I need some help.
I have boyfriend, but I'm not sure if I really do love him, or if I'm just trying to convice myself that I do. Then, there's my friend, Rach, who I just might be in love with. Now, I made a quote on my normal non-secret account and in part of it, I said that I thought she, Rach, was cute. A mutal friend who I met in gradeschool comment, "You think Rach is cute? No way! I'm so telling her this!" I don't know if she told her or not, but the next day my school had a dance and it was me, Rach, and Em. My friend from grade school wasn't there because she hates dances. But the entire time, I felt like I was either staring at Rach, or purposly avoiding looking at her. Now, after my friend commented on the quote, I feel awkward around her. But I still love spending time with her and learning about her.
However, if she did return my feelings, there's kind of the fact previously stated that I have a boyfriend. I'd break up with him to be with her, but I don't want to hurt his feelings and it's awkward explaining it to him that I also like a girl in addition to him. I also kind of want to tell him that I'm not sure if I really do love him or not. What's happened to me and my previoius boyfriends, is thjat I'll find out they like me, and I wouldn't have had any previously 'serious' feeling for them, but then I start seeing things in them that I hadn't before. I'm pretty sure that's what happening now, except I haven't known my boyfriend for several years before dating. It was only a few hours. Today, he was at the skatepark where we met, and apparently people were talking crap to him about us dating and how I'm not only almost an entire year older than him, but a grade level too. I felt really bad and considered breaking up with him to get it to stop. But I didn't.
Anyways, what I'm asking is, should I explain the situation to my boyfriend, break up with him, or both? Or do you have another idea? Anything is helpful at this point.