I'm not entirerly sure why people set up accounts that allow others to ask them questions anonymously. I've heard people say that they want to get hate, as they find it amusing, but I'm sure deep down they do not really take pleasure in being degraded and insulted. Unless they are masochistic; in that case I am sure they are highly entertained by the petty remarks.
On another note, and mainly because I don't feel like writing a different quote for each thought I have been meaning to discuss (though with whom, I am not sure), I really try to release my anger through creative means but lately I have been feeling perpetually violent. I prefer to confront things, but in certain situations this is not possible and it really irritates me. I would rather just say how I am feeling (or rather, yell how I am feeling) but it would only complicate the situation more and I would just be digging myself a deeper hole. I tell myself I would not sink so low as to constantly plot revenge but I cannot seem to help it. And it isn't a "I'm going to be nasty and spiteful towards you," plot. It is a "so which way of murdering you would be the most painful and demeaning?" Which is a bit unnecessary. Of course, I would never follow through with murdering someone (I do have plans for a somewhat successful future, that does not involve a murder sentence) but oh it is hard to have to sit next to someone you thoroughly dislike and control your urges to stand up and kick them in the face. Luckily for society, I am a control freak and care too much about myself to risk suspension, expolsion or social isolation.
The main source of my indignance is the fact that I feel so violated and wronged. Although the situation is inevitably my fault, as I was the person who started the war - as one might call it - I did tell the truth and I did not sugar coat my mistakes. And because of that I expected the trust and acceptance of my friends.. something that I did not get. And so I sit there, every day, talking my own mind out of violent outbursts, trying not to imagine them all dead.
I have began to lose weight lately, which has made me very happy. I have been working really hard at the gym, boxing and pilates and counting calories and have used self control and eaten the right portion sizes and it has paid off. I have lost eight kilos (roughly 17 pounds) in about a month and I am planning on losing even more until I reach a healthy weight for my height and age. I went from being about 77/78 kilograms to being 69/70 kilograms. I am pretty proud of myself. My goal is to lose another 10-12 kilos but for now I am maintaining the weight and that is very rewarding. I have lost an inch from both my waist and bust and 2 inches from my hips. Not too impressive but I'm still ecstatic. Oh and It's my birthday in eight days and I'm not even excited. I don't even like cake. Or eat sugar (other than what is in fruit). Or dairy. Or bad carbohydrates. I guess I will just binge on salad and lean meat </3
PrettyHandsomeAwkward