Witty Profiles

Venenum

1. Venenum
   posted a quote
   August 7, 2011 9:27am UTC
   click to see this quote
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
2. Venenum
   posted a quote
   May 18, 2011 5:20am UTC
   >>> Dreaming of Impossibilities
   Moonlight shines
   down on that face and reveals
   those scars , rippling and glimmering across marble
   skin.
   Vanishing at a
   glance when they speak to you;
   only I can see the confusion behind those sparkling
   eyes.
   I've realized what you've
   wanted all this time, and I know that
   it isn't me.
   How?
   Your eyes may show the confusion,
   but I can also see that pain;
   that warmth;
   that love.
   It only comes
   when you're looking towards her;
   staring at her
   and not at me.
   I like to
   believe that you could be mine,
   but I don't like to dream of impossibilities,
   so I'll stop now.
   allmine;;
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
3. Venenum
   posted a quote
   May 18, 2011 4:43am UTC
   she saw him with her,
   she turned
   and she walked away,
   thinking:
   "i've been h u r t enough today."
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
4. Venenum
   posted a quote
   May 11, 2011 8:03am UTC
   imperfect
   is the new
   perfect
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points
5. Venenum
   posted a quote
   May 10, 2011 6:50am UTC
   Jay's Blue
   well, you wanted the truth
   Well, this is the end. I haven’t been writing for long, but it’s over. I hope you guys enjoyed Jay’s Blue. It was an interesting experience, from my side. It was difficult to write about all these things, these incidents, but I did it anyway.
   I want to thank Alex, for always being there. Christina, Steph, James, Rachel and Cameron, some of the more minor characters – even if you never see this, you guys were amazing inspiration. Be proud, guys. To Laura – I apologize for exploiting your name, for making it seem like I hate you, and for anything else that may have offended you. My little shroom, you are epic, and I don’t want you to think otherwise. Steph, you too. I don’t mean to offend you, if I did.
   And to the antagonist of my darling story. The man I used to be completely in love with, and he didn't even know it. Simon, you were the inspiration. The catalyst to these events, without you, Jay’s Blue would never have been created. Look at the work you’ve created.
   Now, to all my readers. None of these endings are real. 'Long Gone' came close - Laura and Simon are now dating, happily. I'm a little jealous of the love they have, but I'm over him and I'm happy for them. They deserve each other, more than I think they should. But the point of the matter is, this whole story is based on my life from July of 2010 to April 2011. I gave you my personal experiences, and I hope you won’t destroy that.
   ♥
   Jay.
   -------------------☆-------------------
   A last note.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 4 points
6. Venenum
   posted a quote
   May 10, 2011 6:44am UTC
   Jay's Blue
   alternative ending #4;; long gone
   Aching. Hurting. So much pain, in my chest. My fingertips rest lightly on the skin above where my heart strains itself, feeling the faltering beats. My eyes stare straight ahead, resolutely ignoring the pair on the right side of me. They're holding hands, giggling, whispering in each other's ears.
   So, she came around. I knew she would. It was obvious. Why wouldn't she? You have the same taste in music, you both love to paint, you both have the same sense of humour, you're both intelligent. You're a perfect match, you two are. I hiss bitterly, making Laura look up at me and frown.
   "Are you okay, Jay?" she asks. I give her a dark look, standing in my seat. She gives me a startled glance, and you furrow your eyebrows. I stalk from the theatre, leaving several disgruntled people in my wake. I am almost out the door when I hear you calling my name. I ignore you, my heart thumping loudly, betraying me. You grab my arm and spin me around. I wrench myself away angrily - go back to your girlfriend! The shout is ineffective. You stay, staring me down.
   "What's wrong, Jay?"
   Seething, I turn on you. I hit your chest as hard as I can, my fists flying. All this pain, crashing out of me like a tidal wave. I cannot help it. My screams tear from my lips as I do so, echoing through the empty corridors.
   "I love you! I always have! Why can't you just love me back?"
   You are frozen. I run away. I don't speak to you after that. You left one note with my bag when I forgot it once. It said sorry. I crumpled it up and threw it away immediately.
   I don't want to go through loving you again.
   -------------------☆-------------------
   Chapter eighteen. Also known as alternative ending, number three. None of these endings are true, although this one is kind of close to the truth, and I will explain why when I am finished. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
7. Venenum
   posted a quote
   May 10, 2011 6:40am UTC
   Jay's Blue
   alternative ending #3;; flying forever
   My eyes widen in shock, my jaw dropping in a gaping expression. This can't be happening. It's not. I'm only dreaming. This isn't real. Then why are you looking at me expectantly? I can't breathe.
   You touch my cheeks with your hands; a light caress which jolts me from whatever place I was in. This is real. Real. Oh, so real. I can feel tears sliding down my cheeks, warm tears. You ask me why I cry. They aren't tears of sadness. Joy, I tell you. Happiness. Ecstasy. Bliss.
   You stop my babbling by putting a long finger on my lips. We both smile brightly, and then we hold each other in a tight embrace. Your warmth encircles me, lifting me. You're an angel from heaven, the saviour I needed in life. You're my salvation.
   I couldn't live without you.
   Flying high forever, you and me.
   -------------------☆-------------------
   Chapter seventeen. Also known as alternative ending, number three. None of these endings are true, and I will explain why when I am finished. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
8. Venenum
   posted a quote
   May 10, 2011 6:36am UTC
   Jay's Blue
   alternative ending #2;; dark embrace
   So long. So long I've waited for you. I don't want to wait anymore - if you won't have me, then I doubt anybody would. Look at me, rolls of fat, greasy hair, unfit, unhealthy. Who would want a girl like myself? Tears, salty tears, flow from my swollen eyes, stinging the tender skin on my cheeks as they slip and slide.
   My hands tremble violently, fingers slipping on the silver blade, which now glimmers with the sheen of sweat from my skin. I swallow deeply, looking up at myself in the mirror. I'm a wreck this time. But that won't stop me. This is determination. You never had that, not to go for what you wanted. I tried, and I failed.
   I take a shaky breath, a shuddering gasp of hurt and betrayal. That would be the last failure, I assure myself. And this will be the success they remember me for.
   I don't close my eyes. The pain is unbearable, but I purr in satisfaction as I feel the life draining from my body through the deep, jagged wound. I let out a bright laugh, the crimson blood bubbling up in my throat, making me gag. The metallic taste spreads through my mouth, overwhelming my senses.
   I giggle darkly, my body sinking to the floor, the blade clattering on the tiles. Red spots splash across the sparkling white porcelain. This is it. The last time. Remember, you have inspired me.
   Don't forget me.
   -------------------☆-------------------
   Chapter sixteen. Also known as alternative ending, number two. None of these endings are true, and I will explain why when I am finished. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
9. Venenum
   posted a quote
   May 10, 2011 6:31am UTC
   Jay's Blue
   alternative ending #1;; welcome, friend
   It's been two months. You went overseas, to visit Europe with the rest of my group of friends. Alex and I, we were glad for it - while you and Christina were gone, we found we could move on. When you both returned, our feelings had vanished, and we had no more feelings than friends with the both of you.
   When you returned, I hugged you, and felt nothing more than the warmth of a close friendship. The spark I felt before, the racing of my heart, the clammy sweat from my hands, the shaky breathing? It was all gone, all disappeared into the abyss. That was in the past. We've moved on.
   Two months from the last incident, and we're sitting around on the grassy hills, lolling in the sun, chatting and reminiscing. You and I share a memory of the day I asked you out, and we laugh gaily. Loudly. Brightly. Happily.
   Across from us, we both meet the eyes of those we have fallen for. You stare into her bright blue eyes endlessly, revelling in the feeling of love. My heart swells at the sight of your happiness. It begins to race when I gaze at the male across from me. The one who stole my heart, but gave me his in exchange. Your hand and mine link together, an unbreakable chain. The chain of two friends who have felt so much, gotten so little, and then gained everything they could have wished for. Friends, indeed.
   I much prefer this.
   -------------------☆-------------------
   Chapter fifteen. Also known as alternative ending, number one. None of these endings are true, and I will explain why when I am finished. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
10. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 6:25am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter fourteen;; afternoon cinematic
    It's Thursday. I'm happy to be a senior - this year, every Thursday, the school allows us to leave early. At least, after our seminars. I had two today - you only had one. Yesterday, we all organized to hang out. All of us, the old group. I practically skipped to school today. An afternoon with you? I would have sang if I could.
    The five of you leave early. You go to Christina's, while I am stuck at school for legal studies. However, once that ends, I run for the bus. I make it just in time. Once I get to the shopping centre, I see you there. A grin wiggles its way onto my face - I can't help it. You make it do that.
    We go to Christina's. We are watching movies - Stardust and Anastasia, to be particular. You try recording the three of us girls as we sing the lyrics to the songs, but we are too quick for you. However much I want to sing to you, I don't want it on camera. Four of us - you, me, James and Alex - leave early for our buses. The other two walk home, leaving me to catch the bus with you alone. I expect you to sit far away, but you sit right next to me; so close, I could move my knee only a little, and I would be touching you. My heart begins to race.
    We don't talk. It's a comfortable silence. It doesn't bother us. A wry smile crosses my face as you go to your home with a warm goodbye. You don't know, do you? I realized a few weeks ago, but I never told anyone. Not until Alex. Even he didn't know until about a month after I discovered it.
    I'm in love with you.
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter fourteen. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
11. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 6:19am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter thirteen;; historical moments
    We have an excursion today - for ancient history. The class was fun, but you were in the second one. With Laura. Why are you always with her? Must the world stay against me all this time? A sigh escapes my lips as the train rattles along the tracks. I can see you from the corner of my eye - I am not sitting next to you, but there is only one person between us. I wish they would vanish, right now. But they don't. My gaze slips to the floor, but my thoughts linger on you.
    We are here - the entombed warriors exhibition. It's fun, talking with you, hanging out with you in the exhibit. We share jokes, we muck around - and we enjoy when Cameron puts on a French accent and tries to pick up the girls from other schools in the exhibit when we dare him to. Afterward, we go to the Asian wing of the museum. I watch you get excited about the samurai swords with a gleeful smile on my face, but I continue with my analysis of the painting on the wall.
    For lunch, both classes walk outside and sit on grassy hills. I wanted to sit next to you - didn't you see my wistful gazes? Of course not. - but you sit next to Laura instead. I restrain the tears from falling by using my camera to take pictures of the two of you. You look so happy, talking together, sitting together. Did you know she knows? I do. But she wants nothing more than friends - why not me? Choose me.
    We go home, and finally, I can let the tears fall. You're going to destroy me.
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter thirteen. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
12. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 6:10am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter twelve;; broken again
    Life is moving on, moving fast, moving forward without me. I watch everyone pass me by, succeeding already, living up to their standards. I'm in the mock trial team for my legal studies class - we won, but barely. I could hardly feel excited about it, not when you know nothing of my continued affections.
    I watch you from around the corner - there you sit, with your group of friends. You are laughing, talking, relaxing. That is your natural environment. And I see you watch her - always watching, no matter what. You know why I took studies of religion in the mornings?
    To be able to see you more. To be able to catch the bus with you, alone, if only for a few minutes. To be able to watch you from the corner of my eyes, and see you enjoying the class. But you're always watching her, talking with her. With Laura.
    I think it's getting worse.
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter twelve. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
13. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 5:54am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter eleven;; by day
    After the night at Laura's, where I had honestly considered throwing myself into the large body of water and letting myself sink to the lowest depths, it seemed normal. Everything does. Nothing changes anymore - I don't really speak to Alex about you now, I've refrained from giving the metal the satisfaction of my flowing blood, I've made so many promises. Can I keep them? I don't know.
    We've returned to school now. Year eleven, here we come. I get to school early with Rachel, and we sit in our usual place. The school seems empty, so empty. Nobody is here. It's so quiet now. Like a graveyard at midnight, all the corpses resting peacefully in the ground. The quadrangles are so desolate - birds twittering in hidden nests, grass swaying gently in a mild morning breeze, the sun beating down softly upon our heads. If it wasn't school, it would be heaven.
    The animated morning of our first day begins soon enough, shattering the graceful silence. I can see you, walking to your friends, grinning and happy to be here. I bite my lip and turn away, hoping you haven't seen me do so. My friends demand my attention, regaling all of our group with tales of their holidays. I cannot concentrate, for you are on my mind once more - after a week of being without your presence. My heart is drumming up a storm in my chest cavity, my skin is becoming clammy, my breaths are coming out shaky and my hands are shaking violently.
    How do you make me feel this way?
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter eleven. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
14. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 5:50am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter ten;; night conversation
    I lie awake, listening to the pair of you mumbling and giggling to one another. I cannot sleep, for tears are filling up my eyes, burning me with the salty hurt and anger within them. Of course you'd choose her.
    It is a Tuesday night. The five of us - you, me, Alex, Laura and Ben - we organised to stay the night at Laura and Ben's. The twins don't mind; they wanted us over. After watching a multitude of horror movies, playing poker, just talking, all but the three of us are asleep. You think I sleep, but I've fooled so many people in so many ways before. It's just routine for me now.
    I can hear the awe in your voice. It pains me, right down to my very core. I feel the streaking lightning of hurt filling me, electrocuting me with it's intensity. I cover my mouth, trying to disguise my shuddering breaths from your ears so late into the night.
    I cannot take it anymore. I stand, making the pair of you jump, and I walk onto the pier. You don't follow. My feet are bitten with cold, my hands are numb and the frosty wind is freezing my tears to my skin. They cling at the remaining warmth until I angrily remove them, cursing myself for showing such a weakness.
    I walk to the end of the pier, feet bare, and I stand on the edge, arms wrapped around my torso, staring down into the depths of the dark water. I can see tiny streaks of light beginning on the horizon, in the far distance, but I couldn't care less. I close my eyes as more tears escape their confinement. My mouth opens, and I sing a song for the love I feel.
    The pain slowly fades to a dull pinprick. I only wish the love I feel would do the same.
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter ten. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
15. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 5:45am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter nine;; heart's future
    "What is love?" I mumble to myself as I sit by my computer once more. The question has become more frequent over the past week or so. I cannot think of an answer. I am talking to you - you think I'm okay, and that all I'm doing is conversing with you. A sigh escapes me again as I type a reply to your message, my eyes lighting up. No, not lighting up. Glistening. Streaks of tears slide down the warm surface of my body, dripping from my chin like water from a faucet.
    This is love, this pain. My heart aches for you. I cannot eat. I cannot sleep. I can hardly breathe anymore. Why her? Of all people, it was her. She's so beautiful. So amusing. So charming. So unique. I know why you want her to be yours - anyone could see it at a glance. Her porcelain skin, like a china doll, her swirling blue eyes, her intense concentration compared with her distant gazes. She's perfect in every sense of the way - and she's another of my best friends.
    My hands tremble, the metal in my hands throwing off sharp reflections as it catches the light. Tiny droplets of crimson blood pool above the incision in my skin. So small, so invisible. They won't know this time. I can't tell them.
    Why do you do this? You know it's always been you, don't you? The one person I've been crushing on. The one person whose every word I hang onto. The one person that makes me weak at the knees.
    The one person who stole my heart and made me feel what being in love was like.
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter nine. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
16. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 5:28am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter eight;; one return
    We walk. Walk for hours. We cannot help it - we are lost, and don't know our way around here. We've lived here for years, but still we have no clue. The four of us are helpless. We find a cafe, and we sit down. What's funny? James and Alex make me sit next to you - not that I mind, of course. It doesn't matter to me. I'm actually rather ecstatic.
    The visit is rather amiable. We sit, we eat, we talk. At one point, I think I called the three of you uncivilized, as I was the only one eating with proper utensils.
    "Jay," you say. Suspicious as I am, I turn to listen. "Lend me your fork."
    I roll my eyes and do so. In return, you lick it and stick it back in my food. I am shocked, but still I laugh along with the three of you. I share the rest of my food with you.
    We walk for a while longer. Soon, we walk past where I work. We take a seat and eat something. Without the three of you knowing, my boss asks me if one of you were mine. I widened my eyes and shook my head - no. Never. He gives me a knowing look as we leave.
    We walk back to your house. The three of us, chatting about anything we can think of. Jokes, crude or not, laughter; this is what we used to do. Having fun, just us. We take a seat, and you reveal the gifts you brought on your return. Journals, with covers of leather. Mine has a panda on the front. I smile brightly - it was perfect.
    A sigh escapes from my lips as James, Alex and I turn to leave. Time to go home.
    But I never wanted to leave.
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter eight. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
17. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 5:23am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter seven;; this game
    James asked me to be his two weeks ago. I was in a state of shock - you knew. You knew, and Alex knew, and you both encouraged him. You both know I can never like him in such a way as he likes me , yet you encourage him anyway. Why?
    It has been three and a half weeks. Three weeks, I was at the nearby preschool for work experience. I never thought about you once. Not once. I concentrated on the kids, on helping, and on James. Three and a half weeks since you turned me down. I lied. I can't get you out of my head.
    For three weeks, I led James on. I didn't wish to - I thought he could help me forget about you. We went to our formal. I saw you, and I almost fainted. My heart began to beat up a storm within my chest at the sight of you - you looked so handsome, so poised. How could I ever think of forgetting you?
    That night, when I returned home, I sent James a message to tell him I couldn't be his anymore. I was a coward, but I couldn't do such a thing in person. Never would I do it in person... He replied and told me he knew as much. We have become close friends since then, and he's moved on to another girl. Me?
    I'm stuck on you.
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter seven. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
18. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 5:19am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter six;; mesmerizing questions
    I stand quietly, watching you. It is exam day - the last one for this year. It was one week ago today that you asked her to be yours. You should have felt the relief that flooded through me at her rejection. Sadistic, I know, but it burst inside me like a firework. The grin that lit up my face the next day was seemingly unbearable - while all others became stressed about upcoming exams, I was bouncing around like a bunny rabbit on steroids.
    Alex and James knew why I was so happy. I tell them everything. They are two of my best friends. Not even Rachel knows these things, and she's been my best friend for so many years now. She has always been there for me - but she has her own problems; she's obsessed with a girl five years our senior and who lives in Alabama. She says she's in 'love'. Pah, who needs love now? It is an obsession, nothing more, nothing less.
    I cannot see you now. All those assembled stand to pay their respects - it is November 11th. The flag is half raised. A smile lights up my face as I turn to face the front, watching the proceedings. But the drama is far from over.
    A loud thud and several shocked gasps ripple through the crowd. Inside my chest, my heart flutters desperately - somehow, I know it's you. Something happened to you. I feel like crying out, like running toward you and making you better, but I cannot. Instead, I clench my eyes tight and keep my mind on you, but my eyes on the stage. After, I walk past - I see you, sitting on the bench. Your friends - our friends - surround you, asking questions. Claire makes a crude comment about the two of us, including the suggestion of myself in a naughty nurse costume to help you heal. I glare at her, but we continue to class.
    I did it that afternoon. I asked. Your gentle let-down sent me spiralling into another black abyss that night. The metal tastes my skin once more, savouring the sweet taste of my crimson life. But I would still do anything for you.
    Even die.
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter six. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
19. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 5:15am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter five;; sleeping tears
    You did it. You really did it. All morning, I paced and paced. I made myself sick just thinking of it. Alex sat with me all day for support. It didn't help, much as punching his friend Ryan amused me.
    "Jay," he tells me. I hum slightly in response, continuing my steady pacing. "Calm down."
    I can't. Why can't he see that? Doesn't he know me by now? Guess not. I overreact. I made myself this way. See the lines on my arms? They're your fault. It makes me sick, knowing I did that to myself. It makes me sick, knowing I did it even though I vowed I wouldn't. And it makes me sick, knowing I did it because of you. All. Your. FAULT!
    There's the rage. The pain. The hurt. I feel again.
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter five. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
20. Venenum
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2011 5:10am UTC
    Jay's Blue
    chapter four;; laughing storms
    The world is laughing at me. It really is. I was going to do it tomorrow - I was going to tell you, and see if you liked me back. However, Fate just decided to throw a wrench in the otherwise-smooth workings of my plans. My feet pound loudly against the sidewalk as I walk home from my bus stop, the muscles in my face tensed so I won't let out the tears. Why would this happen to me, right at this time?
    It begins to drizzle - just a light spray of water falling from the sky, showering me in droplets. My gaze falls to the ground as I continue to walk - it doesn't matter if I look, I could walk the whole way home with my eyes closed if I had to. Then, the sleet begins. As if the world was upturning buckets above me, the water poured down, all around me and through me. Water seeps through my clothing, feeling my skin with icy fingers. I can feel it washing through me, and I shiver terribly with the cold.
    That's when I let the tears fall. Nobody will notice, not when there's water dripping from every crevice of my clothing. I go home, and later that night, my family leaves for a school function. I refuse to go, excusing myself by pretending to be sick. Fools, they are. They believe me.
    That night, blood flows. Self-inflicted, metallic wounds. I do not hiss in pain that night - it is nothing compared with the heartbreak of knowing the person you like, instead likes one of your best friends. You plan to ask her to be yours tomorrow - something I wish would happen to me instead. I want to hate her. I do. I want to hate you. I really want to. But I can't. Neither of you deserve my hatred. You deserve something more; you both deserve to be happy. And who am I to get in the way of your happiness?
    I would do anything for you if you asked me.
    -------------------☆-------------------
    Chapter three. Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles