I'm just a girl trying to make her way in the world. I'm pretty weird, but I'm proud of that. I battle with depression every day, and my poems and quotes express my inner most feelings. I don't think highly of myself, but I'm content with who I am. Im me and that's all I can be. Flaws and all.
*INHALE* Hold it feel the calmness move through you *exhale* Now just because it it frowned upon Does not mean that it doesn't help When the only thing in your mind is Panic Anxiety Depression And you can't think of anything else But what is going wrong And things that hold no ground Taking a toke off that good stuff Is the only thing that feels Right
The need to cut is like an itch I cannot scratch All I want is that blade slicing through my skin Taking away the pain you caused Making it hurt less Why do you always threaten to leave me? Don't you know how much that kills me? Do you even care? If there is no care in that What's the point of being here? I am just a failure A horrible, messed up failure All I want is to slice my skin open Feel the pain that doesn't hurt Blind the pain that is there Watch as the red pools over Spills down the beautiful white skin Why am I so messed up?
Dreamland I want to go to the place Where I can escape my failures and mistakes I want to go to the place Where I can leave all the hate behind and find joy and happiness instead I want to go to the place Where I can be free And be whatever I want I want to go to my Dreamland
It's so easy to write about the pain It's so easy to let the negativity in It's so easy to rely on the bad and forget the positivity that is there You're alive You're breathing And against all the odds you thought was You're happy It's time to focus on the positive Time to focus on the good in life It's time for a change
This is new for us both and it will be a journey Hard and difficult we might hate each other at times But we will get thru this We have both waited too long to be happy to be loved We can do this every thing WILL be ok I promise baby
Would not feeling be such a bad thing?No more pain or agonyNo more misery or sadnessThe only thing there will be isNothingAn empty shell moving around Uncaring and unlovingJust being alive and hoping every day will be your lastWhat's the point of staying alive if you don't feel alive?I'm done putting on a showI'm done pretending I'm okayI am not okayI'm low, dark, lost, broken, and UnfixableSome damages will never come undoneSome damages change who you are foreverAnd there's no turning back
How did this happen? What have I done? I was so happy with him He was everything I have ever wanted Then I ruined it All because of a stupid little thing How could I have let the fear control me? Always putting myself down and believing I'm not good enough Letting the toxic thoughts come to the surface I know I shouldn't I know that I should have dismissed them Why must I sabotage myself? Why can't I let myself be happy? Why can't I believe that I am good enough to be loved? I ruined my happiness I hurt him so bad I wish I could take the pain from you I wish I could take back what I did All I want is you My reason to smile and laugh Why do we realize too late that were in love? Why does it take losing them to make you realize how much you need him? I want the touch of your hands on me, I want your lips on mine I just want your attention, your gaze on me, your arms around me I want you I need you I am so lost without you I promise I'll be yours, forever I promise I won't leave, not until you don't want me Without you, I am a robot Moving through time, mechanically, getting up only because I must Going through the motions, putting on a fake smile Numb, empty, and emotionless Everything in me is screaming to give up But I can't let go of the hope that there might be a chance If you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise I'll never hurt you again I promise I'll let go of the fear and insecurities I promise I'll stop letting it control me Please, my love, take me back I might be stupid, insecure and a bit crazy But you'll never find anyone else who's in love with you as much as me
My love for you burns through me like a fire I crave your touch The feel of your body against mine The warmth of your breath The taste of your lips I want you, I need you You are the reason I live For the first time in forever I feel You are my happiness, my strength The one who has finally made that numbness fade And the emptiness go away I am yours and you are mine till the end of time I love you My Codybear Forever and Always From here to Eternity
I just sit there and this feeling comes I want to take that razor Slice open my wrist and see the blood I need the pain I need to feel Is this the only way? I don't even have a reason I just want to cut I love the rush Because I'm feeling something And it's beautiful In a messed up way It's my drug And I never want to stop
1. What color is your toothbrush? Purple 2. Name some people who made you smile today: Caleb and Jenny 3. What were you doing at 8 AM this morning? Sleeping 4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Watching Saw III 5. What is your favorite chocolate bar? Reeses 6. Have you ever been to a strip club? No 7. What is the last thing you said aloud? I just liked it too 8. What is your favorite ice cream? Vanilla 9. What was the last thing you drank? Half and half tea 10. Do you like your wallet? Yep 1. What was the last thing you ate? A brat and pasta salad 12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope 13. The last sporting event you watched? Hockey game 14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Chedder cheese 15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My cousin 16. Ever go camping? Yeah 17. Do you take vitamins daily? No. 18. Do you go to church every week? NOPE 19. Do you have a tan? Not really 20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Hell no 21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? No 22. What did your last text message say? "Im home unlock the front door" 25. Look to your left, what do you see? A wall. 26. What color is your watch? I dont have one 27. What do you think of when you hear Australia? Kangaroos 29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive Thru 30. What is your favorite number? Idk 31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone? Alex 32. Any plans today? I had a doc appt 33. How many states have you lived in? 2 34. Biggest annoyance right now? My Family 35. Last song listened to? Idk 36.Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes 37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? LOL no 38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Converse 39. Are you jealous of anyone? Yes 40. Is anyone jealous of you? Idk 41. Do you love anyone?Yes 42. Do any of your friends have children? Adult friends 43. What do you usually do during the day? Nothing 44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? Yes 45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? No 46. What color is your car? I dont have one 47. Do you like cats?Yes 48. Are you thinking about someone right now?Yes 49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yep 50. How did you get your worst scar? I cut myself...
I never actually thought I'd lose you My heart is broken and bleeding twisting and breaking into little pieces The pain is becoming too much I'm starting to go numb I dont know if i can handle this anymore My guard is going up Stronger than any before I will not let my heart get broken again
I can feel my heart breaking It hurts so bad And as these tears flow And the gut-wrenching sobs take over All I can do is let the pain overcome me All I can think is what did I do Why did I make this stupid mistake Because now I lost you forever And I'll never get you back Thats what hurts the most I love you always Even though you'll never know
SURVEY: Name: Tiffany Single or taken: Single Gender: Female Birthday: October 9 Siblings: 3 sisters and 4 brothers Hair colour: Auburn Eye colour: Blue Height: 5'5" R E L A T I O N S H I P S Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: Bi Who are your best friends? Alex, Hayley, Tommy, Wyatt, Holly You have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Nope F A S H I O N | S T U F F Where is your favorite place to shop for clothes: Hot Topic Any tattoos or piercings?: 1 Tattoo What is your most comfortable outfit?: jeans and a hoodie What do you usually wear?: same as above S P E C I F I C S Do you do drugs? Yup What kind of shampoo do you use? Suave What are you most scared of?: Being rejected, not accepted What are you listening to right now?: TV Who is the last person that you called?: My mom Who is the last person that called you?: Doc office Where do you want to get married?: Somewhere warm What would you change about yourself: Too much to list F A V O R I T E S Colors: Neon green, Purple, Black Foods: Steak and Pizza Movies: Burlesque, Disney H A V E | Y O U | E V E R Given anyone a bath?: My little sister Smoked?: Yup Bungee jumped?: No but i want to Made yourself throw up?: Ew no Skinny dipped? No Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: A couple times Cried?: Plenty Lied?: Yeah Fallen for your best friend?: Yes Used someone?: No Done something you regret?: I live life with no regrets Self-harmed: Yes L A S T | P E R S O N You left a message for: I dont remember You texted: My friend Christine You cuddled with: Jake A R E | Y O U Understanding: Yes Open-minded: Yes Insecure: Yes Hungry: Always Smart : I like to think so Moody: Sometimes Hard working: Most of the time Organized: Not really Healthy: No Difficult: Most of the time Bored easily: Not always Angry: At myself Sad: Too sad.... Happy: Never Hyper: Yeah Trusting: Depending on the person