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allivalett

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Member Since: 9 Jan 2011 08:03pm

Last Seen: 11 Sep 2016 09:00pm

Gender: F

user id: 145397

140 Quotes
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35 Followers
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 Hello there friends! :) my names Allison, but most people call me Allie! I'm incredibly random and tend to be a bit high strung. 
Facts about me:
-I'm 16 years old.
-I love to sing.
-Music is my life, I love Kate Nash, Paramore, Imogean Heap, Ben folds, Mika, Lenka, The killers, 3OH!3, and sooo many others.
-I'm so done with the male population.

I love the show Castle.
-If you don't like me that's your problem not mine.
-I cannot stand the poptarts.
-I try as hard as i possibly can to be myself.
-I never take my friends for granted.
-I have major trust issues.
-I'm the type of girl who can give advice, but can't take it...
So I guess I'm  just your typical teenage girl :)
  1. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    September 21, 2012 6:32pm UTC
    I hate the fact that I can't come to you about anything anymore. I hate the fact that when i need a hug I can't go to you anymore. But most of all I hate the fact that I would givey anything to be wrapped in your arms.

  2. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2012 11:45am UTC
    You make it so hard for me to be so mean even when you deserve every single word.

  3. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    July 26, 2012 3:30pm UTC
    This quote is for my friend Emily, whom I promised I'd put in a few of my other quotes but forgot hehe oops! Anyway, we've become such amazing friends this year and all of our heart to heart convos in chior, and our notes in world history really meant a lot to me. I still have your "HOW DARE HE!!!!!! that is all note" hanging up on my bullten board in my room :) haha, Anyway, for those who don't know her, you should definitely follow her, her name's smurphnem
    #LOVEYAEM!

  4. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 2:21pm UTC
    Amazing goodnight texts <3

  5. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2012 2:19pm UTC
    I will be stronger than this. I will fight against it. and I will not let this disorder define who I am anymore.

  6. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2012 8:53pm UTC
    Just cause you found a new friend doesn't mean I don't exist. And right now, I don't care about him, or her, or anyone else, I just miss you.

  7. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2012 8:45pm UTC
    And sometimes I think to myself, I just can't do this anymore.

  8. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    July 13, 2012 6:10pm UTC
    ,
    CHAPTER EIGHT.
    I sat in English, bored out of my mind, listening to the teacher drone on about something or other, when suddenly, the door swung open. In walked one of the guidance helpers, she was holding a pass oh god, please be me! I wanna get outta here! I thought. Sure enough, the girl walked over to me and placed the pass on my desk. “As soon as possible” she instructed. My teacher glanced at me and nodded, signaling that I could go down.
    I walked down the hall, pulling my sleeve down as I walked. My mind, racing with thoughts. Oh god. He knows. He knows I cut. Oh god. I finally reached the door, where the councilor was standing. “Good morning, Katie!” He exclaimed chirpily.
    “Good morning Mr. Carl” I said plainly. I looked him over. He was a stout, middle aged man. His head was bald except for a single patch in the very middle that looked like chicken hair. I couldn’t take him seriously… we walked into his office and he shut the door behind him. “Katie, I assume you already know why you’re here?” he spoke.
    “Not really?” I replied
    “Pull up your sleeve, Katie.” He instructed me.
    “Oh… that…”
    “Why’d you do it, Katie?” He asked.
    “I was sad and angry and upset.” I said snappily.
    “I see, well, some people cope like that and if you really wanna do it, then you’re going to keep doing that. However, I believe that you should find a different outlet.” He suggested
    “Okay… I’ll try. Can I go back to English now?” I asked.
    “Sure. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.” He told me. I nodded and walked out the door. I turned the corner in the hallway and BAM!! I ran right into Joel.
    “Hey, Kates!” he laughed, “Fancy running into you here… get it? Because you ran into me?” he laughed again.
    My face turned bright red “Oh yeah… sorry… I wasn’t paying attention… ugh. I just got out of guidance… Mr. Carl…” I explained
    “Ugh! That sucks! What’d he say?” He interrogated.
    “Basically, he told me that I was gonna keep cutting if I wanted too and he couldn’t do anything about it so I might as well…”
    “What??? Man, he should definitely win guidance councilor of the year!” He said sarcastically.
    “yeah, well I’ve gotta get back to English, my teacher will flip if I’m not back soon.”
    “oh… ok… well, um, I’ll text you tonight…” he said.
    “ok!” I replied, seeming a bit too desparate. I turned to go, and he shouted after me.
    “Hey! Kates, this might be weird, but I kind of really like you!” He called.
    “I like you too.” I told him. I looked back at him, smiled, and then proceeded to walk down the hall.
    Suddenly, I realized that I was forgetting about Isaiah. This boy was gonna be good for me. I smiled to myself as I walked back into my English class.
    The end.
    Dedicated to L.J., Kelly, And James <3 thanks you guys. love you!

  9. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    July 13, 2012 6:07pm UTC
    ,
    CHAPTER SEVEN.
    No one was home yet when I got off the bus. I thought about how I needed to be thin, had to maintain my weight. Ugh. I’m getting so fat. I thought to myself. Then, I remembered about my huge lunch today. I crept into the bathroom, and slowly eased my finger to the back of my throat, scratched three times, and then I vomited my entire lunch. It felt so good. I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, and remembered what Baylie had said about me earlier that morning, so I went up to my room and slashed my wrist up and down with a razor, then started to scratch myself on my thighs, wishing I could scratch the fat off of them. Disgusting.
    I wanted to distract myself, so I decided to text Joel. Who knows, maybe he’d reply? “Heyyy” I sent, within seconds my phone buzzed in my hands and started playing the song “All These Things That I Have Done” by The Killers, one of my favorite bands ever. I opened the text. It was from Joel, “Hii, how are you?” he inquired. “I’m okay… hbu?” I asked. “Why just okay?” he responded. “Do you want a long story, or me to just tell you nothing’s wrong?” I questioned, half hoping he’d tell me he wanted the long story version, I was in the venting, deep conversation with an acquaintance kind of mood. “Longggg story!!” He texted back. So I told him everything, from Isaiah, to the cutting, to Christina, to the gaining weight, to the throwing up. And he was the most sympathetic, kind-hearted person I had ever talked to in my 15 years of life. The best part? He didn’t judge! He let me in on his life too, which was about a crappy as mine. His mom and dad just got a dirty divorce, and he had started cutting too. But, he also had similar traits that reminded me of Isaiah… But I could feel myself falling fast for this boy, which is obviously a mistake. Didn’t I learn my lesson from last time?

  10. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    July 13, 2012 6:05pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  11. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    July 13, 2012 6:03pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  12. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    May 19, 2012 12:36pm UTC
    Last night, he hugged me so tight,
    and I never ever wanted to
    LET GO.
    Y
    NMF

  13. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2012 6:13pm UTC
    SO,
    Snooki's due on December 21... Looks like the Mayan's knew what they were talking about after all.

  14. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    May 3, 2012 4:04pm UTC
    Hello,
    anybody out there in cyberspace willing to let me vent to them? there's a ton going on in my mind right now and I just wanna vent

  15. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    April 24, 2012 3:59pm UTC
    ,
    Chapter four.
    As awful as I’ve probably made Isaiah out to sound, he really wasn’t. He was there any time I needed him. He was the one who stayed on the phone with me for an entire hour and twenty-two minutes while I was sobbing. And he was the one who knew all my secrets but I trusted him with my life. He was the boy who had been there with me, through thick and through thin. I loved talking to him and I did talk to him. About everything. And it wasn’t to awful that he was rather attractive… his shining blue eyes and his flippy blonde hair were definitely cute qualities, and his body wasn’t too bad either, he’s about 5’6 and he’s pretty slim, but not in that awkward, lanky way. He really was one of my favorite people to talk to. But there were lots of things he didn’t completely understand. “Why do you feel this way? Just try harder.” He would say when I told him about all my anxiety and my perfectionism. “I don’t understand why you need medicine for your depression… you’re strong enough to overcome it on your own. You don’t need drugs to help you.” I know he tried, but when you don’t understand something you tend to try to make up explanations. I also know that he blames himself for most of my problems, especially the cutting, which he shouldn’t. It’s not his fault. Sure he can bother me sometimes, and yes, on occasion I want to hit him extremely hard with a chair, or shovel or something along those lines, but overall, he’s why I’m still okay. A lot of people would tell me that I deserved better than him and I shouldn’t be all hung up over him… But I couldn’t help that. But, I also knew that by liking him, I was beginning to hate myself more and more.

  16. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    April 3, 2012 8:18pm UTC
    Chapter Three.
    I arrived at school only to see the worst sight possible, Christina and Isaiah walking down the halls together. Wait a minute-- I recognized the red hoodie she was wearing--It was Isaiah’s. Wow, what a fantastic way to start my day. I felt sick, my stomach danced, twirled, and leaped and I became light-headed. I could feel my face getting pale and my eyes turning the color of a chalkboard, as they do whenever I become distressed. I had a slight moment of panic, I started to freak out. My mind became so full of dreadful thoughts about how I’d never be good enough or how she was obviously better than me in every single way. But then I started thinking about how I had won first. I had had him before she even knew him, and about how even when she did it didn’t stop our secret texting. I thought about how I would always have accomplishments with him that she couldn’t say that she had.
    My mind flashed back to the reason we stopped talking. It was the day he asked her out. I had decided not to text him first this time. I thought that if he wanted to be part of my life he could text me first this time. Earlier I had sent him a rather sentimental text, and he still hadn’t replied. I tried making excuses, maybe he doesn’t have his phone, maybe he’s busy with sports, maybe he has homework, when all of a sudden my phone lit up. It wasn’t Isaiah, it was my other close friend named Delilah, I opened the message “Hey Kates… can you get on facebook? I’m so sorry…” My stomach lurched again, I didn’t even have to check, I already knew. Isaiah and Christina were officially in a relationship. I walked up to my room slowly, slammed my door shut, and crumpled to the ground, the tears down poured. I couldn’t do this, I thought about my plan, all it would take is a few pills. Just a handful. No, a stupid boy wasn’t worth my life. Then I realized that my phone had an unread text it was from Isaiah, it read “I can’t believe you would tell our secret. I trusted you.” And it was that simple text that broke me down. I couldn’t do this anymore, and I especially not tonight. I went into the bathroom grabbed my razor, pulled the waist of my pants down so that you could just see my hip, and slowly drew the blade across my side. I quickly realized what I did, grabbed the bathroom sink, cried even harder, and watched the little beads of blood drip down to my legs. “No…” I cried out regretfully. It wasn’t even Isaiah’s fault, it was mine. Now I know that the rest of the world sees me the same way I see myself, as a terrible, horrible person.
    And we haven’t spoken to each other since. My worst fear had come true.
    THOUGHTS? COMMENTS? SHOULD I KEEP WRITING? THANKS :)

  17. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    March 30, 2012 6:14pm UTC
    ,
    Chapter two.
    I wanted to text him. Tell him how much I missed him. Explain to him that he was the only person I told everything to. I wanted to ask him about his relationship, which was obviously going pretty well based on the PDA I just saw. I wanted to be as close as we were just three weeks ago. So I did what I most regretted, my feeble hands typed out “hey…” and I pressed send before I could stop myself. Because in reality, I missed how we used to be, I just wasn’t ready to admit it to him… not yet. My stomach tightened as I waited for a reply that I knew would never come.
    That night I did everything in an anxious hurry, with my phone close to me at all time. If Isaiah did end up texting me back I didn’t want to miss my chance or reply too much later. But eventually I gave up, hung my phone on its charger, and fell into another restless night.
    The next morning I awoke groggily, ate some cheerios, and did the rest of my morning routine. I guess that’s one of the perks to my awful case of O.C.D., I’m never late for anything and I always have a schedule for everything. I was out waiting at the chilly bus stop for what felt like an hour before the bus finally arrived, I climbed on, plastering that ever so fake smile on my face, just like every other day. I plopped down in my seat and turned my i-pod on, quickly navigating my way to the song “Blue Eyes” by Mika, the song I can relate to more than any other one in the world. I quietly hummed the first few lines to myself
    “Your heart is broken,
    To your surprise.
    You’re sick of cryin’
    For blue eyes…”
    I knew this probably wasn’t good that I was always listening to this song, but it’s better than my previous form of coping, which Isaiah told me I better never do again… I rubbed my hand over my thighs, feeling the scars.

  18. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    March 15, 2012 5:18pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  19. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    January 28, 2012 5:01pm UTC
    Now I get it... You argue with me because you care. <3

  20. allivalett allivalett
    posted a quote
    January 26, 2012 9:11pm UTC
    I'm done wasting wishes on you.

:)

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