I am done trying to please others. It's my life. I'm going to be me! Not who you want me to be. If you don't like me, or the way I live my life, theres the door! Walk out and never come back! I don't give a flying fladoodle! If you are going to try to change me into the person YOU want to be, then goodbye. You can try to fool somebody else into your little trap. And I am also done holding on. I am done fighting for all these friendships and relationships. I have to fight for friendships all the time. I am done fighting. I'm standing my guard and I'm not giving in. If you say this is it, then this is it. Don't epect me to just come crawling back to you in 24 hours, because that is not going to happen. I am also trying to learn how to hold a grudge. I forgive too easily. People hurt me, and all I do is give in and let them hurt me again. "giving somebody a second chance is like giving them another bullet for their gun because they missed your head the first time" I am moving on. I am done trying for guys. If I have liked a guy for a really long time now, and he still doesn't even know I exist, I am going to move on. I am not going to waist my time on him. I am not going to be bummed-out just because he doesn't like me, that's his lose, not mine. I am also learning how to accept myself. I am me, and there is nobody I would rather be. I am done thinking negatively about myself. People do say mean and hurtful things, but you just gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and stand tall and proud. "Confidence is the key to life". If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect others to believe in you? If you are constantly saying negative things about yourself, how do you expect to believe others when they say it? You won't believe it when others say it, so then you begin to think even worse about yourself. Well that's not my case anymore. No more depression either. I am going to be happy with my life. And if I'm not, I'm going to either move on, or change it. I'm not going to stick around in some crappy life that I hate. I am either going to move on from the situation and accept the facts, or I'm going to change my life. I am making a few big comittments here. To move on, to stop being depressed, to start having some confidence, to not care what others think. I know it's going to be tough. All my life I have always let others opinions tear me down, I always just get depressed when something bad happens. I never tried to move on, or change it. I have always had low self-confidence. But now I am standing up for what I believe in. I am doing this for me. I am doing this to help make my life a little easier. Now I know it will be tough, but I can do it. I have the loving care and support from my family and friends and I know they will always be there to back me up. I know if I try to go back to my normal ways, they wont let me. They will tell me "failure is not an option." I hope whoever took the time to read this, is now going to try to change their life, in one way or another. I hope I have influenced you. Nothing is impossible. The sky is the limit. Anything can be done with a little determination and effort.
~Brianna Leigh Montville June 5th, 2012
SoTotallyBri