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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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Pluto*
posted a quote
March 19, 2013 2:39pm UTC

The word 'sexy' is no loger censored.
I guess you could say,
Steve just bought sexy back.

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JustAnotherGirlWhoTheWorldForgot
posted a quote
March 16, 2013 1:29pm UTC

My Dad died a few days ago,
He was only 38,
My younger brother is only 5,
My dad was my hero
We lost him to a brain hemorrhage,
In a coma for 2 weeks,
No warning.
Heaven has gained such a wonderful man,
He will be missed so much.
R.I.P Daddy,
I Love You <3
nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 465 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 17, 2013 5:24pm UTC

someone called me fat today at school because
i was eating chips in math class so i looked at them, then to my bag of chips, then poured the rest of the bag inside my mouth and without breaking eye contact, pulled out another bag from my backback and kept eating.

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yourcool
posted a quote
March 8, 2013 3:36pm UTC

one time in high school i didn't read the assigned book
and i was like screw it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some bs about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book.

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LauzHeys
posted a quote
February 28, 2013 2:07pm UTC

"sir 5 homosexuals were killed with one bullet"
(•_•) Well I guess you could say
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)The bullet traveled in One Direction.
No offence meant, it was just really funny

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 29, 2013 7:12pm UTC

friends
are a lot like snowmen.
they dissapear when you pee on them.
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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LalaloopsyInYourPants
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 7:03pm UTC

friend: i see your socks aren't matching today
me: yeah, i'm all about blue but i was just feeling like a pink kind of person today. so i wore both
me: *sudden realization*
friend: Don't do it.
me:
friend: No.
me: I GET THE BEEESSSSSSSTTTT OF BOTH WORLDS!
me: you know you want to...
both: Chillin' out take it slow, then you rock out the show! You get the best of both worlds! Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds.

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Cammie
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 6:20pm UTC

So, I was walking down the street when I saw a guy and girl. I am pretty sure they were a couple or on a date...
Anyways, the guy kept putting his arm around her and trying to hold her hand. The girl didn't seem that into him, but did hold his hand and stuff. He could tell the girl didn't really like him or was weirded out by something. Wanna know why?
He. Had. A. Poop. Stain. On. The. Back. Of. His. Pants.

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swimmergirl3796
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 12:12pm UTC

Clearly Obama flunked his first term
since he's being forced to repeat it again.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 146 points

MyMindBook
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 9:13pm UTC

If I can't untangle something within like 3 minutes then
I begin to start having an emotional breakdown.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 276 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 21, 2013 4:47pm UTC

i used to think guns were loud,
but then i dropped yhe shampoo bottle in the shower.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 320 points

send_me_a_smile
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 3:24pm UTC

:(
I Haven't had any notifications for so long, steve must have felt sorry for me so i got this instead.
Bunnylover43 Format

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taylorday7
posted a quote
January 17, 2013 8:59pm UTC

Last night at Texas Roadhouse while I was working a little old man comes up to me.
I ask: "how many?"
And he goes: "Just one old geezer and the most beautiful woman in the world."
An old woman comes hobbling in on a cane after him and he goes: "Look at her. 50 years of marriage and she still takes my breath away."
I want that someday.

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 6:29pm UTC

friend:
if you're procrastinating and
you know it clap your hands
me:
ill clap later
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 389 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 21, 2013 3:54pm UTC

went to my old coach's funeral today.
i leaned over his casket and said, "walk it off you little b/tch."

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phee
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 4:31pm UTC

Let's face it
anything with raisins in it,
would be ten times better
with chocolate chips instead.
for example: a box of raisins

👍 this is good · read the comments · 846 points

Jahyvie
posted a quote
January 20, 2013 9:43pm UTC

I don't even need a tumblr.
I can just get on Witty and read all the quotes people take from there.

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softballxwin27
posted a quote
January 20, 2013 5:41pm UTC

*turns light off*
*dives to the bed*
*misses*

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yourcool
posted a quote
January 21, 2013 3:41pm UTC

don't try to understand women.
women understand women and they hate each other.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 346 points

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