beadhrogtyrant

beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 19, 2006 4:15pm UTC

i'm not asking for a Prince Charming
i'm not asking for a fairytale
i just want you, whatever you may be
whatever it is that you are
all you, and i'll be happy
and until then, i'll keep believing in miracles
though they've never really liked me all that much..

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 19, 2006 4:15pm UTC

i'm fearless when it comes to you.
anytime i'm scared,i simply think of you & i'm not afraid anymore...

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 19, 2006 4:15pm UTC

i'd do anything to be where you are right now.
i'd sell my soul to lie beside you in you bed tonight.

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 19, 2006 4:11pm UTC

I wanna make him fall
Fall to his knees before me
I wanna see him quiver in my presence
Just like he makes me feel for him
I want to get him back for what he does to me
It's not fair
It's only right
I want revenge
To make him do anything it takes to have me in his life
To see HIS heart skip a beat for a change
That's what I want
Is it possible?
To turn the tables
and NOT have to be the only one left crying
I cry my heart out
My soul longs for you & your voice
My need...for you
You can't imagine
It's true....I do.....love you.....

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 19, 2006 4:06pm UTC

I want to know you.
I want to know what you're all about.
I honestly can't get my mind off of you.
It's so frustrating.
I'm here, in so deep, and who am I to you?
But I can't stop myself.
There's no stopping me now.
It's too late to be saved at this point.
All I really want is you.
I want you so bad that I pretend to keep myself the least bit satisfied.
I pretend to control my need for you.
I act like I know your touch, your kiss, how your eyes look close up.
I try to memorize your face & your voice but I keep wanting more.
God, waht makes it so impossible for me to feel like I actually have a shot in hell with my perfection?
Is it so hard to jsut have this one thing in my life?
'Cuz I've never ever wanted anything so badly....

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 19, 2006 4:01pm UTC

In this weird and weary world, sometimes it feels weird when I'm not crying. It's my way of finding myself, after all. Reminding myself that I'm still alive. Almost like pinching myself to see if I still feel. And when the same pins and needles succeed in making me bleed, I'll know that I'm alright. It relieves me to know that I'm still the same person. Because I don't wanna change. No matter how much it may hurt at times, I know that that only makes the good times better.
Alot of things in this world may make my heartbreak but that adds to the beauty of my emotions. Feelings of any kind are beautiful because they're pure. You can't fake how you feel inside. I love knowing that I'm capable of feeling so deeply about people & things that it physically hurts inside. It shows me that I can love like no other. And what's more beautiful than love? Nothing is.

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 19, 2006 3:56pm UTC

I swear if miracles could happen, only if, then you would be mine. 'Cuz the way I see it, the only thing we seem to have in common is the fact that we live on the same planet; we're both human.
I could ask myself questions like, "why do you have such control over me?" but I have no answers for myself and I am the only one who could answer such a question, for the answer should be from inside of me and no one else. But no, I know that if I knew deep down in my heart why I do these things to myself, it wouldn't hurt so much in the end.
I give up: my emotions are stronger that me. I'll never get it. I'll never win. So, here I am, carried over to this new world of mine, a world of you, by my emotions. I swear, they're uncontrollable....and I'm trapped in you. Here we go again. God, help me...

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 19, 2006 3:51pm UTC

I don't know what I want better: to love or to leave this sweet sensation.
this curse..this gift...this revelation...
It hurts me badly and only reminds me of what can't be mine
but it also fills me with ectasy beyond my imagination.
It is my imagination, that's telling me that you're the one who will make my dreams come true.
I love to pretend you are mine. to pretend to know the feeling of your lips and your hands on mine. to pretend that you have feelings for me that are just as passionate. to pretend that I am the only woman in your world.
but then, I catch myself and realize, I'm just a girl if I pretend this much. none of it's real. it's all in my imagination...

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 19, 2006 3:47pm UTC

&& I swear, if I didn't love you so much, I'd hate you for making me feel this way

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 19, 2006 3:46pm UTC

It's so unfair
I've inadvertently placed you at the center of my world;made you my everything while,to you, i'm just another one of your adoring fans.
It's not right. My heart doesn't deserve this. I've had my heart broken too many times and my love is too real for me to go through this s*** once more!
I hate myself for loving you. I hate myself for ever being like this in the first place. I only hurt myself this way. But we always want what we can't have. I can't have you. So there. It's settled. So, why can't I stop loving you yet? Why do I still want to think of only you when I lay in bed at night?
It's such a vicious cycle for me. One day I'm madly in love with one guy and the next, it's you and I swear to myself it was always you.
Yes,you've rescued me from my previous heartache, the one before you. But now, you're my problem as well as my love, my weakness. Oh, that's all you do, is make me weak. So much so that I can't make a move without you in the back of my mind. All this, and you don't even know my name?
And I swear, if I didn't love you so much, I'd hate you for making me feel this way too.
So, now I need someone to rescue me from you. To take me away to a world where your blue eyes and blonde hair don't exist. I need to escape you. I'm too far in as it is. I refuse to hurt myself again this way, know that I will, it will happen, it will hurt.It will hurt like hell. It always does. What hurts worse is that I can't stop it. It hurts me like all hell to know that, to realize that I have no capability of separating fantasy from reality. Please, let me say farewell, sweet haunting fantasy!

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
May 7, 2006 5:59pm UTC

whenever I see you it makes my whole day
I want you so badly, please don't go away
but you are not mine, so how can you stay?
one day you will be, I hope and I pray

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
November 12, 2005 11:23am UTC

i know that i'm just looking for a reason to cry
when i dream of you & me
'cuz i know we'll never be
and everyone knows why
and it kills me honestly
because you will never see
what i'm dying to show you
i wanna know you
& if you feel me too
let me know it fast
'cuz my heart's just like glass
it shatters easily
sweetie, please
i can beg on my knees
but i'm too busy lying in bed
dreaming about you
and what i'd do
if i knew
there could be an 'us'

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
November 12, 2005 11:17am UTC

with one look into his eyes, i'm cursed
and my heart has a new reason for beating
i can't get enough, i'm a woman possessed
and when i close my eyes at night,
his face is all i see, his voice is all i hear
and i shudder at the pleasure it gives me
yet cringe at the pain that means he may almost never be mine
he lives in my fantasies, my thoughts, my dreams
from the minute i open my eyes to the second i close them,
everything i do is through thinking of him & wanting to be everything he would want
looking at him, my heart races & about a million butterflies fill my stomach
i can't sit still, i can't contain nor control myself
he's my idea of perfection
staring into his beautiful hazel eyes, i silently ask myself why i feel this way,why does he make me feel like this?
i feel a constant urge to run my fingers through his hair,
to get lost in his arms, & an indescribable need to kiss those tender lips that speak to my soul
nothing i can say can touch how i really feel
there are no words that can explain my love
i've completely lost myself in him
i don't know how to act anymore
i go about my everyday life as if he's there watching me, haunting me
if we're meant to be, we will be but as for now, i can only imagine his soft, gentle touch on my skin
his moist lips merging with mine
his embracing arms wrapping around my body, shivering with every touch
until my fantasy lover becomes my reality, my every breath will continue to call his name........

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
April 20, 2005 1:59pm UTC

I miss you.
I remember all the little things you did for me to make me smile.
I can honestly say that you complete me in a way
that i cannot explain.
'cause no one understands or understood me like you did.
You made me feel cared about. You watched out for me.
And for all this and more, I love you and consider you one of my best friends.
I'll never forget you.....
-:~dedicated~:-

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
April 20, 2005 1:56pm UTC

I'm so confused
Why do I think about you all the time?
I thought I knew all the answers
But now I have questions running through my mind
I don't even know if I can trust you
How do I know if its real?
Back when I thought I knew everything,
I'd only tell you how I'd feel
Now I'm searching for a reason
A reason as to why
Every night when I lay down to sleep
I feel like I'ma cry
My friends keep on suggesting
reasons for my strife
they guess it is apparant that
I need you in my life

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
April 1, 2005 10:33am UTC

the words you say are unnecessary....don't you think you've hurt me enough?

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
April 1, 2005 10:32am UTC

This has happened too many times, It's brought too many tears, broken too many hearts and we've been down for too long. Now is the time when we decide whether its life or death to us...... it's all up to you.......................

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
April 1, 2005 10:31am UTC

I try my best to be there for you whenever you need me but now it seems like you don't need me anymore so what am I supposed to do? So now I feel worthless ....I just wanna know what happened and when things can go back to the way they were before because we've tried so many times. No matter what we seem to do, it never changes and if it doesn't.....i guess if you won't let me stay by your side..........I'll just watch over you from a distance.

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
April 1, 2005 10:28am UTC

it breaks my heart how the same people I welcome with open arms, the people who cry on my shoulder when they're hurt, the people who claim to love me, the people I give my all and everything to, the people I love with all my heart can turn around and either stab me in the back with their harsh words or leave me just when i need them the most........why?

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beadhrogtyrant
posted a quote
February 26, 2005 1:00pm UTC

i love you and i hate it.
i hate coming to school everyday just so i can see your face. i hate it so much that i try so hard to keep myself away from you.i try avoiding you. it doesn't work because the next thing i know, i either hear your voice or see you walking down the hall toward me. and i try not to, but i end up staring, wishing you were mine, watching your every move, freezing where i stand, daring not to move, wanting you to notice me, and most of all, thinking that i wish i didn't feel this way about you because you play it so cool. looking at me with no feelings whatsoever. you see me but you don't really see me. i hate it. loving you and everything you do. when you look at me, i get butterflies. when you come my way, my heart beats faster. i love how you say my name, even though you may have only said it once. you make every word you say sound so beautiful. i can't stand it. i wish i knew what to say to make you impressed, to make you fall for me. just looking in your eyes, i can see everything you are. i just want to be a part of your life. i feel honored to even have had a conversation with you. i'm so glad that i met you and yet you probably don't ever think of me.
that's why i hate loving you.

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