TylerLumberjack's Favorites

TylerLumberjack

Carson54821
posted a quote
March 5, 2013 5:40pm UTC

greetings all wittuhprofalzers
There was once a forest! And in that forest was a man who was vurry skinneh.
One day his daughter drew a stick figure of the man and said, "look DADDIO, this is you! It looks just like you!"
The man looked and began to cry, as he had self-image issues and couldn't handle the obvious criticism.
Then some freak came a'walkin by them. The man said, "you can have this little girl. She's evil. But be warned, she's a meanin."
The freak said no.

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carson5482
posted a quote
July 20, 2013 5:57pm UTC

Taylor Swift's song "We are never getting back together"
is actually about her legs.

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Infinity on high*
posted a quote
June 1, 2013 12:15am UTC

"You're tacky and I hate you."

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Infinity on high*
posted a quote
June 1, 2013 12:18am UTC

Witty Profiles is more fun with friends. Tell your friends about Witty.
Come on. Tell them. It'll ruin your life.

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carson5482
posted a quote
May 31, 2013 3:15pm UTC

When an ad starts playing music
in one of my browser tabs...
Me: I will find you.
Me: And I will kill you.

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carson5482
posted a quote
May 31, 2013 3:24pm UTC

When I die, I want
my ashes scattered across the Internet.

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carson5482
posted a quote
May 31, 2013 4:20pm UTC

These
are
really
freaking
annoying.
<3Look at the top left corner for a surprise. :)
(nmf)

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carson5482
posted a quote
May 31, 2013 2:50am UTC

I hate how Wittians claim to
stay up all night on Witty and then
once night time comes, only like,
5 other people are online,
including me. It's a sad life we lead...

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carson5482
posted a quote
May 30, 2013 2:13pm UTC

Turtle: Nothing is slower than me.
Snail: You sure?
Internet Explorer: B/tch please.
Follow me. :)

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carson5482
posted a quote
May 30, 2013 3:36pm UTC

Kanye West is the Kanye Best.
Better than the Kanye Rest.
This is no Kanye Jest.
We are all Kanye Blessed.
I'm screaming at my phone but you still aren't stopping.
Why is this even happening?
You cannot stop my Kanye Quest.
Follow me. :)

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Dishonored*
posted a quote
May 30, 2013 12:17am UTC

How come it's "cute" and "trendy"
to wear a bandeau as a shirt,
but if someone wears a bra
as a shirt, it's "sl.utty" and
you're a "wh.ore"?
They're basically the same.

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carson5482
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 10:21pm UTC

Imagine if school was like this:
English: Writing biographies about the band.
Math: How to multiply band members.
Science: How to clone band members.
Gym: How to get to the barrier at concerts.
Art: How to make fan art and signs for concerts.
Geography: How to find band members' houses.
History: About the band members' past years.

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carson5482
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 10:46pm UTC

Yeah, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
But how many of them have low standards?

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carson5482
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 6:22pm UTC

Me: Wow, I have so much work to do.
Me: --goes on tumblr--
Me: --watches a movie--
Me: --writes a novel--
Me: --teaches myself sitar--
Me: --climbs a mountain--
Me: --backpacks through Europe--
Me: Why am I not getting anything done?

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carson5482
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 5:41pm UTC

The little kid next door just
opened his window and yelled
"What is 27 plus 4?!"
and I yelled "It's 31!!"
and he said "Thank you God Lady!!!!"

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TylerLumberjack
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 6:14pm UTC

What comes before part B?
PARTAY!
#TylerLumberjack
follow

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
May 28, 2013 3:09am UTC

my top 3 things (shhh someone made one of these and put me under fav wittians so i thought i'd try one out!!!!!)
tv shows- supernatural (who would've guessed?) sherlock (wow so original lizzy tell me more) and hannibal
actors- misha collins, stana katic, jennifer lawrence
colors - dark blue, green, peach
scents/smells - cinnamon, coffee, rain
wittians - sarah!!! (you know which sarah you are) rec0ver, br0kendreams (i have literally almost never spoken to the last two but they are 2 of the 4 people i follow and their quotes are a++++)
activities- sneaking out and getting high. jk jk drinking coffee, writing things and petting other people's animals.
mythical creatures- angels (a la supernatural), dragons, unicorns
youtubers- danisnotonfire, ItsWayPastMyBedtime and nerimon!!!
instruments- um piano, flute, vocal chords if they count???? i like listening to those 3 but i can only correctly utilize the first one.
books series(s)- mistborn series by brandon sanderson, inheritance trilogy by christopher paolini, the harry potter series of course.
movies- the avengers, every harry potter one ever, and the hunger games because that was the first movie i went to see with my first boyfriend c:
must-have clothing items/accessories- comfy pants. warm things. fluffy socks. i am a creature of comfort.

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*Yours Truly*
posted a quote
May 28, 2013 2:18am UTC

No,
I wasn't crying. I was testing my eyes to see if they would become overly moist from an overwhelming amount of emotions.
My theory was proven.

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TylerLumberjack
posted a quote
May 28, 2013 1:45am UTC

Always borrow money from a pessimist...
He won't expect it back.

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TylerLumberjack
posted a quote
May 28, 2013 1:51am UTC

I got a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.
And you read that last sentence twice to make sure I didn't trick you again.
;) <3
#TylerLumberjack

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