So my ex Matt and I have been talking again. We stopped because of reasons but he said he regrets that. A lot of stuff has happened not just in person but the things he's told me. I thought I finally got over him I really did. But hey here he is again making me fall all over again for him. Tonight he texted me and asked me to lay down with him. I thought he was joking like he always was so i replied with something silly. He replied with something and also said "can't I miss flirting with you? ;p " and that he just wanted somebody to lay down with. I didn't know he was flirting with me because after everything thats happened I didn't think he would want to. But he still does flirt with me(: and that makes me happy. The other day he said "I love you buddy" but it made me happy because he told me he loved me. Even if he means it just as a friend it still left me a happy girl. I hope that someday in the future we end up together again but I'm happy with our friendship. It's been 8 months now since I've been trying to get over him. But I feel like he just doesn't want that. I feel as if I'm missing something but I just can't see it. I wish I knew what he felt or was feeling but for now I am happy with just the way things are(:
Remember my 11/30/10 relationship? Because I sure do. A few months is when I lost him. 9/25/11 he broke up with me. I lost the love of my life. The guy I've dated for 8 months and had a tiny break in between. He left me for my exbestfriend. And after I found that out a lot of things went down. I kept getting into fights with him and not only did it end our relationship but it also ended our friendship. I dated two guys during the months hoping to get over him. I couldn't help but cry and miss the things we did. Yeah it was hard it felt like I'd never get him back. I tried to move on and I got into drinking. It made me feel happy and forget about all of those horrible things that happened. The first guy I dated broke up with me do to distance. But I didn't really feel hurt. I thought I liked him but I didnt. So a month after that I dated another guy for two months. And I didn't really even have any feelings for him either. It was Febuary 5 months after losing him. I still wasn't over him and my feelings for him stayed the same. I ended up breaking up with the guy because I didn't really feel anything for him either. I thought I liked 3 guys after that but it was just a simple little phase. Since than I went through a lot of stuff and went into depression. I couldn't stand it I felt like I was just losing everything and everybody around me. So I don't know why but I just sent him this long message on FB which was on Febuary 24th. I explained so much in that message but I thought he was just goning to reply with something mean or still hate me. But he actually replied back and was being nice to me. Since that day on we started talking again a lot. He knows that I still have feelings for him and he's ok with it. I told him that I thought it was time to try and get rid of those feelings I still have for him. But it doesn't seem he wants that. He smokes cigs and gets high. Am I happy with that? No. But I got over it. I was so happy to finally have him back in my life and become friends again. And we talked about a lot of things and it was settled. We became smoking buddies and would hook up. He came over Friday night. We both got high and just did things together. Honestly it was one of the best Friday nights I've ever had. That boy still makes me happy even after everything that happened. But we both moved on from what happened months ago and now we are here. Today he walked from school to my house. We hung out in there and just pretty much made out. Not saying what else we did but that's all we seemed to do. I missed being with him so much. I couldn't stop smiling the whole time. He even made a heart with his hands to me. I felt really amazingly happy just seeing that. No we aren't dating but it sure feels like it. Do I want to date again? You don't know how badly I want that. But for now him just being in my life like this is enough for me. There are times where he flirts with me and I'm always flirting with him. But I'm just not really sure if he still has any feelings for me. I hope he does because that would just mean a lot to me. I want to say "I love you." to him so badly. But I know I can't. It just kills me inside knowing he's not mine and probably wont ever be again. But he's mine in friendship again. And that's enough to make me the happy little girl I was when we were dating. And since we started talking again I've felt like I'm changing. But I'm really glad I am because I know I can get along better with him now. I'll always love you Matt and because of what you're doing it. It just makes it harder for me not to love you. 11/30/10 was one of the best days in my life. And it sure as hell wont be a date that I forget about. You still mean everything to me and I just want you to see that.
FramingMatthew R.I.P. I wish you never had cancer maybe than your girlfriend SocietyKilledTheTeenager wouldn't have to be crying her eyes out. I never got to meet you but all your quotes were really good and helped out a lot of girls that had so many problems. I hope that you will always remember us and watch over your family, friends, and someone who loved you a lot. Rest in peace man. </3
I kept all the stuffed animals he ever won me because that's all I've got left of him that I hold close to me. I was stupid and got rid of everything else thinking it would delete him. But you can never delete true love even if the other person doesn't feel the same back anymore It doesn't hurt to have hope to have faith and to believe either. That's all I can do right now and that's all I plan to do right now. After all they always said to fallow your heart right? So that's what I'm doing baby steps at a time. </3 P.S. ILoveYou<3
No matter what guy I think is cute or end up dating you'll always be the only guy that forever and always is stuck with my heart. As much as I want it back I really don't I want you to keep it forever and never give it back I still love you Matt. My feelings for you never ever have changed even though you hurt me badly twice and made me cry so much I'm completely and utterly in love with you. Even though you don't love me or miss me or even probably don't want me back I still do. You're my first love and i can't ever get any feelings for any other guy and I don't think I ever will. Matt you may not know it but I truly do miss everything we had and I wish we could go back to it all I know my mistakes and I know all the other problems. I'm sorry for ever making them and for all those times when we had problems and just ignoring them instead of working them out. I don't think I've really ever been happy since you left me and it still hurts knowing that I could maybe never be yours again. I wish you would talk to me again and I wish that my number was unblocked too..I have hope I don't know how but I have hope that maybe we'll end up getting back together. Maybe not now but hopefully in a few months something will happen and you'll be missing me again and having your feelings for me come back and wanting to be with me. I'll always and forever love you Matt please don't ever forget that I'm always here for you</3
11/30/10. That's the date that started our relationship and we are keeping that date<33 Screw that new date that I put up on here yesterday(: I love my butt face just as much as he loves his boo<33 I know it may seem confusing that on the 30th of this month it'll be our 9 months and then 10 months and then our one year but that's only because he broke my heart just before our 9 months. But everything's alright because either way it's still gonna end up as a one year(: M.J.R. the love of my life and my best friend<33
I always seem to be daydreaming about our future together About our two kids we'll be having Jayden and Emma me and him already have our whole future planned out Where we're going to get married and how the wedding it going to be who's going to be there having the perfect house with the perfect job I've never been in love as much as I am now it feels like everything has changed he makes everyday better and better My face hurts so much because he always makes me smile I know this will last forever because we both can feel it The only funny part is I'm 15 and he's 14 we've been dating two months and he's my best guy friend<3 I love you so much baby<33(: All mine~