right now it's 11:43 on a Sunday night. right after the VMA's i didn't watch. i want to be should be sleeping, but i'm staying awake because i feel so lost i'm not tired. i get a water from the fridge because i feel fat make some hot chocolate to help me fall asleep. i turn off my phone because if i text someone, i might break down and vent out everything i'll get wrapped up in a conversation. tomorrow, i'll see my ex bestfriend and she'll look away we'll hug and gossip. tomorrow, at lunch i'll hide in the bathroom so no one can see me eat just an apple and not have anywhere to it sit with my friends and eat the hot lunch and not think twice about it. at the end of the day, i'll walk home, do my homework, cry, pinch my thighs,and wish i knew why i don't have a 'him' to think about and think about him. i am so sick of everything strong. Click the Heart if i'm not alone. Comment if this is your perfect lie life. ihateeverythingandthestupidjokeofalifeisopolitelykeeptomyselfbecausenoonewantstolisten Goodnight. this helped, i needed to tell someone/everyone/witty/the world.