cannon

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Member Since: 17 Jan 2013 05:33pm

Last Seen: 20 Sep 2013 04:16pm

Gender: M

user id: 346718

17 Quotes
272 Favorites
36 Following
34 Followers
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I'm Cannon. I'm 16. I play video games and drums.
Red Dead Redemption is my favorite game.
I like Green Day, All American Rejects, A Day To Remember, Imagine Dragons, and Against Me.
Jenna McDougall and Pink are hot.
I know way too much about One Direction because of my sister. -_-
Follow me and I'll follow you back.

cannon
posted a quote
May 31, 2013 3:32pm UTC

DID YOU KNOW?
In 1981, 16 year old Robert John Downey, Jr.
served a one day suspension from
high school after snatching a comic book from the
hands of a classmate and ripping it to shreds
while calling him a nerd.
What comic book was his classmate reading?
"The Incincible Iron Man"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 111 points

cannon
posted a quote
May 30, 2013 10:22pm UTC

women belong in the kitchen.
men belong in the kitchen.
everyone belongs in the kitchen.
kitchen has food

👍 this is good · read the comments · 46 points

cannon
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 10:58pm UTC

Just say "YOLO."
I'm sure the cops will understand.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 27 points

cannon
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 10:35pm UTC

I found $40 in my jeans.
The kid in me says buy Nerf guns and candy.
But the adult in me says buy rum, nerf guns and candy.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 29 points

cannon
posted a quote
May 16, 2013 7:03pm UTC

If they put box tops on beer cases,
I'm pretty sure that just 3 of my friends
could end child hunger and the food problem in Africa.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points

cannon
posted a quote
May 15, 2013 10:21pm UTC

If you type in "illuminati" backwards,
followed by ".com" in your address bar,
you'll end up US government's national security page.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 41 points

cannon
posted a quote
May 15, 2013 10:11pm UTC

My laziness level is at 8.
If it lays down, it is infinite.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 62 points

cannon
posted a quote
March 5, 2013 9:18pm UTC

You know why
I order Diet Coke?
So I can have
regular cake.
Follow for a follow.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points

cannon
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 4:58pm UTC

>Be 21.
>Girlfriend is 19
>Been dating for months now.
>This guy named Joe comes out of nowhere into my life.
>He's my new coworker at my company.
>Find out he has no money and no place of residence.
>He moved here for the money and can no longer afford his hotel room.
>I decide to open up to him
>Let him stay in my apartment for weeks.
>Bro is pretty cool
>We play xbox, drink beers, and watch football.
>This continues for months
>Afterwards, find out girlfriend is pregnant
>By tradition, I have to marry her now.
>One night, I'm eating out at dinner with her.
>Joe stayed late at the office for overtime
>I pop the question to my girlfriend.
>She admits Joe r/ped her and the baby is not mine.
>She isn't ready for a commitment after being violated.
>Go home in f/cking rage.
>Throw out all Joe's sh/t.
>Gonna kill Joe when he gets home.
>Joe gets home about 1 a.m.
>As soon as he opens door, I punch him in the face.
>Eyes swell up like a ball of cotton
>He swings at me
>Dodge and sweep his leg
>He falls down
>Go to my room and grab a handgun from my drawer
>Go back to confront Joe
>Joe jumps in his car and f/cking hightails it out of there.
>I haven't seen or heard from him since.
>On the phone a month later with my brother
>He asks why I've been so depressed
>I tell him, If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe,
>I'd been married long time ago
>Where did you come from? Where did you go?
>Where did you come from Cotton-Eyed Joe?
Follow for a follow.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 130 points

cannon
posted a quote
February 18, 2013 5:00pm UTC

REALLY CUTE STORY
Boy: Hey.
Girl: *doesn't say anything*
Boy: I really like you.
Girl: *doesn't say anything*
Boy: Okay.. I love you...
Girl: *still doesn't say anything*
Boy: And I never want to let you go.
Girl: *Silence*
Boy: *eats girl*
Girl: *was Doritos the whole time*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 28 points

cannon
posted a quote
January 22, 2013 5:35pm UTC

I hate One Direction fans so much.
I need my whole room to cool down, but no.
This dang thing only blows one way!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 107 points

cannon
posted a quote
January 20, 2013 9:16pm UTC

Smart people: Aw, you have an F? That's okay. Just study and it will come up!
Normal people: We both gave F! Woo! *high five*
Me: Hahaha, my F is 2 prercents higher! You're an idiot!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 73 points

cannon
posted a quote
January 19, 2013 4:57pm UTC

Not everyone with a mustache is a pedophile.
But every pedophile has a mustache.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 26 points

cannon
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 8:04pm UTC

So...
My principal's name is Budd Sėxton.
And my Sėx Ed teacher's name is Mr. Harder.
Think about it...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 50 points

cannon
posted a quote
January 17, 2013 7:32pm UTC

On an average day, you hand comes into indirect contact with 15 penises from touching door knobs.
Have a nice day.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 23 points

cannon
posted a quote
January 17, 2013 6:08pm UTC

Never dump the guy that will do anything for you,
for the guy that will do anything to you.
(I'm new to Witty. Follow me and I'll follow back.)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

cannon
posted a quote
January 17, 2013 5:57pm UTC

Call of Duty will really make a guy want to join the Army...
until he realizes how many times he's died.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 73 points

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cannon