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SheDreamer

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Member Since: 10 Mar 2012 05:21pm

Last Seen: 28 Jun 2020 02:22am

user id: 282597

94 Quotes
551 Favorites
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64 Followers
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i'm the sort of girl made up of  a million piece jigsaw puzzle. i have plain and downright ugly colors, but that only makes it easier for you to see the rainbow inside.
im not saying im the sort of girl that needs to be put back together as if she's broken, but i am saying im the sort of girl with a few pieces missing that tries to close up the hole because she's afraid the colors will leak out.
im the sort of girl that likes to inhale starfish and coral because that way, when i die someday, my inside will be beautiful.
im not the sort of girl that craves attention, but i am the sort of girl to take away the microphone and turn the lights off so i when i say something i want you all to hear.
im the sort of girl made of music held together by weeds growing in my cracked concrete exterior.
im the sort of girl who can either be your best friend or your worst enemy- provided you choose to push me away.
and we haven't even touched half my pieces yet...
  1. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2020 2:23am UTC
    i. learning to love is
    a l o n e l y t a s k
    i am not
    loved like that
    "no vacancy" hangs over my chest
    "we have no room in this ghosttown for you"
    ii. tempted
    to trace hot lines of desire
    streaking my sheets red
    blistering beneath bluejeans
    iii. you were made for labor, not for love.
    i whisper,
    pulling compression socks over swollen toes.
    you were made for labor, not for love.
    i hum,
    silence nestling herself into my ribcage.
    not for love. not for love.
    my mouth is empty.
    the endless warehouse shelves vibrate from boxes running along the roller tables,
    tumbling head-over-bubblewrap into a truck driver's delivery route.
    the bowed steel groans crookedly, promising
    only for labor. only for labor.
    iv. i've dreamed of summer romance.
    how fitting i spend my time in a box
    taping boxes shut
    sending taped boxes into larger boxes
    leave in a wheeled box
    to come to a box where somebody lives.
    my body-box is damaged goods
    where is my sell-by stamp?
    v. i cannot learn to love.
    i am only fit for labor.
    i set the table for three:
    my body-box, loneliness, and silence.
    i do not make dinner.
    best to leave the table unsatiated.
    -help wanted, apply within (no vacancies)
    original by shedreamer

  2. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    September 30, 2016 3:36pm UTC
    "How are you?" they ask, stroking your arm.
    They see the scars. They know why they're there. They don't like it any more than you do.
    You shrug off the smiles and the questions. "I'm fine." A thousand other answers spring to your tongue, begging to leap out into the air. "I'm still hurting", "I need to know it's okay to cry", "I need to know why you say such cruel things about the man I love[d]", "I loved him once. And i still love him. And i will ALWAYS love him.", "What do you do, when you've found your happily ever after, but someone else slammed the door shut in your face?", but most pressing of all...
    "Do you believe in life after love?"
    You stare into the mirror, when the guests have come and gone, the wine drunken, the bread broken. You stare at your eyes and your nose and your lips and remind yourself that someone once loved not just the body you wear, but also the mind and heart and spirit and soul inside. You stare at yourself and smile. You know the answer.
    "There is no life after love. Love never leaves."

  3. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    April 29, 2015 10:14pm UTC
    That moment when you realize.....
    unholy f.cking sh.t.
    i'm fat.

  4. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    November 17, 2014 9:50am UTC
    sometimes, breathing hurts.
    breathe in the pain. feel the secondhand smoke sear your lungs as your eyes water. feel the panic setting into your mind as you realize breathing hurts. feel the toxic air pervade your capillaries as it presses phantom butterfly kisses along your aching jaw line. breathe in the pain.
    and know that you are alive.
    sometimes it's in these moments when everything else fades away to a soft, fuzzy gray that you become the clearest. you're the sharpest thing in your life and you're not going down with out a fight. you've been here a hundred hundred times before, and everytime you've stood tall. you've allowed the pain to drive you to your knees with your forehead pressed against the wall, and gone from a woman breaking into girl-sized pieces. you've let your first love be the thing that shreds your will to exist, and still you're standing tall.
    come, my dear. breathe in the pain. and know that you are alive.
    you've lost a few fights before, and you will lose a few fights again. you really can't win every time. you've never learned, have you? you've heard the phrase "no one loves a loser" too many times. but what you've failed to realize is that no one loves a loser because a loser has lost love. you're not a loser, darling. but you're not a winner, either. you're facing your worst fear: mediocrity.
    you're afraid of standing on the border between success and failure, because a feather-soft touch can knock you over the edge. you're afraid of what youv'e been doing your whole life, aren't you?
    every night, you walk the serrated-knife edge between failure and living. sometimes, you've tripped and you've caught yourself on your bleeding, blistered hands.
    you thought you could climb up the sky, steal the sun, and capture it in a jar. but the sun is not made of fireflies, and every wish you've made on it can happen.
    you just need to made them happen yourself. "the world is not a wish-granting factory", and neither is it truly what destroys our dreams. it pushes them and pushes them and waits for the dreams to push back.
    breathe in the pain. breathe in your dreams. breathe in resolution.
    you are alive.
    you are living.
    you are dreaming.

  5. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    November 2, 2014 9:45pm UTC
    There he was, glinting in the darkness. She smiled.
    "I've missed you, babe. I've missed you a lot."
    He frowned. "You left me. I don't even know why I'm here..... except....."
    He caressed her cheek and slid his hand down her arm to gently touch her wrist.
    "It felt like you needed me again."
    He raised her wrist to his lips.
    "And besides, my dear, I missed you, too.
    And this time, I promise that I. won't. ever. leave."
    She smiled, her empty eyes expressionless.
    "I'd like that very much."

  6. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    September 21, 2014 3:54pm UTC
    So there's this guy....
    Who's incredibly gentle, kind, and sweet.
    And he spent the entire weekend
    [Thursday through Sunday] with me,
    making sure that
    i was
    okay.

  7. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    April 12, 2014 2:15pm UTC
    So there's this guy...
    who's generally perfect.
    And we talk every night at 11.
    But last night, we talked for 6 hours
    starting at 6 pm.
    And we didn't stop until i fell asleep.

  8. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    April 8, 2014 9:50am UTC
    Dear Dad,
    Thank you for making me feel so pathetic this morning as you took me to school, yelling at me for not being awake 10 minutes earlier. Thank you for telling me that I should be ashamed of myself and my irresponsibility. Thank you for setting a ridiculous curfew that I will not be able to meet. Thank you for telling me that my insommia is "made up". Thank you for deciding that you would not call in and excuse me from being given detention, even on days when it really isn't my fault. Thank you for calling me lazy. Thank you for screaming at me that I an undisciplined simply because I took a few minutes last night and watched some tv while I ate dinner. Thank you for promising me that I was a failure and that I would fail college because of these 8 am lectures. Thank you. Really, Dad. Thank you.
    Tearfully,
    -SheDreamer

  9. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    October 31, 2013 10:13am UTC
    dear ocean,
    you say you are tossing and turning fitfully, trying to see my face. but i am sitting still as a stone, convinced that i have somehow displeased you, and this is my punishment. 
    what did i do, ocean, to desrve this miserable existence of mine? the moon cannot give life; she is barren and lifeless and alone and broken and scarred and she's tearing herself apart again.
    i'm afraid, ocean, that one evening when i start to peer over the sunset-screen i'll see you holding the sun in your arms, promising her the shoreline no longer has any importance; the moon could never be loved; and the starfish you once stole from the heavens are hers again.
    i'm afraid, ocean, that if you spend so much time kissing the shore you'll not want my presence again.
    dearest ocean, i'm afraid. and i detest this fear that courses through my star-blood.
    perhaps i shall see you tonight, my ocean.
    love,
    -moon

  10. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    September 13, 2013 3:19pm UTC
    The sad part....
    I don't want to get better.
    He doesn't want me anymore...
    So I'm tearing myself apart.
    And relishing every.
    Last.
    Moment.

  11. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    September 12, 2013 9:20pm UTC
    So there's this guy...
    who's generally perfect.
    And once upon a time, he loved me.
    I knew that one day
    He would leave me.
    I knew it.
    But he promised me that here would be no one else.
    And that he really loved me.
    He promised me
    That he would
    Love me forever.
    But no one keeps their promises anymore.
    And no one tells that truth anymore, either.
    I started to believe him.
    Until I did, in fact, believe him.
    And less than 24 hours later,
    He found someone else.
    And less than 72 hours later,
    We were finished.
    Because no one keeps their promises anymore.
    And because no one tells the truth anymore, either.

  12. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    September 11, 2013 2:21pm UTC
    So there's this guy...
    who's generally perfect.
    And he broke up
    With me right before
    "National Suicide Awareness/Prevention Week."
    ...Are you TRYING to hurt me?...
    But I'm not going to tell him.
    Rather, I'm going to sit back,
    Think of ways to destroy myself,
    And be glad that he's happier
    With HER... not me....
    </3

  13. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    September 11, 2013 12:12pm UTC
    Goal: to become thin at any cost.
    I want to see my ribs and have a flat stomach.
    Comment a food and I won't eat it for a month.
    Comment an exercise, and I'll do it for 10 minutes or 10 reps.
    1 like = 5 sit-ups, 5 pushups, and 100 less calories for a day.

  14. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    August 30, 2013 3:08pm UTC
    So there's this guy...
    who's generally perfect.
    And he's my boyfriend.
    Yesterday he left for college,
    And moved into his dorm.
    Whenever he tells me about his day,
    It makes me sad.
    He found a way out--
    But I'm still stuck here
    with what makes me
    starve, cry, and cut.

  15. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    June 4, 2013 3:30pm UTC
    So there's this guy...
    who's generally perfect.
    And Sunday night when I wanted to cut so bad,
    He talked me out of it.
    He begged me not to,
    And when i put the razor down to listen,
    He said that he wouldn't leave until I was okay.
    I put the razor away, crying pathetically.
    And do you know what this guy did?
    He smiled and said, "That's my girl."

  16. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    June 4, 2013 3:20pm UTC
    Summer Goal #1:
    Achieve Anorexia Athletica.
    (and not let my boyfriend know.)

  17. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    May 16, 2013 10:05am UTC
    && Here i am...
    still not good enough.
    i'm tired of trying.

  18. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2013 10:53am UTC
    so there's this guy...
    who's generally perfect.
    and on prom day,
    he showed up 2 hours early--
    just to give me earrings
    so i could wear them
    to prom.

  19. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    April 16, 2013 11:23am UTC
    he's the boy with the saddest eyes i've ever seen, hiding himself in the sunshine. he thinks he can breathe underwater, he thinks he can fly through the earth...

  20. SheDreamer SheDreamer
    posted a quote
    April 15, 2013 9:36am UTC
    Dance alone to the beat of your heart

:)

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