awesomenessisme's Favorites

sksx9
posted a quote
March 15, 2009 4:48pm UTC

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CallMeMari
posted a quote
June 22, 2012 12:51pm UTC

Mom: Do you want any breakfast?
me: Uhh... sure....
Mom: Are you giving me adittude?
me: No, I'm just really tired.
Mom: You know what? You can make your own breakfast.
True Story

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

CallMeMari
posted a quote
September 10, 2012 7:05pm UTC

Swag is for boys.
class is for men.
nmq
moval of credit is punishable by DEATH.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

RingoStar
posted a quote
December 10, 2012 12:19pm UTC

Girlfriend: Hey, I'm doing a puzzle, I can't figure it ou, wanna come help?
Boyfriend: Yeah, sure! What's the puzzle supposed to be?
Girlfriend: Acording to the box, it's gonna be a tiger.
Boyfriend: *comes over* *looks at puzzle pieces* Okay, let's sit down, get a cup of tea, and put these Frosted Flakes back into the box.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 68 points

RingoStar
posted a quote
December 10, 2012 3:39pm UTC

Rasins should be called
Grape Jerkey
. ...... TrT

👍 this is good · read the comments · 153 points

tweettweet3
posted a quote
December 8, 2012 11:35pm UTC

Mom: Sweetie, can you do me a favor?
Me: No mom.
Mom: I'll give you money...
Me: WHAT IS MY MISSION??

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

AlyssaLovesYou
posted a quote
December 8, 2012 11:23pm UTC

"Love with your heart,
not your eyes."
-Drake.♥

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 21 points

TheWeirdKid
posted a quote
December 8, 2012 11:48pm UTC

"I tried to pull a prank
on Dominoes, It went like this
Me: Hello, is this the crusty crab?
The cashier: No this is Patrick
MADE MY LIFE"
Oh, facebook.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 28 points

Landen*
posted a quote
December 8, 2012 11:30pm UTC

I'm not strong any more.
I'm on the floor balling my eyes out.
I need someone.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 42 points

WaitWhoseThatOhThatsMe
posted a quote
December 9, 2012 12:06am UTC

What's the Difference between Handy Manny and BoB the Builder???

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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yourcool
posted a quote
November 15, 2012 7:33pm UTC

"on average, there are seven people in the world that look similar to you."
i would like to meet these people and apologize.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1055 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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sammy*
posted a quote
November 14, 2012 4:57pm UTC

guys...
he just asked me out

👍 this is good · read the comments · 504 points

xxokiraxxo
posted a quote
November 13, 2012 8:02pm UTC

*Third Grade*
Friend: *whispering* You're stupid if you say what
Me: What?
Friend: OH MAN
OH
OH DEAR CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD. THAT WAS AWESOME.
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD BEFORE.
OH GOD HELP ME.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 593 points

HakunaaMatata
posted a quote
November 12, 2012 2:00pm UTC

"Remember that time when you-"
NOT in front of my parents, dumba.ss.
nmf

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 521 points

伤*
posted a quote
November 12, 2012 2:08pm UTC

One Direction backwards is 'noitcerid eno' which means 'perfection' in a language i just made up

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iridescentstorm
posted a quote
November 12, 2012 5:15pm UTC

"Gurl, I ain't no hipster but I can make you're hips stir." ;)
"I'm not a photographer, but I'll shoot you"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 608 points

yourcool
posted a quote
November 12, 2012 7:25pm UTC

harry potter: why don't you have a nose?
he who must not be named:
dumbledore:
harry potter:
he who must not be named:
dumbledore: oh my god harry, you can't just ask people why they have no nose.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 604 points

akp1015
posted a quote
November 14, 2012 5:02pm UTC

me: well, looks like i'm done with my test
me: but no one has turned theirs in yet...
me: guess i'll just wait
me: *waits*
rest of class: *waits*
one brave soul: *gets up and turns in test*
me & rest of class: *gets up and turns in test*
anyone else?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1006 points

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