Okay, winter ball now. If you don't understand what I mean by a lot of this, you would have to read the quote I wrote before this. If you don't feel like reading a long story, skip this..OKAY so I got to winter ball. I was let in free by my friend because she is in student council. over beside my friend, was my ex. He gave me a look as if he had never seen me before. We looked at each other, and through his eyes it almost looked like he was saying "I miss you.." but of course, we both didn't say anything. We kinda just looked at each other. I said a quick "hi!" like I normally do, and that was it. I was having a blast with my friends when you came in. You stayed in around the same group as me, so I could see you the whole time. I didn't know what this feeling was. My stomach felt all tingly and weird and my heart seemed to have sunk. I wanted to talk to you but I didn't know what to say. It looked like you wanted to talk to me as well, you stared at me the whole dance. My friggen ex best friend was flirting with you the whole time, and looking at me every time she did it like she was like "haa, i know how I can hurt you...." So, I told myself I would ask him to dance the last dance. I would see if we could still be friends by any chance. So the last song came on. It was stair way to heaven. Oh man the things that went through my mind. Just the song alone was about to bring tears to my eyes. That was the song you asked me out too. The first song we ever even danced too way before that. It was OUR song. You were staring right at me, like you were going to ask me. Then SHE comes over. MY freakin ex best friend. and she asks you to dance right away. Before I could ask you. Your too nice to say no, or maybe you actually like her and I'm just stupid, but either way, you danced with her. The pain that went through me was unbearable. That was the day my life seemed to go downhill. I couldn't hold ANYTHING as I used to be able too. I almost started to cry. My two very best friends were dancing with their boyfriends, (they are single now, relationships never seem to last for us) anyway, i couldn't talk to them, they had their guys. So i walked over to another group of friends and tried to laugh with them and stuff. But I couldn't stop looking at you, with her. I couldn't NOT hear the music either, just that song brings me to tears. So I started to cry. That's when people ask whats wrong. MAN, when you are trying to hold back the tears, why is it harder to do when somebody asks whats wrong? I start balling, and I run into the bathroom. N O O N E F O L L O W E D M E. They let me cry in the bathroom alone. I got myself back together and stopped crying and walked back in there. I knew I had to face the problem. So, I walked over to my real best friends, dancing just a couple feet away from my ex bf and ex bff. I looked at them, and swallowed any pain that I had. I have been keeping it in since. I slept over my friends house, and once she was asleep, I cried myself to sleep. I realized I still loved him, and I never would stop loving him, and this is the first time I was able to vent about me. It still makes me sad to thing about.....great. the tears are back. good thing I'm home alone. Actually, the only thing I'm waiting for, is for someone to ask if I'm okay. When I say "yeah fine. I WANT TO BE ASKED "TELL ME THE TRUTH" it never going to happen though.
if you read this thank you i know its boring, sorry. :'(