ditching me. i never would thought it would turn out this way. we might have been meant for eachother & this was just the wrong time to love eachother or he really wasnt, the one for me. and that thought is what killed me.
I let muic come in and take me away before the pain reaches my brain , and i go insane. i fell for you , and oops , im heart broken again. different guys , all playin the same god damn game claiming they love you , only to destroy you in the end . the sad part is ; i thought youd be..different , you were my best friend.
*Quit worrying about the stupid things. You have 4 years to be irresponsible. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time hanging out with your friends. So stay out late, go out on a Tuesday night when you have a paper due, Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink until sunrise. The work never ends... school does.
*Have you ever really thought about it? You've got this girl, head over heels in love with you. She'd do anything for you, she'd die for you. But for some reason, you don't want to see that. You know it's there, and you know that you feel the same way. But you refuse to let it be. Maybe you're scared of the thought that this girl who you've known forever - you've seen her happy, you've seen her sad -- maybe this girl is perfect for you. And that really scares the hell outta you, doesn' it?
*I've always been the good girl. The girl whose parents that she would grow up and actually become something. But I'm not like that anymore. I never thought I'd drink or snort those pills but I guess I was wrong. Now that I've done it I don't wanna stop. It's like cutting, once you drag that blade across your skin you can't stop. You don't wanna stop. I know you wanted a perfect teenage girl but in reality there isn't one.
* because you really know me right? you know me so well. you know everything about me. my influences, what hurts me, what helps me, what haunts me, you know it all right? you know what ive been through , what im going through, and what i will go through, dont you? you know all my choices and the reasons as to why i made them, right? listen, think what you want when you come run your mouth off about how im ridiculous, stupid, slutty, dumb, ugly, or whatever else you want to call me. but remember that you dont no half the story, and i doubt when your pointing the finger, your own slate is clean, is it?