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brisopunk

1. brisopunk
   posted a quote
   August 22, 2012 1:20am UTC
   rachel: i think me and ross just had a moment
   pheobe: really, what happened
   rachel: well i dont know for sure but there was..... eye contact
   pheobe: OMYGOD, i hope you were wearing protection
   -friends
   
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2. brisopunk
   posted a quote
   August 12, 2012 6:38pm UTC
   my friends:
   omigod thats how i use to draw people when i was little.
   other friend :
   no way
   me thinking:
   you were 5 there wasnt many options
   
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3. brisopunk
   posted a quote
   August 6, 2012 12:07am UTC
   Yo Yo Yo! All you sucka MCs ain't got nothin' on me! From my grades, to my lines you can't touch Kevin G! I'm a mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the third, sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred - I'm Kevin Gnapoor! The G's silent when I sneak through your door. And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don't play it like Shaggy, you'll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she'll be like, OOH! KEVIN G!
   -mean girls
   
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4. brisopunk
   posted a quote
   August 5, 2012 11:11pm UTC
   Q: why does peter pan always fly
   A: cuz he can never land
   
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5. brisopunk
   posted a quote
   August 5, 2012 5:32pm UTC
   harry potter jokes # 27
   What did Harry's godfather say when Harry wouldn't stop poking him?
   "Stop that now. I'm Sirius."
   
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6. brisopunk
   posted a quote
   August 5, 2012 5:27pm UTC
   #8
   Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?
   So no one could tell what side he was on.
   
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7. brisopunk
   posted a quote
   August 5, 2012 5:23pm UTC
   harry potter dirty jokes # 7
   Save a broom; ride a Quidditch player
   
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8. brisopunk
   posted a quote
   August 5, 2012 5:20pm UTC
   harry potter dirty jokes # 8
   I wanna stick my "Sorcerer's Stone" in your "Chamber of Secrets" and release "The Prisoner of Azkaban" into your "Goblet of Fire"
   
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9. brisopunk
   posted a quote
   August 5, 2012 4:45pm UTC
   harry potter # 15
   Yo mama's so fat, when she goes looking for the room of requirement she finds a McDonalds
   
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10. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2012 4:43pm UTC
    harry potter jokes # 9
    Yo mama so nasty, even Dobby wouldn't even take her sock
    
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11. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2012 4:38pm UTC
    harry potter jokes # 6
    Yo mama so fat, she joined the Death Eaters cuz she was hungry!
    
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12. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2012 4:35pm UTC
    harry potter jokes # 4
    on my way to hogwarts
    me : were off to see the wizards..
    
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13. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2012 4:30pm UTC
    harry potter jokes # 8
    knock knock
    who there
    you know
    you know who
    hes dead, you can say his name
    
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14. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2012 4:26pm UTC
    harry potter insults # 5
    your mom's so fat, that her patronus is a cake.
    
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15. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2012 4:23pm UTC
    nerdy pick up lines # 9
    Hey baby, if I were a particle and you were a quantum potential, would you let me penetrate your classically forbidden regions
    
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16. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    August 3, 2012 1:42am UTC
    EVER make up a word so you could have the satisfaction of saying
    "look it up"
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
17. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    August 3, 2012 1:27am UTC
    that moment your dad tries to come up with new texting lingo
    dad: do you want your shrimp btf
    me: whats btf
    dad: battered and fried duh
    me: i would if that was a real thing
    
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18. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    August 2, 2012 11:47pm UTC
    do you every get a little creeped out when people in infomercials point at the screen and are like " you, yes you, could blah blah blah" i still look around the room and am like
    "you talking to me "
    
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19. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    August 1, 2012 3:57pm UTC
    family vaction a vaction that should be spent way from your family
    
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20. brisopunk
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2012 6:29pm UTC
    Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
    
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