"Aw, please text me. Why hasnt he texted me? Am I boring? Does he not like me anymore? Am I too much? Is there something wrong with me?" phone buzzes texts says: hey "OMG HES SO CUTE HES IN LOVE WITH ME"
A guy was walking along the beach, found a bottle, and picked it up. A magical genie popped out and said, "Thanks for letting me out. For your kindness I will grant you one wish." The guy said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I can't because I'm afraid to fly and ships make me deathly sick. My wish is for you to build a highway from here to Hawaii." The genie replied, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Think of the huge pillings we woud need to hold up that highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. And think of all the cement that would be needed. Plus, since it's such a long span, there would have to be gas stations and rest stops along the way. No, that's just too much to ask. Impossible. Think of another wish." The guy thought for a moment and said, "Well, there is one thing I've always wanted to know. I'd like to be able to understand women - what makes them laugh and cry, why are they so temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with ...you know, what makes them tick?" The genie thought for a second, then asked, "Do you want that highway with two lanes or four?"
My dad has been so aggy ever since he got his new car. Every time he sees another Mercedes on the street he honks at it and when I give him a look he always says "What? Everytime you see your brother or sister on the street you say hi to them."
I guess I thought if I loved you enough, it would fill the space between us, and press against the walls. There would be cracks and fissures in the sheetrock. And maybe, just maybe, the pressure would be enough to keep us from falling apart.