And I remember when I met him. It was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew right away. And as the years went on things got more difficult, we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay, tried to remember what we had in the beginning. He was charismatic, magnetic, electric, and everybody knew him When he walked in every woman's head turned. Everyone stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn't contain himself. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him. And in that way, I understood him. And I loved him, I loved him, I loved him, I loved him. And I still love him, I love him.
I was in the winter of my life, and the men I met along the road were my only summer. At night I fell asleep with visions of myself, dancing and laughing and crying with them. Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour, and my memories of them were the only things that sustained me, and my only real happy times. I was a singer - not a very popular one, I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet, but upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken. But I didn't really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted, and then losing it to know what true freedom is. When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I'd been living, they asked me why - but there's no use in talking to people who have a home. They have no idea what it's like to seek safety in other people - for home to be wherever you lay your head. I was always an unusual girl. My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean. And if I said I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I'd be lying. Because I was born to be the other woman. Who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone. Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.
People think of you the way they remember you. People remember you by the way you made them feel and the things you said to them. They will sometimes remember the good things you said to them and the good ways you made them feel, but they will ALWAYS remember the bad things you you said to them and the bad ways you made them feel. So the next time you are about to do something you'll regret or you are about to say something hurtful, you might want to think twice about it. Ask yourself if you want if you want to be thought of and remembered as a hurtful person.
We make choices in this world. Some big, some small, and some that change our lives forever. As we go on with our lives, those choices are what define us. And when we die, the choices we made are what we are remembered by.
"Suddenly it was as if the roar of the crowd, and the cheers of my teammates were all sounding from a thousand miles away, and what remained in that bizarre muffled silence was only Peyton, the girl whose art and passion and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship but simple clarity, the realization that we'd always been meant for each other and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth: I was now and always would be in love with Peyton Sawyer." ~One Tree Hill
Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.
Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do, give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.
Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there, because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't. But then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong only because it's so unfamiliar, and in that moment you realize you're happy.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. The artists, and the scientists, and the poets...none of them fit in at seventeen. You're supposed to get past it. Adults, they see kids killing kids and they know its a tragedy because they used to be those kids. The bullies and the beaten and the loners. You're supposed to get past it. You're supposed to live long enough to take it back.
Who you are is who you are. We're liars. We're thieves. We're addicts. We take our happiness for granted until we hurt ourselves or someone else. We hold grudges. And when faced with our mistakes, we reinvent the past. We reinvent ourselves. At least we try. We're prideful, and we're lustful, and we're incredibly flawed. And eventually, our flaws catch up to us.
Countries are always fighting over stupid stuff like oil. Why don't we fight over something more valuable, like ink. I mean, how much is oil? 5 dollars a gallon. And how much is ink? 45 dollars a cartridge!
Have you ever woke up from a really good dream and just tried to go back to sleep? Or had the flu and you promise yourself that you'll appreciate normal so much more if you could just get back to it? That's the way I feel; I just want things to go back to the way they were.
One of these days you're going to wake up, and you're going to feel that same me in your heart and you're going to realize how much I love you, and whenever that day is, I'll still be waiting for you, and you'll come home to me.