_CoolStoryBro_'s Favorites

_CoolStoryBro_

AustinH
posted a quote
August 18, 2012 11:00pm UTC

Christian pickup line:
Girl: Is this seat saved?
Guy: No, but I am.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 102 points

mayday
posted a quote
August 18, 2012 7:00pm UTC

DON'T SAY
YOU MISS ME
WHEN YOU DON'T
EVEN TRY TO
TALK TO ME.

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iloveyou731
posted a quote
August 18, 2012 7:35pm UTC

I said hi to this girl on witty and she was like
"err why did you say hi to me?"
this was my friends reply,
"Dayum gurl, who lit your tampon string? I is just trying to be a friendly black woman and you totally cut me off! *flips weave and walks off*"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 405 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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juliebrat99
posted a quote
August 18, 2012 7:04pm UTC

a dozen roses: $12
a box of chocolates: $10
a happy valentines card: $2
still having $24 because you're single: priceless.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 892 points

littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
August 18, 2012 7:31pm UTC

A Very Short Lesson in Psychology
. when a person laughs too much, even on stupid things, that person is sad deep inside
. when a person sleeps a lot, that person is lonely
. when a person talks less and talks fast, that person is keeping a secret
. when a person eats in an abnormal way, that person is in tension
. when a person cries about little things, that person is softhearted
. when someone asks a person about you, even if the somone is busy, they really love you.
i learned a lot of new things about myself...like...wut?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 680 points

Andreaxoxo
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 3:18pm UTC

I love being called pretty, but i'll never believe it.
I'm not always right, but I hate admitting that I'm wrong.
I'm almost always smiling, but it'a not always real.
I can be read like a book, but hide so much.
I work hard for things, but don't always get what I deserve.
I'm just a girl, take me as I am ♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 737 points

Terilyn
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 7:03pm UTC

Me: Mom these are the Vans i want to get. *shows her le vans on my laptop*
My Mom: *grabs the laptop and looks at them* Those are cute! We'll get them this weekend.
My Mom: *starts looking at my other tabs* Look, Alex liked your photo on Facebook!
Me: Yes I know. Can you give me my compu-
My Mom: Oooh! What's Wittyprofiles?
Me: MOM I'M PREGNANT!
My Mom:
Me:
Witty:
Voldemort:
Josh Hutcherson:
Canada:
Me: haha. uh. APRIL FOOL'S.
My Mom: But it's not Apr-
Me: Ha. I know it's not.. Silly Billy. ha. bye mom. i have to go.. wash the cat. Pip Pip Doodley Doo! *grabs the laptop and runs*
My Mom: *yells after me* We don't have cat!
Me: PIP. PIP. DOODLEY. DOO.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1513 points

I_Dont_Know
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 6:18pm UTC

Brain: Oh your alarm is set to 6:30 AM?
What about an awesome dream with your crush starting at 6:27 AM?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 967 points

ukuleleplayer
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 3:42pm UTC

Witty:
The only place where people get excited when they
are followed by strangers.

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_brotips
posted a quote
August 18, 2012 1:08am UTC

brotips #1116
don't be that dude that says,
"this is awkward," after
everything. yeah, it wasn't
until you said that.
brotips.com

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rush
posted a quote
August 16, 2012 9:47pm UTC

I hate how some people think that just because you're skinny it means you're healthy. I know heaps of really thin people who only eat crap, but they have a super fast metabolism so they don't gain weight. I used to think I ate pretty healthy, but as I grew older I never got any thinner, in fact, I'm gaining weight. This summer I'm just going to fast until I lose 20kg. Then I will be happy and can wear whatever I want. I'm determine. But dad got rid of our gym downstairs to now I can't train at home. Oh well. The outdoors will do me good. I'm just sick of my family telling me I'm fat tbh.

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BrokenGirl101
posted a quote
August 16, 2012 10:11pm UTC

You gave me this smile just as fast as you took it away...
nmf/my quote

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vanessacp3
posted a quote
August 16, 2012 10:21pm UTC

me:*taking a test during class*
stomach: Oh the room is quiet!! I'm just gonna make some dying walrus sounds!
me: -_-
not my font my quote true story

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 184 points

_brotips
posted a quote
August 16, 2012 11:29pm UTC

brotips #1110
if their phone was actually
"turned off", the call would've
gone straight to voicemail.
brotips.com

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
August 16, 2012 11:52pm UTC

I want to die.
I want to curl up in a hole and die. My life isn't going well for me at all. My mother is controlling and won't let me have any freedom. I can't stand being under her thumb every second of every day. I have hurt not only me, but my boyfriend, who really is the only person who listens to me. I yell at him when my mother is upset, and he listens to it and takes it. I can't keep hurting him or my family like this. My mother has pushed me to my breaking point. I have cut myself multiple times on the arms, legs and stomach. I want to die.

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MsEmilyHoran
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 12:58am UTC

"If a guy does something stupid once well, it's because he's a guy.
But if the guy does the same stupid thing twice it's usually to
Impress Some Girl."
-The Lorax-
♥

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 47 points

Unknownemo
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 4:57am UTC

I miss the feeling of the razor sliding across my skin...
The blood pouring out...
The pain...
The 'control'....
But I made a promise to my best friend that I wouldn't...
She really wants me to stop....
He dosen't know about it....
Yet he keeps the smile on my face...
Replaces the fake one with a real one...
Tonight I won't let the razor take over.
I am stronger than the urge to cut...
They give me strength.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

JustMexD
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 5:00am UTC

Trust is like an eraser
it gets smaller and smaller
after every mistake.
Format by Sandrasaurus

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

Zelda_girl
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 4:38am UTC

Boys are much nicer
when they aren't with their friends
Format: twilightgirl995

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

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_CoolStoryBro_