*Me watching a movie*
Me: What the heck is going on?
Me: I need to go to the bathroom
Me: I want some popcorn.
Me: Why don't relationships just work like this?
Me: Where do I know that actor from?
Me: You can't just make out in the middle of the school hallway!
Me: Based on a true story? That's just depressing.
Me: Guy at my school are not this attractive.
Me: It must have been awkward filming that scene.
Me: This is why I have high expectations for relationships.
Me: DON'T GO IN THE CLOSET! DON'T GO IN THE CLOSET!
Me: I can already tell I'm going to hate this character.
Me: Thank you, tallest person in the world, for obstructing my view by sitting in front of me.
Me: The book was so much better.